Been smoke-free for 23 years now!

A middle-aged woman wrote about how her husband rejects her sexually and how she blames herself and feels alone and humiliated. I told her not to and that men with low appetites are not only more common than people realize but they don’t usually warn the woman up front. Instead, they make lame excuses as to why they say no to sex, and in her case, it’s so his son doesn’t find the sounds of them getting it on in the adjoining room to be “weird” like he did with his own parents. I’m sure there are other things as well and like I told her, not only is she not alone and not at fault, but he’s likely to never change. People are who they are sexually just like with personalities. She has to either love him enough to stay and take care of herself or leave the guy.

I still feel bad for her. Because the guy had to hold out and let his ego, embarrassment and pride or whatever get in the way, she has to be sexually deprived when she’s got another decade or so to go of horniness. It’s definitely frustrating and embarrassing to have to beg your partner to get some not that begging will always get you what you want or need. I totally understand her contemplating cutting him off sexually altogether as I often did with Tom, not that he’s going to miss her advances. But as she said, you can’t be rejected if you don’t ask for something to begin with.

Made baked tofu for the first time with soy sauce and olive oil which I seasoned to taste, and it was just okay. I felt it needed spinach, so I looked up spinach tofu recipes and found one that I’m going to try soon.

Looking forward to trying my triple-head toothbrush that’s coming Tuesday as well as the two jewelry kits we ordered. They’re $10 bracelet-making kits for kids but I figured that would be good to get started with and learn the ropes yet not be too much material to have to pack and move. One is a rainbow kit and the other is neon, both totally my kind of thing. Only one of the kits will be coming Tuesday. The other one will take six more days to get here because it’s not currently in stock.

We both went walking earlier but it was a bit warm, so we didn’t walk for too long. Besides, we hadn’t gone by the lake in quite a while so that’s where we went.

Really hope the fucking motorcycles don’t wake me up tomorrow and that there were only so many of them because it was Sunday. Not sure if they actually woke me up or I was waking up right at the time I happened to hear them but they’re going to be a regular part of the rest of my life so I may as well get used to them. Just hopefully not so damn close to the house in the next place. My appointment at the lab isn’t until 3:30, so the later I sleep, the less time I have to be hungry. Since I’ll be up quite late, I also have to remember to stop eating after 3 a.m. and guzzle lots of water before the appointment since it’ll help enlarge my microscopic veins.

Decided to deactivate my Krista Twitter account because I just don’t see myself having a convenient way to do voice tweets anytime soon.

Determined to get through the night with as little anxiety, worries and depression as possible. Something about the nights, as peaceful as they are, for the most part, can bring on some negative emotions. I’ve got to come up with some kind of fun game to keep me distracted because sometimes the things I usually do just aren’t enough. I miss some aspects of the old me. The one that didn’t feel this way. The one that had working hormones and could get horny and experience the fun of crushes and using those crushes as characters in stories. I’m slowly working on finishing my short story but it’s still not the same. I miss the days when I would eagerly look forward to seeing if I could catch someone like Nane or Maliheh online as phony as they both turned out to be. When things were new and exciting.

Hate to say it, but I’m not so sure dying sooner than expected would be entirely a bad thing. I mean what am I to do with myself for the next 20 years??? The same old, same old? Yeah, I guess so other than the days we’re not moving or vacationing which, of course, aren’t many at all.