I overslept today and didn’t get up till an hour after my alarm was supposed to go off. Thank God that’s all it was. I don’t know why it didn’t go off. It wasn’t set when I checked it, but last night I could’ve sworn it was set.

I didn’t get into my trip to the dentist yet. I gave Tisha the phone number here and our PO Box, and we briefly discussed how we were staying in a short-term rental place while we were having a manufactured home built. Melanie asked me about it, saying she overheard my conversation with Tisha. I told her about it and that I may have to drop her for another ortho. She didn’t comment about that either way, but I tell you, she’d be happy to get rid of me. I always got the impression she didn’t like me much. Good-looking people rarely do, and I guess it’s fair to say I have done enough whining and complaining along the way, that’s for sure!

So, she took me to a room in back I’ve never been in before and the doctor came in a few minutes later and gave me two shots of Novocain. He filled my fillings, then filed my “hill” down. The bottom teeth were sort of uphill towards the right, so I had him file the tops of the left side teeth which were taller, and it looks better.

He also gave me a home fluoride treatment. It’s a tube of toothpaste with fluoride that I brush on as I’d normally brush my teeth after I’ve brushed my teeth with regular toothpaste, then I’m not to rinse it out. It’s to hopefully harden up my enamel. A part of why I could be getting so many cavities is cuz my teeth are too soft.

Later...

Tom got in with the groceries, ate, made some phone calls, beat me by two points at a game of miniature golf on the computer, then went to bed.

They’re still fucking painting and they called a little while ago wanting to paint our door. Tom said he saw them painting the doors purple as he was coming in. He told them today and tomorrow wouldn’t be convenient. They should just fucking wait till we leave. I’m sick of apartments out here! They always have to interfere with your life and have something going on. Why are apartments so obsessed with always having something going on? Do they feel it’ll help them do better business if they appear to always be working on some project? Well, I’m sorry, but they’re not gonna stink our place up with paint fumes and interrupt our lives at $850 a month. If they want to do that shit, they’ll just have to discount us or something.

I guess the people downstairs, but not directly below us, got fed up and didn’t pay up, cuz there’s a note on their door ordering any locksmith from opening the door. They’ll have to get their stuff at the office.

Despite all their activities, the last couple of days have been a little quieter around here. The black lady below us who is pregnant, had cut the banging down to only banging in spurts. She goes in and out but is home for the most part. The blacks next to us are gone, for the most part, thank God, but from about 4:30-6:30, black and white kids are out screaming their lungs out and I stay in the bedroom with the fan. Thank God their living room and patio are not next to the bedroom! There are 3-5 blacks next door who are friends with some white family that either live at the complex or somewhere nearby. The white woman who was out front yesterday talking to the black woman has a husband who’s one of the painters here, according to Tom. The black below us has a van, and I can see it from the bathroom window when it’s here. Nonetheless, see what I mean? Black below me, black next to me, black everywhere! Why oh why can’t I have white neighbors?! I feel like God’s rubbing these Mexicans and blacks into my face and forcing them and their wild lifestyles on me. At least Mexicans can’t afford this place and I think I was wrong when I said that there was a huge Mexican family downstairs. To my amazement, though, I haven’t heard bassy music. Just bangs, screams, and the sanding/painting work.

It’s hard to suddenly undo four years’ worth of damage and just be OK with blacks and Mexicans. It’s like if a woman gets raped - well, she’s not gonna be thrilled with the idea of guys for a while afterward, is she? Getting shit on and abused for no reason whatsoever by a pack of blacks for three years, then by a pack of Mexicans for four months, is not gonna be easily forgotten. It’s just like with the NHA and other people/places that have wronged me. I can’t just spring back and lose my general prejudice toward these people overnight. It’s going to take time. In fact, I may always be uncomfortable around these people for the rest of my life. The damage is done and it may be too late. Again, I wasn’t born a natural racist. I’m only the racist that they made me. However, if a black or Hispanic person is friendly to me, I can be friendly right back.

Tomorrow we’re gonna make a day of it and go out to Casa Grande to pay for the land, as well as check out some stores.

Later...

I should get writing before the late afternoon/early evening banging starts and breaks my concentration.

I’m having mid-cycle spotting again. More so than last month. It’s really weird how I do that a lot these days.

Tom was out at the property the other day and he says it’s big. He said it took him about 200 steps to walk across the property and that it’d probably take me 300 steps. He says you’d be tired after walking along the edge of the property. The bad news, though, is that there are tons of big, slow, black ants that no doubt bite just like the little red fire ants do. That sucks. I was hoping there’d be fewer ants, bees, and spiders out there, but it looks like I hoped wrong.

I trimmed Rapunzel’s hair cuz I thought it looked funny the way it was so overly long and brought it to the hem of her dress. It was too long, past her feet, after all. Especially with her wide-skirted dress. Anne, Edie, Summer Dream, Victoria, Lollipops, and Christina are in the living room, and in the bedroom, I had Patrice, Bailey, Maria, Katie, Ashley, Giselle, Liselle, Mary, and Falling Star. Well, due to all the activity around here, I decided to pack most of the dolls, so now I only have 5 dolls to hide in the closet on maid service day, which will be Patrice, Bailey, Maria, Falling Star, and Summer Dream.

I took pictures of the way the dolls were set up before I packed most of them, including pictures of my teeth with and without the retainers. I’ll make sure Dureen, Art and Tammy get copies of those, along with other pictures I said I intended to send them after we get settled in the house.

Like a lot of businesses, Ashton-Drake’s pretty pushy. They send envelopes with ads for just one doll at a time, with little posters of the dolls, so I started saving them and maybe I’ll make a little doll poster wall after I’ve collected a handful.

It’s definitely true that no two dolls are alike. Not even if they’re the same doll. Giselle and Liselle are of the same mold, of course, but due to the way no two bodies are stuffed alike, they have slightly different poses. Giselle appears to be leaning slightly to the right, while Liselle appears to be leaning slightly to the left.

Later...

It’s getting close to time for next door’s antics. In fact, I can already hear the screaming, so I’ll write later and maybe put my cordless headphones on.

Later...

OK, I’ve got my headphones on so I can’t hear the rude blacks next door on their daily banging spree. They do this mainly around lunchtime and dinnertime.

The time passes way too slowly here. I get bored a lot, and last night I was bored to the point of depression. I worry about if the book-writing doesn’t work out. God, I hope it does, cuz I’ll spend my years dying of sheer boredom after the house is all set up if I don’t have something consistent to do besides my hobbies. No, I still don’t want a kid. I don’t want to be run ragged either and have no life at all.

Yesterday we checked out some shops and found a lot of Indian dolls. The most impressive doll of all who looked a lot like Chyna was $1,200. They had a few adult Indian dolls that were pretty nice and that weren’t too expensive and some baby ones. At first I wasn’t impressed with the baby ones, but then they grew on me. They’re different, and I may get a couple, but not there cuz we can find them cheaper in other places.

I almost bought a $200 redheaded doll that was about 28”, but her outfit was a little too conservative and dull, and one of her eyelashes was screwed up. She just didn’t quite speak to me, although I do hope to have a redhead someday to add to the variety. Tom liked her face, though she didn’t look real at all. I was surprised at how lightweight she was. She had less porcelain than Ciara does.

We also stopped at Denny’s and I got a delicious steak and egg dinner. On our way out, Tom almost won me a stuffed animal. They have these glass cages with stuffed animals, and you get 30 seconds to try to grab one with a claw.

It’s funny, but I find myself wondering about that Mexican girl named Linda who wanted me really bad and whom I had met at the first club I ever danced at. I was living next to Andy and the butch at the Vista at the time, and never had I had a woman pursue me like she did! I had always fantasized about a woman chasing me like that too, but she just scared the shit out of me. I remember other dancers saying she looked hard-core, and she even came in with a few guys. She was extremely persistent, that’s for sure. What I wonder is - just what would have really happened if I’d let her come to my place? Would it have been fun? Or would it have been a nightmare? She just seemed so male, so that’s what scared me. I immediately got the feeling she could be violent or into rough sex, so I followed my gut and never met with her. I’ll still always wonder for the rest of my life if my gut instinct was right about her or not, but I’m sure it was.