While I’m thrilled to say there haven’t been any anxiety issues, going through menopause really sucks shit big time. I fell asleep just after midnight last night and woke up at 4:30. It took me two hours to finally fall back asleep, and I had to take a Benadryl to help me get there after Tom verified online that it would not be a problem with my other meds. I ended up getting up two hours later than expected. 

I thought my heart was going to start racing before I fell asleep and then as I was trying to fall back asleep this morning, but luckily for me I was okay. Right now I still feel relaxed enough, though tired. It would be a wonderful waste of money if I never needed that beta-blocker, but it still wouldn't surprise me if sooner or later my heart acted up and I need the rescue pills to come to the rescue. It's like having the bad heart that isn't, and like having my health decline even though I am the same healthy person that I have been for well over a decade so long as there are no medication issues. 

I hate how perimenopause is really messing with my sleep. While it may be better to have annoying and frustrating problems than scary ones, it still sucks. I want to do something about it so that I stop waking up so damn often, but I also don't want to add yet another appointment to my already too-long list of appointments. Most of the time I fall back asleep, but lately I am having more days where I am unable to and so I end up lying there for hours. If it weren’t for that, then menopause wouldn't be that big a deal. At least not yet. A little bit of going from warm to cold, prolonged PMS and delayed periods, but that's about it other than the sleeping issues. I should know by the first if my May 7th period is going to be late. 

In happier news, Andy is surprising me with something he promises I will love that he ordered online. This is to help take my mind off the medical stuff. Isn’t that just so damn sweet of him? 

Also, my good buddy Aly who just turned 34, let me know she’s just a text or a tweet away if I need anything. That is really sweet of her. I appreciate having such a wonderful support system. 

I am keeping in touch with my sister as well, and Tom offered to come home earlier if need be, but since I feel okay there’s no point in having him leave early. 

Irene says Nane hasn’t posted anything to her wall since January, and that she hasn’t heard from her since October. She is ignoring all her messages. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but a part of me feels bad because I wonder if it has to do with me. Nane knows we’re friends after all. Irene assured me that all was okay because she has enough friends, and I let her know that I would always be her friend. 

Either way, she cracks me up when we chat live or she writes to me with the way she mixes English with her German. Or tries to anyway. If I didn’t know this much German it would be very hard to communicate with her because her English is so limited. 

Still hear from Mitch and Christine at times, but I rarely hear from Adonis and Eileen.