Andy made a generous offer earlier. He said he had free tickets to see Linda Ronstadt and Emmylou Harris tonight and that he’d take me. I thought about it but declined cuz he’s about ten years too late. It’s funny how I was once dying to go see her as a teenager and couldn’t cuz I got in trouble for smoking or something like that, but now that I can see her, I decide not to. I would’ve up till I was around 24, though. I was tempted at first, cuz I have been a fan of hers since I was about 9 years old, after all, and since it probably wouldn’t be so wild of a crowd, but then I was like - nah. He’d insist on either taking me to his house afterward or coming here to use the Internet, so nah. And the more I tried to tell him that I just wanted to go straight home afterward without him, he’d push harder to come in or to go somewhere else first. Also, I can’t tell him not to smoke in his own car, so I’d have had to put up with his cigarette smoke. Also, you just don’t get the kind of views you can from TV and videos, and she is old and fat now. I haven’t one stitch of lust left for her. Still, it was nice of Andy to offer.

We ended up going on a wild goose chase today cuz the fucking doll store we thought was in Phoenix is really in Kingman (it didn’t say in the phonebook, so we assumed it was in PHX) and it’s not a regular store. It’s a mail-order service. We called them on the cell phone when we couldn’t find them, and they say they’re opening a regular store in Mesa in a few weeks. I think, though, that after two tries at looking in stores and not finding anything, I might call it quits for now and just get Marisa, Chyna, Sekarina, Tiffany, Sacajawea, and Pine Leaf if they’re still available.

Again, everywhere I looked, as we were cruising down the streets, was nothing but those fucking, filthy, lazy, freeloaders! I swear, Phoenix is 60% Mexican, 30% black, and 10% white. Will there be any white people left in this country, especially in the southwest, a century from now?

Speaking of freeloaders, the ones next door have oil-absorbing gravel all over their driveway, cuz the pickup has a very bad oil leak. But if they don’t want oil in the fucking driveway, why can’t they just park the damn thing in the street?

Also, the dark red car wasn’t here long last night, it didn’t come and go a million times, and there was no music, no yelling, no loitering, or any trashing. I tell you - it’s cuz we’re moving, so there’s not gonna be much in the way of shit to deal with from them. If the house was still on the market, then yes.

Later...

I just changed the animals’ cages.

Andy left a message regarding the animal pictures I sent him. He said he’s normally grossed out by rodents but can see how they’d make cute pictures. He’s also going to see Linda alone. This will be at least the third or fourth time he’s seen her.

Tom’s mom had to return early from her trip to Michigan. She had problems getting on and off the planes. The law requires planes to accommodate handicapped people, but I guess they didn’t feel like it, so they had to deal with that shit, and getting on/off the planes was a big to do. Then when they finally got to Neva’s door she collapsed. All the while she was there, she was out of it. For some unknown reason, her brain isn’t working right. She remembers old stuff better than new stuff, and since it’d been a really long time since she was at Neva’s, she had a hard time remembering the house’s layout.

At first I had a hard time feeling sorry for her and was like - what? Does she want to be a burden to people? How could she have been stupid enough to go in the first place? But according to Tom, she doesn’t know any better. But Mary and her doctors do and they should’ve put their foot down since she obviously can’t make her own decisions. As Tom said, the question is - will she go to California like she was originally planning to with David and Evie? I’m sure she’ll be stupid enough to try. And Mary will be even more stupid and not stop her. Anyway, Evelyn’s gonna be with her during the daytime cuz she just can’t be alone anymore, then I guess, and I hope, she’ll be in some kind of care center where she belongs. It may be more expensive and she may not be as happy, but she belongs in a nursing home/care center of some kind. She’s only got about a year to live anyway, so she may as well go where people can care for her 24 hours a day and where she wouldn’t be such a burden to Tom and Mary. I doubt Tom would ever admit she’s a burden, but still, he doesn’t need to be her daddy. He has too many other things to do. The man’s got a right to have a life one of these days! We need to move and then relax for a change. Not play parent to someone who should be in a facility with people who are trained and equipped to deal with her and her needs. No wonder God didn’t want us to be parents. He knew we’d have to be her parents.