Friday, September 3, 1999

Last night at around 8:30, while Tom was in the living room and I was in the bedroom, we heard music that was between soft and medium, but neither of us could say for sure if it was next door. When I looked out, I saw a silver car that I don’t think I’ve seen before but it left while I was listening to music and while Tom was dead to the world, so I can’t say for sure if it was that car.

It was actually a bit chilly when I went out early to dump some recyclables, and it’s only the beginning of September.

Andy left a message saying that although he has been doing more things lately, he’s not very happy. He’s puking every day from nerves. Then he should stop stuffing himself if he’s got a nervous stomach. Making a pig of himself on top of a nervous stomach isn’t very smart. It’s not a very good combination - nerves and a lot of food.

He also acknowledges that the way he feels is his fault since he chose not to work much throughout 1999 and that he’s lonely and feeling lost in life. I feel bad for him, cuz I’ve got a damn good feeling that this is how he’ll always feel. Sadly, I seriously believe he’s destined to live life feeling nothing but lost and lonely. And he calls God his friend?

Later...

Today’s one of those days the pickup’s gonna be here. Do I think Deb or Chester are working? I’m not sure, but I doubt it. If one of them is working, it’s probably Chester. I doubt the city and welfare will cut Deb off till her last kid’s on its own and that last kid probably won’t be born till she’s 45, which means they probably won’t cut her till she’s around retirement age, so then she can turn right around and collect social security to live off of. I know how these Mexicans operate. Girls are encouraged to start breeding upon starting their periods, and they keep having babies up till menopause so they can collect welfare while they’re under 65, then turn around and collect SS. That way they don’t ever have to work. It’s sick! Do these people feel they deserve nothing better? Do they really have so little self-respect? Do they always want to live life scraping pennies? Are those welfare checks really worth it? Or wouldn’t they rather work so they don’t have to struggle so much to make ends meet? If they’d just stop having so many damn kids, they’d have a shot at having a life and getting a good career going, but nope. They’d just rather let themselves be bogged down with kids so they have no life other than kids and welfare. Guess that’s all they’re good for. That’s all sick fucks like next door who don’t give a damn about anyone but themselves deserve too, as far as I’m concerned.

Later...

How can they call the 80s the “me” decade when every decade before the 80s, the 90s, and all the decades to come will be just as loaded with selfish people? A good 85% of the population is selfish. Always have been, always will be.

We got approved for more than we thought we would as far as the loan goes, so that’s good.

I can’t believe we have just three more weekends left here! This Labor Day weekend, though, is gonna be a nightmare. They’re not just gonna have car stereos banging in and out, but there’ll be hours and hours of music blaring from the house. They just have to make a scene and be such attention-getters! They have to make everything a public affair! I can’t believe, though, that the ranchero hasn’t been around for about a week, but it’ll definitely be here tonight. By Saturday or Sunday night at the latest. I’ll be under the fan and music for damn sure, cuz I’m not gonna be forcefully invited to their fucking party. I shouldn’t have to know about it if they want to party and be forced to be involved. I don’t want to know they exist! Can’t these fucks go to someone else’s party somewhere else? No, of course not! Everything’s gotta be done here. Typically, Labor Day parties go from the early afternoon till the late afternoon, but I’ll bet you anything they’ll party till around midnight, give or take an hour or two. Don’t these fucks ever get sick of each other?!

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