This cock not sleeping here while living here really gets to me at times. The little punk was in for an hour in the early afternoon and then came back from five to nine. Again, who the hell needs to see their parents every single fucking day? It’s like they want to annoy the neighborhood.

The urge to send an anonymous email to the office is there at times but I not only know it wouldn’t do me any good other than to vent but now I’m afraid to. if they figure out who I am, if they haven’t already, they’ll only spite us for it. Once again, just got to suck it up.

Kim found Hula Dancer. Damn! My last entry wasn’t even on the front page when she hit it so I don’t know how the hell she found it unless she was browsing through the pages of entries. There really is no hiding in public but Kim is dumb. So hopefully she didn’t put two-and-two together because then she may alert Aly to that account. I still don’t know that Aly isn’t having her search for me, copy and paste things for her, or somehow hacking into me.

Read an article about Ask users being redirected to scams and something about users being open to hackers. That may explain how Aly knew I asked certain questions she couldn’t otherwise know. There’s being smart and then there’s being smart. Aly always seems to know too much and I would be willing to bet that she knows a hell of a lot more about me, past and present, than I even realize. I don’t know how one can successfully hack that many accounts or possibly even my entire computer without Norton catching on or any other kind of alert built into certain sites like Facebook being triggered, but she’s got to be hacking some things because I just don’t see how else she could know so much.

I saw on Ask’s Twitter account that people are still complaining about the redirects. I still say Ask is deliberately redirecting people to cut down its users. Their servers are probably overwhelmed or something like that but they obviously have no intentions of fixing things if the last complaint was only days ago. I’ll stick to Curious Cat, dead or not.

I’m not going to ditch Hula Dancer but I’m going to make sure I definitely don’t mention Aly and Kim or use real names.

I would really love to be able to read Aly and Kim’s messages to each other. I’ll bet that would be quite enlightening and interesting!

Aly got home yesterday but all she did was sleep, she just told me. I’ll bet! She’s been in a lot of pain but says it’s getting a little easier. Meanwhile, 300lb Kim goes on with her perfectly healthy life.

I blocked every account of Kim and Aly’s that I know of from Hula Dancer, even though I know they can turn around and create new ones. I’m curious to see if Kim keeps returning.

My NaNo project is coming along well so far. I just wish I would stop getting this end-of-the-day boredom I often get. I have been struggling for the longest time to think of something other than the things I usually do every day to fill those final hours of my day when I find myself bored. It’s just that I’m 53 and not 8. I don’t find things new and exciting because I simply don’t see through the eyes of a child as I sometimes wish I did. If there’s anything I miss about being a kid, besides believing the adults knew it all, it was that I could really make things seem real. Playing pretend was so believable in ways that are just so silly and even kind of embarrassing at this age.

I have been looking for games that are similar to Sims that simulate real life but that aren’t so complex and damn near impossible to figure out. I just don’t know what else I can do but randomly wander around YouTube. I don’t want to join other chat or social sites. I don’t want to flirt with anyone. I don’t want to play games against others. I don’t know what I want to do. I just know there’s only so much writing I can do and so many puzzles I can do and things like that. If I do something too often, it will get boring.

Anyway, I’m now at the halfway point of the medication experiment. It’s still too soon to say anything for sure either way, and we may never know all the factors that caused my anxiety. I’m still going with perimenopause, medication brands and doses. Right now it’s looking good but it’s still too soon to know anything for sure. If I can get to August without anxiety, then the door to the mystery of what caused at least some of the anxiety will then be open a crack. It will be halfway open if I can make it to September and wide open if I can make it to October. Only then can I assume that yes, brands and dosages probably did have something to do with it.