Traded in mountain lions for bears in my dreams. We bought some land somewhere and were out walking around on it when I spotted a bear. We quickly turned and hurried off to the house but I knew damn well it could catch us before we got there just like the mountain lion could.

Appointments, appointments, and more appointments! That's all I seem to have these days. I'm pretty overwhelmed with that right now. I'm a little tired today as well after a handful of days of good energy. This is how I'll probably be until the 16th, though, because my schedule is cutting it close for when I need to be up and available that day. Then I have to hope it jumps faster for my appointment on the 22nd with the dentist.

At about 8:30 yesterday morning, I called the office and let them know I'm having stinging where the bridge is and worried about it turning into a bad cavity that could ultimately result in needing a dental implant, which would cost even more money and more appointments.

She asked if I could come in at 11 yesterday and I knew that even though it would be a bit of a long day for me, I could make it. Crystal took x-rays of that area and while there don't appear to be any cavities, the root is exposed because the bridge isn't sealed properly. It's 11 years old now, and pretty much at the end of its life. Because it needs to be replaced on top of the fact that we're still paying off my last crown, the AC, and we're going to have to pay for surgery, Tom will likely have to return to work.

I know that while they don't give a shit if their customers blast music, they no longer allow them to have their phones available at work, which means we won't be able to keep in touch easily. If I'm right about most of the anxiety being on the medication, I should be okay as long as we don't tweak my dose. Being three years postmenopausal helps too. Besides, if he does have to go back to work, it doesn't need to be full-time, and it doesn't need to be more than a few months. Just long enough to catch us up.

Everyone else wants to get younger, but I can't stress just how much I wish I was 65! If I were, then the new bridge would cost us no more than $1500 instead of over 3K, and the upcoming gallbladder surgery would cost next to nothing. We'd have a little more money too because then I could collect retirement. I might collect at 62, though.

Right now, I feel like we're kinda stuck in that there's no hope of moving to a bigger place or of upgrading this one. At least we do have a steady income, even if it isn't much, and a place of our own. Last time we were broke, we didn't have that, and we were renting someone else's dumpy little trailer. So it isn't all bad. It’s a relief to know exactly what’s going on with the bridge and that the problem will be resolved soon. It’s also a relief to know that this and the gallbastard is going to be taken care of before I have the storm season to worry about fucking with my schedule and sleep. They say to always try to look on the bright side of negative things. So there you go.

So I meet with Helen later this morning, and then I have the endoscopy follow-up on the 16th. The bridge replacement is on the 22nd and the meeting with the surgeon is on the 27th. The bridge replacement will actually be a two-appointment procedure, of course, because after she cuts it off, she's going to put a temp on. About two weeks later, I go back to have the permanent one cemented on. Maybe this one will make it to my 70s!

The lady from the accounting department did say something discouraging. They were noticing my Color Street nails, and the girl said that the first and last time she used Color Street, they dried out her nails and she has a nail that keeps splitting, even though it's been over two years. My left middle finger has been splitting for a while now, but I suspect that's from the gel manicure I got at the salon. Color Street is basically the same thing, though, and not like regular stickers that I stick on and easily peel off. Once these go on, they're not coming off without acetone. I don't know what the technology is, but it's like an instant at-home gel manicure. They definitely dry out and damage the nails. They just look so damn good, though! I didn't have to put a top coat over them or anything and they’ve been on for 10 days. By now, regular stickers would be peeling back at the tips quite a bit. All you see is some regrowth.

I canceled my April appointment with the endocrinologist online citing that we need to find someone closer to home. I still say that seeing one isn't necessary. I know I'm sensitive to this medication and that there are no alternatives. I also still say it won't be a problem, as long as I keep the dose consistent. I'll find out as time goes on. If the anxiety returns without any change, then I'll seek out an endo closer to home. I'll just have to wait half a year to see them because they always seem to be pretty booked up.