Started to feel slightly on edge last night, but hopefully, it was only because I haven’t been trimming the pills as much and not because my experiment is about to prove to be a bust. Especially since they canceled my shrink appointment saying she wouldn’t be available that day and to call to reschedule.

No thanks. Not with the experiment still going well and with it taking ridiculously long to get into a shrink. Also, I wasn’t anything I could literally call anxious and I realize I’m not going to feel 100% perfect all the time, especially when I don’t sleep well.

When I got up, I trimmed my pill more toward the middle 3. The number 333 is on one side of the oblong pill. Lately, I’ve been trimming down to the outer 3, bringing it closer to 60mcg rather than 50. Today I trimmed it down to the middle 3. I don’t know that there was a connection, though. I am, however, getting really close to the critical point and if things are going to fall apart, that could be anytime now. Definitely both nervous and excited with August approaching! If I can get there and continue to remain stable, that’s when the real excitement begins!

I didn’t sleep that much better, but I slept longer which helped make up for any disturbances, so I feel better today as well as more rested. A thunk of some kind woke me up early in my sleep and then it was just because.

The flipper, relative, or whoever it is, is still working on Ralph’s place. When I got up shortly after 7, I heard scattered bumps and bangs. Maybe they’re the ones that woke me up if it wasn’t someone hitting the speed bump. The thing is they’re staying there overnight. They were just packing it in at around 7:30 and I could see that instead of the pieces of wood that were on the trailer, there were now a couple of trash bins and one in the carport. I hope to hell they don’t replace windows and I hope to hell even more they don’t do the roof! I hear enough shit around here!

Tom was laughing at my insistence that men who hate women are usually closet-case gays who can’t deal with their sexuality. He just doesn’t see the connection. Well, if you don’t like the opposite sex, that leaves only one other gender…your own.

Then again, who we’re attracted to has nothing to do with what we think of them as people. Being gay or lesbian is about being attracted to the same sex, not about how they treat us, otherwise most women would be lesbian for sure with all the shit men give them. I still think at least some of them are closet cases.

We also shared our different views on the fact that California is now giving free healthcare to illegals. When I read that, it really pissed the shit out of me and it still does. I’m tired of illegals and foreigners coming first. No wonder this country is so in debt. Giving freebies to criminals while honest, hardworking people who are from here have to pay thousands for their own healthcare needs definitely doesn’t sit well with me.

Tom says they’re doing it to save money in the end by giving them preventive care so they don’t have to go to the ER and cost a lot more money since no one is ever turned away from the ER no matter who you are or where you’re from.

I see his point but I still don’t agree with it. All that so-called preventive care eventually adds up and it’s our tax dollars that have to pay for it. I say deport, deport, deport! Treat them in the ER if you must and tell them to follow up in their own damn country or come back legally. Instead, for reasons I don’t understand, most of this country seems hell-bent on welcoming and protecting illegals.

I hate how people can pay to find my email addresses and what accounts I’ve signed up for, no matter how innocent those accounts may be. That is simply no one’s business at all. Why would you care anyway? Why would you want to find out what accounts a friend or someone has?

Speaking of friends, I accept that this is just the way Kim is, but it’s part of why I prefer to avoid the mentally ill, overly emotional/sensitive, and not quite stable in the future. I know that the so-called “normal” people can be a problem as well. After all, Nane turned out to be the judgemental bitch from hell, but those with loose screws are harder to deal with overall and more likely to turn on you if they think you’ve given them a reason to. I know some people are drawn to people like this but damn do they really make my head spin at times, LOL.

After Kim announced on Twitter that Rip Torn had passed and expressed in her journal that she found him funny and a talented actor, she asked me about him in a text message. I told her I wasn’t a fan of his and haven’t been into celebrities since the '90s.

The copycat turns around and says she was never into his stuff and hasn’t followed celebrities since the 90s and early 2000s.

Really? Then why announce his death, praise him in your journal, and have a million fan accounts for a million different celebrities?

I can kind of understand the psychology behind those who strive to be the opposite of others, but I don’t get the copycatting. Does she think she’ll lose friends if she doesn’t agree with everything they say? With the opposite-doers, it’s all about rebelling. They get tired of feeling forced to conform to the norm so being different is their way of making a statement. One that says, see? I can be as different as I want!

I can see where someone that’s interested in someone may be tempted to pretend they like what they like and don’t like what they don’t like, but I’m not seeing why Kim feels she has to be that way. She does the same thing with Aly, but no matter how many times you try to explain that it’s okay to have some differences, it seems extremely important for her to be right in tune with you.

Twitter says they’re about to roll out some changes like account switching and night mode. First off, we already have night mode options, and I see nothing about things we could really use like editing tweets and choosing to make some private. They’re too all or nothing. I could use the account switcher, though, because Twitter is one of the few sites where I have more than one account. I have the one I share with Aly and Kim, one where I log when I get up, and the other is just for me for everything and anything. It’s sort of like a micro-journal. I was going to make it public and just not mention it to anyone since I didn’t see the point, but Aly would only find it, so I’ve protected my tweets. Besides, some tweets really are private anyway.