I appreciate the fact that I have energy today even though I got the same good sleep score of 88 as I did yesterday but I’m tired of all these backaches! I don’t understand what’s bringing them on so often these days.

We went on a casual stroll late in the afternoon. Normally, I choose the route but this time I followed him. I was sure to wear my color-changing beads and it looked so cool going from boring to colorful in the sunlight.

Again we discussed various ways of traveling across the country, but also again, nothing is etched in stone. There simply isn’t any way to know what’s going to be going on next spring, especially where the virus is concerned. If we go by ground, the question will be whether or not we drive a U-Haul truck that pulls the car or drive an RV that pulls a U-Haul trailer. Obviously, we would sell the RV in Florida and get a new car.

If only I wasn’t so fucking cursed in the sleep department! Then we could just stay in the RV for a few months to make sure we’re both going to like Florida in the first place. But I might very well get even less sleep there than in a hotel. It doesn’t take much to move a vehicle, so just the slightest movement from him and it would wake me up. In a hotel, we would at least be on solid ground even if we had to deal with all kinds of door-slamming and whatever else.

I just worry about how many days it would take from house to house depending on how long we were in limbo before and after. It would take about 5 days to drive across but if we had to be out of here a few days before we left Cali and there was a delay getting into the place in Florida, that would definitely be a long time and I can only hold my schedule for so many days. I know all I would have to do for the most part would be to park my ass in the passenger seat since I don’t drive, but still. I wouldn’t want to finally meet my bestie if we did go by ground while trying to keep my eyes open. To make matters worse, we’d be jumping ahead in time, not back. I was telling Tom earlier that I wish I could jump back a time zone or two each day because then I would always be on days. I wish! I know I survived 8 months in the extended-stay hotel we were in when we came down from Oregon, but it was full of all kinds of sleep disturbances. I think I only survived because I was not only younger, but we didn’t have to deal with housekeepers every day. Just once a week. Or was it every other week? I don’t remember but I know they didn’t come around every single day which was a huge help. By air, by ground…I’m sure I’ll survive either way, rough on me or not.

I wish my parents weren’t on my mind as often as they sometimes are. I go back and forth between imagining impressing them with my cooking skills if they were visiting to wanting to throttle the shit out of my mother for the way she pawned me off on this one and pawn me off on that one because she didn’t like having me around or being a mother to me. Having an easier life and having the house all to herself and her husband was worth sending me places like summer camps despite how much she should have known I was more of an introvert who preferred to do her own thing in the comfort of home. Seriously, where did she ever get off thinking that I, at nine years of age, would find it “fun” to be sent to another state to live in a cabin with a bunch of strangers?

It shouldn’t bother me this late in life and perhaps it sounds silly but it still bothers me when I hear how proud mothers are of their kids while I remember how much she wished I could be like so and so. I used to really believe that all mothers thought their kids were the worst. It also bothers me to see how sad they are for their kids to fly the nest and go to college while mine couldn’t fucking wait to get rid of me. When camps and relatives were no longer enough, she finally resorted to the big leagues… Dumping me on the state of Massachusetts.

In happier news that’s definitely a lot more fun, Tom has a lot of plastic cases with multiple compartments in them like what most of the beads came in. He gave me one with just the right number of compartments and I could put the clay beads, which feel more like rubber, and various odds and ends like supplies that came with the jewelry kits into it. It’s awesome! Even ordered another one that I picked out for $7 which will be free because he had some credit accumulated.

The bugles, seeds, Europeans, and rocks came in their own compartmentalized cases. I just had to reinforce one of the compartments the Euro beads are in, though, because it was cracked. I taped both sides. There were several other things that came in bags, however, like my multicolored spacer beads which are stunningly gorgeous. These were the things that were good for the compartments.

I made myself a really colorful bangle with 11 different large European beads that came in a set of 100 fancy beads. Meaning they’re not all the same color or groups of colors but all different kinds of colors, patterns and designs instead. Glitter, gradient and much more. It’s a bit heavy and bulky but looks great. Designing bangles isn’t as easy as you would think but still lots of fun, nonetheless.

It’s getting down to 45 degrees tonight instead of 41 but that’s still cold enough. For now, I guess I’ll take advantage of this energy and do some more creating… and hope to soon put a smile on some people’s faces.