Dear contest throwers: You have congratulated me on 5 complete strangers’ wins this week (as if I had anything to do with them winning) and spammed the shit outa me. So, I think it’s time to take a break from sweeping for a while.

I was surprised to get such good news from Amy yesterday that I was practically in tears of joy! I do NOT have LS!!! No cancer or fungus of any kind was found either. Instead, they think it’s some kind of contact irritation. She said they can’t be a hundred percent sure, but she’s going to have the path report mailed to me.

When I asked her if it was okay to use a dab of hydrocortisone every other day, she said absolutely and that would actually help it. Less is better, she also said. Tom thinks I might have really had LS or something but that the kickass steroid cream my GYN first gave me killed whatever it was and that because I wasn’t a hundred percent better right away, I’ve been over-treating it ever since which is prolonging the irritation. I hope they’re both right and that this too shall pass!

For now, she’s recommended I wear all-cotton undies only and that I change them a few times a day, so even though I already have about 8 pairs, I jumped on Amazon and got a 12-pack of boyshorts. No more thongs for a while, especially ones that are satiny or made of nylon and other non-cotton materials.

I looked at my size 8 Fruit of the Looms which are not only too big on me but they’re 60% cotton and 40% polyester, so forget those. Size 7 fits me better, so I’m wearing the Fruit of the Loom boyshorts in that size, and I also have some by Hanes. I was never sure which one I liked better, so since I couldn’t make up my mind, I got both brands. The ones coming Friday are by Alyce.

She also recommended sticking with Free & Clear detergent and I ditched my feminine spray as well.

The only thing that doesn’t make sense is how long it’s been going on, which for the most part, has been ever since we came to this damn place. I swear it’s like this house has been nothing but a physical curse on me!

Wouldn’t it be too damn awesome if all in the same year I solved this problem, figured out the main triggers of my anxiety, and hit menopause? Sounds too good to be true!

I was surprised by a message from Christine yesterday as well. She said some former neighbor with a foot fetish had been stalking her and that’s why she hadn’t been on Facebook. She figured that staying away would drive the pervert away. Why she would go to such extremes is beyond me, though. Why not just block the person and go private? Why would you have to not use Facebook? That’s what I’d do anyway if I didn’t arrange to meet the person and tear them apart limb by limb.

Watched the parade with Bob and Virginia and finally learned what Bob did before he retired. I was surprised, too. I thought maybe he had been some kind of lawyer or something like that but he was in commercial construction.

Virginia raised 4 kids. Wow! Didn’t know they had that many. But that’s what women did back in her time. I am so, SO glad I wasn’t in my 20s in the 50s or 60s so I wouldn’t have to deal with being pressured to have any. Dealing with judgments and cutdowns for not driving due to my driving phobia and not working outside of the house due to a sleep disorder that’s totally out of my control was enough, but I eventually stopped dealing with it. Really, I won’t put up with that kind of shit. The older I get, the less tolerant I become. As soon as I hear any cracks about who or how I am, I’m gone! Yeah, nothing like accepting yourself as you are even if you don’t always like it while the rest of the world just can’t deal with it, LOL.

I should be up tonight for the fireworks at the lake. I’m not going to go down to the lake but I should be able to see some of them from outside.

After the parade, we ran out to Rite Aid where I got some shiny dangly earrings for the doll as well as a better set of toenails for her because they’re very sticky, don’t need to be glued on, and are a better size.

We also got some treats and I got a jar of polish remover.