I’ve been sick and I’m also tired so I’m behind on my blogging. It’s the usual culprits… perimenopause and probably a TSH score that’s getting a little too low for comfort.

Yesterday was fun, shitty and expensive all rolled into one. I got up early and was hoping that Kathleen would still be working for my dentist and not on vacation. There really does seem to be a pattern when it comes to those who are good-looking, super nice or both. They leave or we move. But, as I told myself, if she’s in her 50s as I suspect she is, and knowing how much she seems to love working for my dentist, where else would she go? Why would she quit unless she left the area?

Either way, the dentist is the one appointment I actually look forward to because I feel like I’m going to visit old friends. They’re such nice people. Such a super friendly team that always makes you feel welcome and special. I’ve been going to them for almost 6 years and Kathleen actually makes it a bit fun, LOL.

To go in order of events… while I was doing my hoping that I would see her, Tom cleaned some of the carpet in the master bedroom. Damn was it filthy! I totally regret not laminating the entire house, and just getting throw rugs for certain areas.

I walked down and got the mail from Joe, wondering why it has to be windy every single time I wear a dress. And the shorter the dress, the faster the wind. Mid-thigh dresses apparently mean an average of 8 MPH an hour winds. Anyway, Joe gave me Tom’s surprise electronics package that he gets every three months.

On Monday I had the runs, on Tuesday I didn’t go at all, and yesterday I had the runs before my appointment.

Janet, who was around Kathleen’s age, was the former office manager. She was a very nice lady and was even kind enough to give us a jump one time when our old Ford Taurus crapped out on us. Resistant to change, I wasn’t too happy to learn she’d left back in 2015 and would be replaced by the tall, slim blonde with the friendly blue eyes and the perfect smile for a dentist’s office. Now I am SOOO glad she left.

We got there a few minutes early and I was delighted to see Kathleen who was busy at the computer as soon as we walked in. She glanced at me, smiled, said hello, and then went back to help a couple of women who were at the counter.

Tom and I sat on the loveseat across from the desk and he settled in to play games on his phone. I started to think we wouldn’t have time to chat much because the women were taking quite a while. But they eventually took seats in chairs on each side of us. I then got up and showed Kathleen my latest nail design. She took hold of my hands in hers and admired how “adorable” and “cute” they were.

Kathleen looked great, albeit a bit thin and with dark conservative clothing that’s usually just the opposite of my personal tastes.

“You got blonder and I got blacker,” I said at one point. Even though blonde isn’t my favorite hair color it suits her very well and the shade she now has looks great. It’s a brighter shade of blonde but not so bright like a neon sign.

She asked if I did my hair myself and I told her I did and that it was a stain and not a dye. She asked if I liked it darker, and I said I did for the most part, although it is a touch too dark for me. With permanent stains, you don’t have much choice, though.

I complimented her light pink nails and she said it went with my dress and it did. That’s another thing she complimented was my light pink, simple yet perfectly cut for my figure dress that’s actually flattering to it, giving me a very hourglass appearance.

Right after the two women sat down, the older one that was closest to me really threw me for a minute there. She started talking to me as if we knew each other. Then the younger one sitting next to Tom said, “I’m over here.”

I didn’t realize the woman was blind!

After Kathleen asked me to step away from the counter so she could see my dress, the blind woman said, “I’m blind so what are you wearing?” and I told her.

Before I sat down I said to Kathleen that we ought to go shopping together sometime and she said something to the effect of, “I’d like that.” I told her I would just have to be picked up or dropped off since I didn’t drive.

So then Jessica came and got me and Kathleen was sure to jump up and point out how adorably cute my nails and dress looked to her.

Next, I was turned over to Michaela and I knew right away from my spying endeavors that it was the doctor’s daughter as soon as she said her name. She told me the doctor was her mom, which I hastily praised for saving my teeth which I would have lost years ago if it weren’t for her. You could see the resemblance. She’s a sweetie just like her mom, too.

I told her that I wanted to discuss a mouthguard for my TMJ issues with her mom and she said that was interesting because just that morning they had a meeting on TMJ.

So Michaela took my x-rays and then I was turned over to Holly. Time must be flying faster than she realizes because she said, “Hey, Jodi, it’s been a long time. Like a year now.”

It’s actually been just six months. We chatted about this and that along the way, as usual, including the TMJ. She asked if I was still writing and I told her I was and have slowly started publishing things on Amazon. That seemed to pique her interest even though there haven’t been any new sales since yesterday when a new PBer bought both of the books that are currently published.

After my teeth were cleaned, the doctor came in to see me and greeted me as if we were old buddies and she had missed the hell outa me, LOL. She placed a hand on my shoulder and said, “Hi, Jodi,” in a very cheerful tone.

I briefed her in on my ear surgery way back when and how I thought the pain I began to experience in 2005 was connected to that until my ENT told me what it really is.

She asked if I clenched my teeth when I was awake. I told her I didn’t but that I had no way to know what I was doing in my sleep. I do suspect I might be a grinder, though, because I swear I was grinding my teeth just as I awoke one time which, as she says, can shatter teeth.

She asked what side I usually lay on and I told her it varied but does seem to be worse when I lay on that side. The thing is that I listen to audiobooks at the end of my day and I have to lay on that side otherwise it will be hard for me to hear Dot unless I blast it being mostly deaf in that ear.

For about a year now I’ve suspected something was going on with my back bottom molar on the right side, and I was right. The x-rays show a crack in that tooth as well as an upper tooth.

Unfortunately, the mouthguard is going to cost $300 and then another $300 to do the two partial crowns that I need to be done. If I ignore them, the teeth will eventually crack completely. So $600 on top of the new roof we still need. :-( But I’m tired of the TMJ pain, Tom thinks it’s worth it and encouraged me not to worry about money, and so I’m going to go for it. Those partial crowns will end up being full crowns, root canals or bridges if I ignore them much longer, and that will only cost more in the end. The doctor took pictures of the teeth with this stick-like camera and showed me the fractures on a monitor.

LOL, at the desk Kathleen was telling me to take advantage of the insurance (it doesn’t roll over into next year), and looked at Tom and said, “She’s worth it,” while she squeezed my hand affectionately, and then reached for my necklace to admire it, saying how sparkly it was. I think the entire staff has pretty much figured out by now that I love bright colors and anything shiny.

Before this, it was back to Jessica who made an impression of my bottom teeth. This wasn’t the big deal I feared it would be. I was a little nervous at first, though. The upper impressions they did when I had the old-fashioned braces in the 90s sucked because you felt like the shit was going to go down your throat and gag you. This time was okay, though. There was an area where you stick your tongue through so that it doesn’t get molded into the impression, and it only took two minutes to set.

I wondered if sleeping with a mouthguard can really make me feel better during the day, and the doctor feels pretty confident that it will. If not, they plan to add an acupuncture specialist to their team that can do various massage techniques. That’s funny. Trisha, the woman who lives diagonally from us is a retired acupuncture doctor.

Holly will clean me again in March. Meanwhile, Kathleen scheduled me to pick up my mouthguard and get crowned in three weeks (which means I’ll see Shannan since she’s the dental surgery assistant). Not sure if I’m going to have to go back again to get the permanent crowns but I think I will. Tom said he overheard one of the patients talking about them having this really high-tech 3-D printer where it takes only an hour to print out crowns and stuff like that but couldn’t say if they were just talking about it or if it was something that already existed. With my shit luck, I’ll have to go back yet again, but hey, one more chance to see the lovely, very friendly and definitely flattering Kathleen, haha.

They added another female dentist who works mornings, from what I gather, and when Kathleen was scheduling me she said I could come in the morning if I wanted to and have the other dentist take care of me, but I promptly said, “No,” evoking a smile from Kathleen. That’s when I told her I’d rather stick with someone I know and who knows me, not being a fan of change. This is my dentist until she either retires or we move, whichever comes first.

After we paid the $600 and I was scheduled, Kathleen made a comment about it being fall and I said I hated it and would be complaining until June. This very morning it got down to 69° inside the house. She likes the heat, too. It is going to warm up again but not that much and not for long.

When I mentioned us moving to Florida, I swear she seemed unhappy to hear that. Then I added that it would be several years before we did, and she said something about Tom having time before he retires.

So just as we were leaving Kathleen showed me off to one final person, which was a woman I’m pretty sure she said was a personal friend of hers. On my way out I told her to feel free to look me up on Facebook. Although she said, “I will,” I know damn well she’s not going to look me up. Stacey and countless others in this world have taught me that people are definitely more talk than action, but that’s okay. I don’t mind seeing her at the office only for the 2-4 times I go there each year. It would still be kind of funny if the real Stacey turned out to be Kathleen. Yeah, it’s a no-brainer. Any idiot can see she likes me because no one goes around complimenting people that much and showing them off to everybody and anyone they can, LOL. I pretty much had her figured out early on. Not the first appointment, but the second one made me think something was up when we were sitting at a table by the desk and she was going through some paperwork with me and telling me she didn’t know her patients well yet. This was shortly after she replaced Janet. I thought it was weird that she asked Tom if we were related or something to that effect.

The way she looked at me, the way she complimented me, etc. I’ve always been a pretty intuitive person. Never have I assumed someone liked me that didn’t, though there have been cases where I was surprised to learn that someone liked me that I didn’t realize did like me. I had no idea Marie “Duewi” had a crush on me back in Valleyhead, but I’m a lot smarter and more experienced than I was at 16 years old.

Just like I was sure that Stacey liked me, Kathleen likes me. No doubt about it. I’m not stupid and I doubt Tom is either, haha. But liking someone is usually harmless, especially if it’s a woman.

Do I like her? I do. Kathleen’s not OMG gorgeous, but she is very attractive and I would be willing to bet that most people would consider her better-looking than me. She’s a little too thin, but she’s tall and blond, which most people consider a plus, and she has very soft, feminine, compassionate and friendly features that are perfectly proportioned. On top of that, she seems like a genuine sweetheart, so what’s not to like?

I wouldn’t mind having her as a friend but I don’t have any desire for any kind of a side dish. I’m a 51-year-old whose hormones are shot to hell for God’s sake, not a 20-something-year-old with raging hormones. Oh, my hormones are raging, alright, they’re just doing it in all the wrong ways. Personally, I would probably detest the idea of dating if I were single because I feel so fat, old, and unsexy despite how many people of both genders check me out.

I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable being friends with a woman who was attracted to me as I would if it were a guy. Women don’t usually make other women do things they don’t want to do, but then neither does every single man. I’ve caught our mailman and even the old man next door checking me out but that doesn’t mean I would be afraid to be alone with them. It really depends on the person. I don’t want to “do” anything but I don’t mind a little flirting here and there. I would still be incredibly surprised to hear from Kathleen. Not just because while guys usually seem to follow through, women blow people off, but she is very kind and attractive, and when it comes to women, those are the kind that usually avoid me like the plague. If she were the butch type she would have already called, haha, no offense to the more masculine version of our lesbian/bisexual community.

Just like Stacey is, Kathleen is married. I’ve seen the engagement ring and the giant diamond wedding ring. Human nature is human nature, though, as we know. Rings and certificates never stopped a person from being attracted to another person before and they never will.

Where both she and Stacey are skinny and tend to dress conservatively, they are otherwise complete opposites. Although I will miss our chats from time to time and I did adore her, Stacey was short and dark with a quiet, reserved demeanor without much of a sense of humor. Kathleen is tall and light with a bubbly personality. You feel so comfortable being around her and you look forward to seeing her.

After we left was when things started heading south, but because this entry is so long I will get to it in my next entry.