Andy just doesn’t get me. I mean, he’s totally clueless! Thank God we’ll only be here for one more week, cuz he’s getting to me again. I’m not pissed, but I am annoyed. I’m gonna remember these times whenever I may feel guilty about disappearing from his life.

He never mentioned Linda in his latest message, but he did excitedly tell me about this new temp job he got as a receptionist and how much he hopes it’ll be a permanent thing (till he makes sure he gets fired). At this point, I said to myself, here comes the God shit I’m so sick of hearing over and over and over. Sure enough, he did go right into God and how much he’s come through for him this year. Then he says not to be mad at God for answering his prayers, and I’m like - what?! God’s answering someone’s prayers never made me mad. All I ever told Andy was that I felt he gave God way too much credit and that God’s mostly mean and vengeful, not loving. To me, he’s insensitive, with not much compassion. Especially when it comes to women. He seems to not care about their hardships and their emotions. He seems to inflict more pain and punishment than not. God may answer a few of Andy’s prayers but look at him and his life in general. He’s still alone, and the main reason he’s alone is cuz of God. So, I get embarrassed for him when he degrades himself by overpraising God. That’s just like a woman or a man boasting about how great their spouse is when in the midst of their being great, they’re also beating the snot out of them. It’s like - wake up, Andy! God’s not all you think he is! If he was, you wouldn’t be where you are today and neither would most people. Yes, I’m truly blessed compared to your average human being, and yes, I’m glad I can’t have a kid and don’t know why I ever wanted one in the first place, but still, God took away my choice and my right to choose, as a woman, whether or not I have a kid, and I’ll never forgive him for that.

Later...

I did it again. I was getting short on sleep, so I was able to fall asleep last night at around 11:00 instead of 1:00-1:30, and I got up just before 8:00 rather than just after 9:00.

I’m glad we’re moving, cuz this new mailman we’ve got isn’t much better than the other one. I’d hang my letters to the mailbox flap with a clothespin. Well, this dude would yank the letter and clothespin off and not have the decency to put the clothespin back, the rude little shit. Tom rarely mails anything from here cuz when he does mail stuff, it’s usually bills, and it’s safer to drop those in a regular mailbox. It’ll be different at the house cuz we’ll have a regular mailbox at the end of the driveway where you put the flag up when you have outgoing mail.