Today’s wake-up call (maybe one of these days I can get a break from something waking me up) was loud thunder but fortunately, it only kept me awake for about 20 minutes. Right now the wind is howling on this windy night.

Heard 1 low-flying helicopter yesterday but none today.

Although I didn’t read it because I’m already sick of hearing about abortion same as the race obsession (too much of anything gets old), I saw a couple of headlines that confirm exactly what I’ve both sensed and feared will eventually happen. It’s going to pave the way for other insane lawless laws to come into effect just as I fear, not that we ever had such a thing as free speech in this country.

I don’t see abortion becoming illegal nationwide but I do see it becoming illegal in about half of the states despite women being pushed to consider working to be the first and foremost number one thing in life the last few decades or so.

As much as I want to believe nothing will come to pass that will affect us directly that we can’t get around, I’ve learned never to say never. I’m sure many people never thought abortion would become illegal in one state let alone eventually half the country although I’ve sensed this coming and had this vision for many years for some reason.

It’s fucking ridiculous, though. It’s nothing that should ever be up for debate. Yet I see things getting worse and worse as far as backward, unfair, and overly harsh laws. Violent crimes will still get lenient sentences while the kiter practically gets executed. Things that are legal now will become illegal or at least drastically altered in some way.

It’s sad, sickening, and even scary but hopefully, those women who don’t find someone willing to abort despite the crazy “law” or self-abort will keep in mind that they’re not going to be pregnant forever and they don’t have to keep it, even though I’ve heard that having a kid changes you whether you keep it or not. After all, women had to face this shit long before there were doctors and medicine and it was even worse for them because they had no chance of finding an abortion doctor willing to help them because they didn’t exist.

Last night I had some anxiety although it wasn’t as bad as the night before. I was just thinking that I was going to make it through the night and be okay when it hit me. So much for getting excited about breaking records, huh? So I first decided no more 88s! But then I realized I might not have to go that far and so I’ll start by cutting back to two 88s a week. But then he had a great idea. Why not stick to the schedule as planned, but on a day I’m scheduled to take an 88, take a 75 if I had anxiety the previous day?

I finally heard back from the doctor’s nurse saying she tried to call me. Again, I don’t know why we have to play phone when things can be done online. I guess they got an alert because I didn’t respond to their message to me and that’s why she called when I was asleep. I told her about the new medication plan I want to try and asked what she thought of it.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way after all these years, but this kind of sleep disorder is SO fucking frustrating and debilitating! It really makes my life hard. So if there is a God up there, thanks. Thanks a real fucking lot. It’s nice to know you think I’m such a horrible person that I deserve this shit. As if other freaky/unusual shit you’ve thrown at me isn’t bad enough.

I am going to get to that barbecue, though. He signed us up today.

Still have some burning in my lip but I’m also still hopeful that it’s no big deal and will go away soon, whatever it is.

He screwed the vacuum holder into the kitchen wall so we can keep the portable vacuum and its attachments there. I almost love this cordless portable as much as Annie!

Ordered some magnetic clip-on frames that you can get in a variety of sizes and I’m going to try those on the two large portrait posters first before I get any for diamond paintings. It would be a much cheaper and easier alternative to traditional frames. Even cheap plastic frames are outrageously expensive and two of the four plastic frames we have are bent.