Monday, October 14, 2024

I decided to give Chris a piece of my mind after all. When you delete a diary, you automatically get a confirmation email and it also asks why. I explained my reasons, and now he can take it or leave it. I'm officially done with his site for good.

I also decided to delete my story account on PB, along with a few blogs. Just trying to get things more organized. I’m still undecided about how often to update my PB journal—daily, weekly, or monthly. Privately owned platforms that make their own rules at will make me uneasy, so I’m leaning toward monthly updates and copying each month's entries from Blogger.

Walmart still isn't delivering until Friday. Tom’s going to run out to the store before the AC people arrive tomorrow. My schedule is, as usual, not good for this but at least I’m caught up on sleep and feeling relatively energized. I like the hum of the portable ACs, though it’s definitely more humid in here compared to the central air. The regular AC keeps it at about 50% humidity, but with these portable units, it’s between 60-70%.

Unsurprisingly, Tom hasn’t found any indication that my insurance plan covers mouthguards for sleep apnea. What’s the point of having insurance if it doesn’t cover important things? Now I’m faced with a decision—should I make an appointment with the pulmonologist and give CPAP another go, or wait and hope I get a new plan that covers mouthguards in a few months?

Toni made me laugh the other day. I shared a post about a potential storm brewing in the Atlantic. At this point, I cringe every time I hear about a possible storm. She told me not to worry every time something stirs up out in the ocean. I joked back that it was funny she said that because I was just thinking how she’s been like a mother, trying to keep me calm during the last storm.

I had a shitty dream last night—another one of the classics. Not the giant spiders that grow wings or the one where I lose my purse, but the one where the freeloaders return to haunt me. Somehow, they managed to get another six months on me. I don't know why or how they pulled it off, but instead of being taken straight to jail from court, I had a little time outside. While Tom was trying to reassure me everything would be okay, I was terrified, knowing it might very well be a death sentence with how long it takes to get your medication.

Sunday, October 13, 2024

This makes entry 10,000!

In less than a week, I’ve been ghosted by Kathy for no apparent reason, and Chris—someone I always thought was smart and had a great sense of humor—went completely unethical on me and then bit my head off for agreeing with him. I went over our exchange again and I must really be missing something, or maybe he's losing it, because I don’t see what set him off. I don't care, but at the same time, I'm naturally curious about understanding things. I’ve sensed for a while that he hasn’t been happy, so maybe his mental state is a factor. His writing was full of anger, but as I said, I do understand and agree with what he was saying. That’s why his lashing out at me came as such a shock.

Nonetheless, I am so sick of trying to figure out what makes people tick. You think you're intuitive and good with people, then realize you don’t know a damn thing. Fuck humanity! I'm totally not open to making new friends. Tracking blog visitors has become less reliable since more people are either hiding or appearing where they’re not. Still, while I appreciate anyone’s curiosity I’m not up for chatting unless you're someone I’m already friends with. I’ve disabled comments everywhere except for friends on LJ. I’m still on the fence about my PB accounts—should I continue as I have, make them private, friends-only, or just delete them altogether? I don’t want to regret it if I delete them, but I don’t think I’ll be using them much anymore. I’ll finish the bio and maybe the rest of the month, but I might start doing monthly updates instead and just drop in a whole month at a time.

I always thought I’d feel more comfortable on privately owned sites, but I don’t. I’d rather stick to ones run by big companies where the personal feelings and preferences of those in charge don’t get in the way. What Chris did was so messed up. He can go shove his crooked nose right up his ass.

We're finally getting lows in the 60s, and next week might even dip into the 50s. One downside to returning to the desert is dealing with hotter summers and colder winters, but it’ll be worth it. Still not sure if we’ll be able to pull it off, though. We’ve set a five-year deadline, and if we’re still here in 2030, this place will have been our longest stay. Tom will be in his early 70s then, and unless a hurricane demolishes it, we'll probably live out the rest of our lives here. Yes, I hate it when the snowbirds return, but I’ll at least enjoy it when they leave.

Walmart still isn’t delivering, so Tom went just before 7:00 a.m., and it was a nightmare. He said it felt like a zombie apocalypse—tons of cars lined up, the store jam-packed, and this was early morning. Half the shelves were empty, and it was chaos. He’d rather pay more and shop at Publix like a normal human being where it’s not a madhouse. He said there were only a few loaves of bread left, and they were torn.

His tinnitus has been acting up lately, but we’re not sure why.

I can't figure out why my bangs are growing so slowly. The rest of my hair is growing but my bangs are taking forever to grow out long enough to pull back.

I hope my crown getting ready to fall out again, because sometimes when I bite down, it feels a little funny.

I have what should be my final CVS order on its way, thanks to my free quarterly benefits. It’s just basic stuff like pain relievers and anti-itch cream.

I’m also getting another patterns coloring book. I think I like coloring patterns the most because there are no rules. Sure, anyone can color an apple any color they want, but it still feels weird to color one blue or purple. When I think of apples, I think red or green.

I love that Google Docs added tabs! Now instead of dumping a whole story into one long doc like Word, I can organize each chapter into its own tab—kind of like how Prosebox does books with multiple posts representing each chapter.

Lately, I’ve been trying to organize my files better. I’ve got notes and docs scattered all over—Outlook Notes, Google Docs, blogs, Word, etc.—so I’m grouping things to make them easier to find.

Lastly, I had AI make me a simple, dark silhouette of a female head to use on PB. I’ll keep it indefinitely since it doesn’t clash with the background.

Saturday, October 12, 2024

The Tammy/brood log & exchanges from a few years ago.

I have blocked my sister Tammy and all three nieces (Lisa, Becky and Sarah) on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Duolingo and Prosebox. I’ve also blocked Tammy's email and have her number blocked but blocking on my phone doesn’t work. It may only be successful in blocking restricted calls. Some of the calls did come from restricted numbers before I disabled that. The calls basically threaten legal action if my husband does not contact her by Sunday, December 1st.

11/23, 3 calls from Tammy, 1 from Sarah. Sarah “liked” a negative review of one of my books on Goodreads, even though she never read it.

11/24, A restricted messageless call likely from one of them.

11/25, A message from a bogus account Sarah created on FB before deactivating.

A message from Sarah on Pinterest to both my husband and I that I declined without reading so as not to give her the attention she craves. He did the same and then we both changed usernames and blocked her.

Tammy slammed one of my books with a negative review on Amazon in her own name which was deleted the next day.

11/27, 1 call from Tammy

11/28, Changed my number.


Well, Lisa, you certainly have the outer beauty as I can see in your work pic, but inner? I don’t know about that with the way you went ballistic on me in 2009 over something you could have kindly and civilly asked me about before you jumped to false conclusions and accusations. So yeah, I think it’s time to say a few things I’ve been wanting to get off my chest, and then you will never hear from me again, and I will continue not to hear from you.

Over a decade ago you really surprised and disappointed me when you turned on me, accusing me of lying to my parents about the date we connected of all things. I understand that bipolar people have intense mood swings and serious paranoia but as I said before, you could have asked me about it before you falsely accused me of a date I never even gave in the first place, rather than go crazy about something so mundane and trivial. After all, they were old and not thinking clearly. I told them we’d begun talking again but never gave a date because it was irrelevant.

I was wrong, however, to publicly air out my frustrations with you even though I didn’t use sensitive info or do anything illegal.

While I don’t like the person you turned out to be, I will admit that you pale in comparison to your twisted mother and sisters. The way they trolled, threatened, harassed, and stalked me because I dared to disagree with them was utterly appalling. I am embarrassed and ashamed to call them my sister/nieces and want nothing to do with them ever again.

I just think it’s a shame that you could never forgive the one who used to care about you and never did anything wrong to you but there you were on your cover photo when I went to block you on Facebook, happily dancing away with the very man you claimed abused you and drove you to the point of drinking, drugging, and eating disorders. But hey, that’s on you as the loss of me is on all of you.

Are you even aware of the fact that your own mother tried to recruit me and my husband to locate you when you were collecting workman’s comp? We wouldn’t get involved, of course, but she didn’t know where you worked at the time and wanted us to try to find out so she could turn you in for wearing heels with a bad back or some crap like that. Yeah, that’s what you’ve been doing all these years…preferring to stick with those who wouldn’t hesitate to throw you under the bus in a heartbeat if it could benefit them somehow or you dared to cross them in any way.

Anyway, that’s all I have to say. Good luck to you in life.


First, I’ll tell you (Tammy, Becky & Sarah) up front you’re not going to like what I have to say as is usually the case when your opinion differs from others, although it is NOT my intention to hurt, anger, or offend anyone.

First… You’re lucky I didn’t have you arrested for the threats. Amazon removed the vengeful “review” you left. Then I realized I would have to write in a pen name from now on because I knew you’d only pull the same crap again one day. AND have the Sarahsite, who isn’t even into reading any more than her siblings are, create another Goodreads account to harass me from. Meanwhile, thanks for the $0.40 you put in my pocket while you were bashing me in Reviewland in the name of revenge.

At the same time, you vindictive little trolls likely cost me hundreds in book sales till I could have the “review” removed and the name changed. Again, I could’ve gone to the cops but chose to be mature about it, leave the police to the serious crimes, and simply change pen names. That is unless I’m ever threatened again by you discombobulated fools, and I assure you I’m the fire you don’t want to play with unless you’ve got a thing for the uniform for I will contact the police in a heartbeat if you somehow manage to get any threats through to me that I actually see. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to disagree. It’s NOT okay to bully and threaten people.

Although I never heard the threatening VMs and only saw snippets of transcripts instead, I could have played the threatening voicemails you and Sarah left on Facebook or other places and done a number of things (I just would have been smart enough to keep it legal), but I chose not to waste my time with vengeful, immature behavior when there are more important and productive things to focus on. But do know that you WERE just one more threat away from us going to the police and sharing copies of your threatening VMs with them and proof of the online bullying had you not backed off when you did. Would you really want Norma to hear that crap, Tammy? Or Sarah’s vicious rant? Your behavior was truly frightening. For an atheist, I can’t thank God enough that we never moved to your town for I would have been genuinely afraid for my safety.

You guys left threatening voice messages and did other things that could have easily gotten you in some form of trouble. You threatened me at my home. You threatened my husband at his place of work. Don’t ever think that just because I don’t like the police with all the corruption out there this means I’m afraid of them. I’m not, and I’ll admit I was LOLing to myself knowing you were counting blackmailing me with this fear I don’t have. I hate spicy foods but that doesn’t mean I fear them. It’s just that I prefer not to hog law enforcement of their valuable time and resources on immature trolls who can’t simply agree to disagree even if they’re angry and move on unless my life is in danger. Murderers, rapists, child molesters… Those are the people the police should be focused on. Yet you have run to them every time someone pisses you off (or at least threatened to) for as long as I’ve known you. Well, you go to your beloved police with this if you must, and we’ll see if they violate my right to express myself in a legal, non-threatening way. If they do, then after I get done suing the crap out of them, I’ll make sure you’re held legally accountable for any wrongdoings on your part. Any law enforcement department that believes this message deserves the same attention a child predator should get definitely deserves to be made an example of. I mean half the world would be in trouble given all the “family feud” FB messages out there. Yet any idiot that can read can see I have crossed no legal lines. With the exception of a few packs of cigarettes I stole in my teens, prank phone calls in my 20s, and letting Bill have it for his abuse of Lisa (or supposed abuse), I haven’t broken any laws in decades, and I don’t see why I would ever want to.

If you really went to the cops, Tammy, when you tried to blackmail and threaten me with them for not returning your call, any decent cop would’ve told you to let them handle it (if you truly had a case), not go home and threaten, stalk, harass, bully and troll me. OR recruit your kids to go along with you for god’s sake.

You have threatened me, you have forced me to change my phone number, and you have also forced me to write under a pen name. So yeah, you wanna go to the cops with that, then go. Meanwhile, anything you send won’t get through to me as I’ve opted out of receiving Message Requests on FB, so I wouldn’t even know if you attempted to send anything. I now have a phone with great blocking power if you ever get ahold of my current number. I don’t have any of the email accounts I had when we were in touch. I have no interest in other forms of social media except for Twitter. If you get our address in the Algarve region of Portugal where we met up with a childhood friend and her husband right before covid flourished to retire (great weather, great food, low cost of living, I’m very familiar with Portuguese, though I don’t know if we’ll stay here forever), I never open postal mail I’m not expecting with all the scams out there. Having someone piggyback a message for you won’t work either as I’ve blocked every mutual connection we ever had. You already had your say and now I’m having mine and then we’re done forever as there won’t be anything more to say to each other after this.

It’s human nature to attack a person’s entire character (sometimes with made-up stuff) when a person gets mad at someone, but not me. I stick to the issue(s) at hand. And I don’t need to lower myself to the point of trolling and seeking revenge on them like an immature little high schooler. I’ve been there before and came to realize that this not only reflects poorly on myself but also, that cyberstalking really does have potential consequences and doesn’t accomplish anything anyway.

Again, I never actually listened to any of your threatening VMs, but I glanced at some transcripts. ONE voice message saying, “Hey, I didn’t like, agree with, or appreciate what you said,” would have been one thing, but to do what you guys did is another. A parent encouraging their kids to join them in bullying and making threats is absolutely appalling. Your behavior was completely unacceptable and disgusting. I don’t need that kind of toxic drama in my life. Neither does my husband.

I do appreciate your apology, as surprising as it was to receive since “I’m sorry” isn’t usually your thing, but the answer is “no” to reconnecting. I felt that rather than leave you hanging, I would at least acknowledge and answer that much. We’re just too different. Normally, I don’t make a habit of comparing myself to others and rarely feel inferior or superior to others. However, I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel a hell of a lot more mature and intelligent than you fools. You guys can’t even read or write! I tried to drop enough hints about not feeling comfortable with hearing about those I was no longer in touch with, Tammy, and you STILL didn’t get it till I finally had to finally spell it out for you. Why would I care or want to hear about what’s going on with people who don’t care about me? Because we’re related? Sorry, but that’s not enough for me. That’s like saying I should still respect my mother after all she did to me just because she was my mother. Or that a woman should take abuse from her husband simply because he’s her husband. Sure, I was curious from time to time but that didn’t mean I wanted to discuss them.

Regardless, I found you guys to be highly immature, emotional, sensitive, dramatic, not very bright, obdurate, and seriously narcissistic. I hate to sound cruel because, unlike you guys, I do have empathy and compassion. But you asked for my honest reply and now you have it.

You girls claimed you didn’t want to come between me and your mother but when all you did was whine and complain about what I chose to post on my own account (while you could post what you wanted) and then share posts I didn’t share with everyone in the first place, what do you expect? But it wasn’t all your fault. She’s just as responsible for our fallout as you girls are.

As for my record…I’ll try to explain this yet again, although I know you guys hear only what you want to hear and believe what you want to believe. The prank calls from the east were expunged from my record and I was vindicated in AZ, thanks to the corrupt cop involved that eventually got enough complaints lodged against him from others as well and was ultimately booted from the force. I don’t know who expunged the pranks but am guessing it was someone connected to Mom & Dad.

On top of this, I’ve simply caught you in way too many lies over the years… “I don’t have time to read books, one of my kids has breast cancer, I’m dying, Sarah’s going to be in the movies and magazines (you told me this in the 90s), I never hit my kids, I didn’t have anything to do with Bill calling the police, Jen cried that she didn’t want to lose me too when Larry’s son died, you sent adult material to the girls,” blah blah blah…

You didn’t buy Renting Ginny years ago. You read a copy I sent Mom & Dad. It would have been okay to tell me you just weren’t interested, you know. No author is everyone’s cup of tea. When you tried to slam me on Amazon, I realized you lied all along. You would always claim you “had no time for reading,” which I always thought was a bit odd since you were always an avid reader. But you proved you not only had KU, but you could have helped support me all along, even if you didn’t actually read much of the content. But hey, if you can lie about aiding and abetting your abuser in a legal vendetta, why not this too, right? And why would I want to associate with a chronic liar in the first place? Simply because we’re sisters? Well, you DID contact the police with Bill, you DID hit your kids, and had I (or anyone) really sent X-rated material to your kids, you would have been able to have the sender arrested, as it should be. Yeah, that’s another habit of yours, “sis.” You love to make up and throw in extras when you get pissed at someone for something.

You have misconstrued and misunderstood so many things that it has frustrated me to no end. I know that fibromyalgia does affect one’s learning ability and memory but sometimes I didn’t know if you guys were really that dense or you simply didn’t want to see the truth, but no one ever called Sarah fat and ugly. She read things in that weren’t there and twisted my words to be what she wanted them to be. As was often the case, you guys totally missed the point I was trying to make. I said I doubted she was single because of her weight. In other words, that wouldn’t deter people, but her vulgar, vile, threatening, immature, vindictive mean streak sure might. Everything’s about getting even with her but who do you suppose she learned that from? You, sister dearest, threatened to basically swat me and tell the cops I was dangerous to myself and others. Yeah, do that and see how much they care about your medical needs in prison, Tammy.

I am embarrassed for you all and ashamed to call you my sister/nieces. I told myself after mom died that you’d changed but now I realize that was just wishful thinking. I’m not the least bit proud of you girls but instead disgusted by your foul-mouthed, hate-filled, vengeful, immature behavior. You have no respect for older people whatsoever. I get mad at people at times too, but I don’t lower myself to stalk, troll, threaten and harass them when it’s much easier to simply ignore them. If I don’t like someone, I don’t have anything to do with them which is exactly what I’m going to do with you after I answer your questions. For me to keep going back and forth with you would send the wrong message…that I care what you think and want to reconnect when in fact I do not.

Just the fact that Etta threw Sarah out without warning tells me an awful lot right there regarding Sarah’s true personality. What aunt does this to her own niece unless she is truly terrified if not at least seriously uncomfortable with something she’s doing? She obviously feared for her safety if she did it without warning.

Then there’s the oh-no-it-was-the-other-way-around crap that got old. Meaning if you don’t like that I cut ties with you guys in the end, for example, why not say you dumped ME instead, right? Although Becky and Sarah did choose to dump me initially. The point is that you can’t rewrite history, folks.

It doesn’t matter, however, what you think, what you believe, or what you tell others. Tell the world I’m a psychotic ax murderer for all I care. I know what I have and haven’t said and done.

The day you slapped Lisa so hard that she fell off her feet when we lived with Mom and Dad was the day I should have resolved to never have a damn thing to do with you again once I got out of that house. Even that poor little dog you kicked the crap out of in the garage of the Texas house you stayed in when I was visiting was an obvious red flag of just how disturbed you were/are. But I was still naive and blind to your true colors. Too nice, too forgiving. It’s no wonder Lisa ended up so screwed up between yours and Bill’s abuse. I don’t like her and I would never have anything to do with her after the way she treated me in 2009, but I have always felt sorry for her. The way Bill slapped her around and the way he taunted her about her weight…and funny how you once expressed your hatred for Mexicans when we talked on the phone one day when I was in Phoenix since she’s half Mexican herself.

You don’t think I remember the bloody lips you’d give me as kids when mom and dad weren’t around or when we were pawned off on Ronnie and June? Yeah, “sis,” you’re just the kind of person I’m dying to associate with. That’s why one day when I went to block Lisa, I had a real WTF moment when I saw her happily dancing away with her abuser in her cover photo. Yeah, funny that she would forgive the guy who verbally, emotionally, and physically abused her to the point of drugs, drink, and bulimia but not the aunt she falsely accused of “lying” to our parents about when we started talking again. I used to save my letters to them. I double-checked and all I said was that we talked a bit but never gave a specific date because it was irrelevant. I still can’t believe one would go so ballistic over something so trivial but that’s beside the point. The point is that I have gone through a tremendous amount of pain, anxiety, and permanent emotional scarring due to things you (and other “family”) have done both directly and not. I’m sorry if my honesty hurts or angers you but again, that’s not my intention.

Guys, I focus on personality and behavior, not biology. If you don’t respect me and you treat me like dirt, I don’t associate with you, related or not. The only decent one in your family that I’ve ever met is Mark.

You asked for my forgiveness (so you can feel better) but I have a no-forgive rule that I adopted too late in life but adopted, nonetheless. It’s a hard rule of mine, too. I don’t do do-overs but I have read and accepted the apology. Even so, you guys need to forget I ever existed after you read this. Sarah did say I was dead to her, after all. So I’ll return to the Land of the Dead after this and we can all get on with our lives. I believe I did the right thing by cutting ties with all of you in the end and I feel no remorse, regret, or guilt for it either. Ah, but I know you guys. You’ll go ballistic over this message as you did the one I sent years ago. But this will be it from me forever. You can rest assured of that much.

Sarah, you said I needed to “stop” where your dad was concerned but sorry, my opinion still stands. Dying of cancer may be a horrible thing and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone (I lost my bestie last May to cancer), but I still think he should have been arrested, tried, and convicted of child abuse, not to mention the fact that he was a cheater. Hell, the guy even eyed ME suggestively one time when he and your mother returned a little tipsy from a party one night after I had been babysitting you spoiled little…well, I won’t say.

LOL, at you calling me “tough,” Tam. I’d do what I could to defend myself if need be but I’m no more or less tough than anyone else. My not answering the phone had nothing to do with toughness or “balls” as you put it but everything to do with not giving you the negative attention you craved. You know, as in not feeding the trolls. It’s Sarah who thinks she can take anything shorter than her and doesn’t seem to realize that sometimes being in shape matters. But could the girls take me on? Well, of course they could. I didn’t make the comment while we were at the Flamingo diner about feeling safer walking down a dark alley with them in tow because I thought it would make me rich. But I think it’s pretty safe to say that I could outrun all 3 of you any day, not that any of this matters. The point is that if being unwilling to take people’s crap makes me “tough,” then go me!

Love the part where you said something about not calling if we’re broke. Says the person who couldn’t even afford a $50 Alexa? And whose husband didn’t quite retire at 62 as mine did? Um…okay.

Years ago I spotted some posts of Sarah’s bashing Lisa, and then you, Tammy, took Sarah’s side. Whether or not Lisa was wrong, I think it was utterly abominable that you would side with and pit your kids against each other which is exactly what our mother did with us. I hope to hell none of your offspring ever reproduce for the sake of those poor kids and the awful examples they’d no doubt set in which you taught them. But with one not wanting kids, one a lesbian, and one infertile, I guess there are no worries there.

Also, what kind of mother tries to enlist her sister and BIL to find her daughter’s place of work so she can “get” her for receiving workman’s comp for a bad back while wearing heels or some crap like that as you claimed about a decade ago? It was all about you seeking revenge on Lisa because you were pissed at her. Nothing more, nothing less. Yeah, Becky and Sarah, you get on your mother’s bad side and see how fast she throws YOU under the bus too. I’ve known her a lot longer than you have and I know what she’s capable of.

Also LOLing over Doe and I being “alike” as you claim, Sarah. Yeah, because that lunabitch would have been quick to keep pet rats, paint her walls Pepto pink, study half a dozen languages, listen to rap music, and write 50 books. Speaking of books, someone suggested I throw you guys in a story and have all kinds of fun things happen to you. Brilliant idea!

And which one is the ultimate grand prize winner? Well, that would be you thinking you could threaten and blackmail us into calling you so you wouldn’t call the cops. We don’t know if you did go to them and we don’t care one way or another, but we did know you never had a case above and beyond the typical garden-variety Facebook family disagreement. Meanwhile, I really hope you guys get the counseling you so obviously could benefit from, especially you, Tammy. There’s got to be some reason for your long history of over-the-top, off-the-charts reactions when someone says something you don’t like/agree with. The histrionics, the exaggerations, the jealousy, the lies, the hypochondriac, the intense need to hurt others you perceive as having slighted you…

I could kick myself for not heeding the warnings of those who advised against me having anything to do with you guys, but I don’t hate any of you. If anything, I’m rather indifferent and numb at this point. Once I hit ‘send’ you guys are no different than strangers in another state or country as far as I’m concerned.

I understand you guys have a genuine problem with anger and narcissism and that in extreme cases it is considered a mental disorder. I have done extensive reading on it to understand more about what makes you guys tick (and others like you) and you guys have the classic symptoms from acting like you’re better than everyone to refusing to take responsibility for your own actions to lashing out at those you believe cross you to recruiting others to help you bully them and so on and so forth. The millions of Sarah selfies used as bait to fish for compliments to help her self-esteem is one of the classic signs any idiot can see.

Please consider getting help, guys. There are many counselors who will provide affordable group therapy for families as well as individuals. I hope for your sake you will one day recognize the error of your ways and the mental/emotional problems you have but if you don’t, that’s on you. You’re the only one who can help yourselves.

This is from an article on narcissism and you can google it for verification: “Any evidence presented, and those that present it will be attacked aggressively and vindictively. The better the evidence the more aggressive the attack. Individuals who are doing the right thing by reporting criminal acts, unethical behavior, or failings are to be discredited, humiliated, hounded and bullied—not even their families are to be spared if need be. The narcissist will engage supporters or enablers to simultaneously attack those who offer proof or evidence, even if it embarrassingly exposes their poodle-like behavior as that of spineless sycophants.”

I get that you’re never going to get or agree with anything I say. You’re the kind that could rob a bank and deny it for the rest of your lives, insist you did nothing wrong, and blame others for your actions. You can do no wrong, you’re perfect, and everything is always everyone else’s fault.

Sarah, you said I will “never speak about your father again, I’ve been obsessed with him, it needs to stop today, I need to get over it, the past is the past.”

You don’t “get over” someone who had a major hand in costing you your freedom and thousands of dollars even if he wasn’t aware of the full extent of the consequences of his actions and retaliation. At least I don’t. You gonna tell a rape victim to “get over” their rapist? I’ve forgiven many people for many different things, but everyone has their limits and he and a few others are definitely where I draw the line.

In response to the first transcript I saw, even though it was broken and riddled with errors… In the first one, you Tammy basically cussed me out, called me names, and told me that what I supposedly said to the girls was unforgivable…”I don’t know what lies you’re telling Tom, but I will reach him......you’re dead…watch out…beware…if you reach out to the girls one more time… behind bars…I know where you live…I know where Tom works…I’m going to come after you with my girls…we aren’t stopping…we can play your games a lot more than you give us credit for…I’ve done nothing to you…you’ve destroyed anything we ever had.”

Okay, let’s start with Tom. I don’t get that one. Why do you want to talk to him if it’s ME you’re pissed at? Why do you care what he thinks and what do you think he’s going to do? Tell you that you have a horrible sister and will make sure I behave from now on? You did this back in Maricopa, defending your (supposed) abuser and threatening BS charges, along with telling him about Valleyhead as if he didn’t know and as if that would change anything either way. Bottom line… He’s not on your side.

“We can play your games a lot more than you give us credit for.”

Just what “game” is it you thought I was playing? I told you I was walking away from you guys and I told you why. I don’t see the “game” in that.

“I’ve done nothing to you.”

I know that’s what you all think and that’s what’s scary; that you’re just not smart or capable enough to see your own faults no matter how in your faces those faults may be, take responsibility, and hold yourselves accountable for them.

“You could have had three nieces.”

No, I couldn’t because Lisa could only “move on” if I apologized for some idiotic thing I knew nothing about, and the other two ghosted me for trying to gently steer them onto a more positive path in life rather than dwell on death and other negativity while having the nerve to call me out on my own posts and share them with those I didn’t make visible to them in the first place. Oh, and because of letters I supposedly sent their mother in the 90s complaining of the way I was being treated. Numerous times I tried to interact with the girls when we were connected on Facebook but they didn’t exactly return the love. I never expected them to keep in touch every day considering the distance and age difference but weeks, and sometimes months, would pass without contact from them no matter what I did. So no, I couldn’t have had three nieces because eventually, you do stop caring about those who don’t care about you.

But YOU could have had an Alexa, a MacBook Air, a Roomba, a couple of smartphones, and a pressure cooker!

The third call came from a restricted number with no transcript that I think was from Sarah, was broken up so she wasted her breath other than the few words I caught which were the F-word and “my father.”

Yeah, Sarah, eff your father. rolls eyes

Then my wonderful, sweet niece got to waste her time with another digital rant I never saw one word of on Pinterest as I blocked you guys there as well. Tom did the same. It’s set up where you have to either accept or decline messages, and we declined on both accounts. You don’t even have to see what you don’t want to see, and we didn’t.

Tammy’s final voice message transcript - she’s gone to the police in her town which will contact the police in my town and I have until next Sunday to have Tom contact her, especially with what they “found out about two and a half hours ago.” She said that if she doesn’t hear from Tom, the police will be contacted with the girls on Monday, and something about it being no problem with my record.

Last time…I don’t have a record. If I had a record, I couldn’t have lived where I lived in Oregon, at Jesse’s place in Auburn, the park in Cali, or here, as they all do background checks.

When Tom said he thought I should have walked away in 2000 or even sooner since I’d already seen how you can be, I asked him why he didn’t try to discourage me from reconnecting with you a decade ago. He said it was because the decision had to be mine. Well, there’s absolutely no chance of me ever allowing you guys back into my life! I feel like such an idiot for bothering with you! I really do. You were so mean to me so many times growing up, I sent you hundreds of dollars when I was dancing because you were in a ton of debt, then you defend the guy that abused you and one of your kids, and ultimately, however indirectly it may have been, cost me 6 months of my freedom, even more money, and ugh! Just ugh. So what if you’re vindicated when it’s half a year and thousands of dollars too late? And why was I so damn nice and forgiving simply because we shared the same womb and the same witch of a mother and enabling father? Letting you back into my life was almost as dumb as the trail of threats, stalking and harassment you all left.

Onto Sarah’s message, and again, I never check Message Requests anymore. Haven’t in over a year now. So create all the bogus accounts and consider them just a means to vent. I won’t even know they’re there. But when I used to check, she said…

“ok I understand you have a mental illness and that you are just like your mother. The things you said about me does not hurt or bother me. Yes I’m fat and so aren’t you. I have issues losing weight but I will continue until I get it right. I still have boys who love me for who I am. I just have trust issues hence my last relationship and look at my family. Mostly you and your mother who caused damage. Hey there that saying mother like daughter. That’s you!”

Blog journal excerpts: If it didn’t bother her, she wouldn’t have contacted me. Plus, it’s “so ARE you.” Don’t know what her regular eating habits are like, but as with me and most people, it’s likely not her fault she’s heavy. It’s the world we live in these days. She and I will likely always be overweight unless there’s a breakthrough someday and I believe there will be. But again, size doesn’t define us; our behavior and personalities do.

Yeah, “boys” who love her but not men, right? And yeah, everyone she gets pissed at is automatically mentally ill, right?

So it’s me and my mother who caused her so much “damage” that she can’t hold a relationship? LOL, that’s a great one.

As for ‘like mother like daughter’ which I believe she’s trying to say…SMH Like a 300-pound person telling a 100-pound person they’re fat. It’s like, hello, Sarah! But then if anyone were to point out how similar she is to her own mother she’d only take it as a compliment. I’m sure she’s proud to be the same idiotic vengeful backstabber her mother is. She and her mother, along with her sisters, will always try to turn the tables and turn things around to make it look like they’re the victims and everyone else is wrong. Anyone who dares to confront them as I did automatically has a mental illness and they absolutely must be having a breakdown, too. I mean, what else could it be, right? Bottom line…I will never again be anyone’s victim of revenge.

“$80 gift basket lol wow. You don’t even remember telling me go ahead have some too. Enjoy you been taking good care of your sister? Of course not. Your going crazy over a $80 gift basket that you should of never sent someone with broken jaw. I would say give me your address I will send you $80 but we all know you wont.”

Of course I expected others to have some of the gift basket, but not most of it like her mother said was the case. If her mother knew how to write properly, I would have known Becky had a broken jaw beforehand and I would have sent flowers instead. Plus, it’s “should have,” you ignominious silly rabbit!

“Its ashame Tom settled for you, because he could of done better then you. He doesnt need this in his life. Just like we never need you. When people ask me do I have any aunts. I say my dad sister we don’t talk much. And my mom side she dead. Nobody knows about you. So you saying my aunts both don’t want me, well what aunts? I only have one and we might of had our differences but she was there for me when I need her during Becky car accident. So I’m ok. You were dead to me like your mother was already dead to me. It’s so funny I remember you telling me how beautiful I am. Asking for hair tips. Now I’m ugly and fat lol”

Gee, that really hurts that people I don’t even know don’t know about me. :(

I never said she was ugly or fat. I said I doubted she was single because of her weight, but she missed the point I was trying to make and twisted my words. She does have a beautiful face and I did ask for hair tips, but beauty is only skin deep. If you treat me like sh*t, it doesn’t matter what your face looks like, it doesn’t matter what your hair looks like, and it doesn’t matter what your size is either. Or if you’re related to me.

“Jodi I wish you nothing but the very best. You have no family and that sad but hey you caused it. I hope that your honest with Tom about your latest mental outbreak and have him help you get the help you need. So that you don’t end up in jail or have to move because you harrassment of people is getting you in trouble. The best of luck and I hope you have a great life! Don’t ever contact me again. There is no chance of you ever coming back into my life.”

Oh, but you’re wrong. I have all the family I need in my husband and friends.

If no longer pretending I’m okay with something and sharing my honest thoughts, feelings and opinions are what defines a “mental outbreak,” then going mental is a great thing, LOL. And if that counts as “harassment” while threatening voice messages and online trolling supposedly don’t, then wow.

Wait. “Have to move?” blinks with confusion Just what is it she’s babbling about now? Have to move? We’ve never HAD to move. We moved because we chose to, although the company he worked for in Stanfield did go under and we did lose our house there. But I’ve never had a problem with any of our post-Phoenix neighbors even if some have been annoying at times.

“There is no chance of you ever coming back into my life.”

Gee, that hurts. Let’s flatter ourselves with thinking I’d ever want that anyway.

Bottom line: I didn’t lose you people. I FREED myself of you and the regular drama.

The last of the threats from Tammy…

“jody I’m telling you don’t think I am just blowing smoke up my […] I don’t hear from tom by Sunday you’ll be hearing from your local police department because I’ve already contacted them and asked them questions through our police department meeting with myself and Becky and Sarah and getting a statement over the phone from Lisa. So you see I’m not screwing around. I want tom to know exactly what’s happened once again instead of your dirty outright letter sent to children that I read I never thought you would send them letters of that magnitude I wouldn’t given it to them but now you’re into the tax while your record that they already have. This is going to be a piece of cake. So don’t think I’m screwing around. I either speak with tom. You want to be on the phone that’s fine but you will allow us to talk.”

Oh, how sweet of you to give me “permission” to be on the phone too. Like I’m going to let you and your pesky offspring live rent-free in my head, able to intimidate me with whatever threats you choose to make. NOT! But hey, you guys are tough, right? So then you can handle my response and me being gone forever once I send this.

Tammy, I’m pretty sure you once said that you would call the police if I contacted your daughters ever again. Wow, imagine a world where cops arrested people for calling grown, independent adults upon request!

One more thing…you said Lisa gave a statement via phone to the cops… Out of curiosity, since I had my doubts, I looked up whether or not a statement can legally be given by phone and that’s almost never done. Occasionally they’ll do video statements but that’s usually only for minors in sexual abuse cases. Not a grown woman I haven’t had any contact with since 2009 with the exception of replying to her as well since you asked me to. So Lisa’s so-called phone statement was yet another lie. In the past or maybe even in the future, you guys may be richer than me, stronger than me, prettier than me… But smarter? And OMG, please get your homonyms straight and learn the difference between there, they’re and their as well as are and our!

Goodbye, ladies

Friday, October 11, 2024

Last Night:

I’ve had time to reflect, and let’s just forget New Mexico. Owning land, having some breathing room around us, and a nice new house without the motorcycles and constant planes near someone I know—without being a planet away from civilization—is a nice fantasy, but that’s all it is. Why take unnecessary risks when we know life rarely goes as planned? We’d only end up stuck with delays that would take much longer to escape than anticipated. Too many unforeseen events could set us back.

It would have been nice to pay only a small property tax fee, but it’s just a fun dream at best. We’re never going to have the money, and between that and my health, our lives are pretty much what the rest of it is going to be. Money may not be everything, but the less you have, the fewer options you have.

I love the country, but I was meant to be a city girl. Why not embrace my fate and make the best of it? Someday, if we ever get ahead, we can carry on with the plans we had here. The ones we can afford anyway as neither of us could work.

There’s no need to worry about hurricanes or tornadoes destroying this place because, as Tom said, it has stood for over 30 years. So why not another 15-20 years? Besides, I’ve lived in enough places to know that no place is perfect and I’m going to have sleeping issues no matter where we go. Instead of the summer storms here, I’d have monsoon storms there. Instead of anything that could wake me up here, there’d be sonic booms there. Instead of planes, there’d be more barking, even if it wasn’t as close as it can get to us here. There would be less threat from natural disasters but we’d have hotter summers and colder winters.

I still want to try for that mouthguard, but I’m just not as healthy as I was in 1999 to take on any big and risky adventures.

It would have been nice to live in a state with doctor-assisted suicide if one of us were diagnosed with deadly cancer, but if one or both of us ever get that desperate, there are other options.

Today:

He found some cheap land in California. The only problem is that it’s near a military base. Those are going to be a problem almost everywhere. There’s no dodging them in rural areas. The biggest concern is that we don’t want to be more than about a half-hour away from urgent care, labs, and things like that given my health and our age.

Personally, I don’t see how we can make it work. This is far from the worst place to spend the rest of our lives, but it would be nice to eventually have more options. Money may not be everything, but it’s almost everything. So much depends on whether or not you have enough of it.

For now, I’m going to have to deal with the honker annoying me and be glad he’s not here full-time. I don’t notice him much every day. I’ll need to put fans or something on if I don’t want to hear the planes on days when they’re more noticeable. Then, I’ll just have to manage the stress of future hurricanes and hope we don’t get hit any harder than we have been.

I got another alert on my phone, and I thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” But all it said was to watch out for flooding in low-lying areas.

Still missing my pre-2014 mind and body—the one whose thyroid functioned on its own and didn’t come with these funky emotions at times. I miss being able to see clearly, not being so big, and being in better shape. I hate to say it, but as shitty as they could be, a part of me misses having his family in town and mine just a phone call away. They were toxic in their own ways, but they were there.

The pill cuts and shitty eating during the storm caused my weight to jump by 3 lbs.

I only slept for 5.5 hours today, so I took a nap. During the nap, I dreamed we were in our last house and Tom was sitting in the laundry room at the built-in desk while Dr. Ostrander—who was alive again—put ear drops in his ear. I went to open the front door to let the fresh air in, and right away, that damn power saw across the street started up that used to drive me crazy.

Saw the movie See for Me. That would be a wild way to make money—hop on the dark web, get fake IDs, offer to cat or dog sit for the wealthy, and then rip them off while they’re away. Sounds simple, but of course, it’s not. I’d be terrified of getting caught and afraid of karma if I didn’t.

The $35 a month raise from Social Security is such an insult considering how much this country gives away to other nations. Tom pointed out that it will cover the $27 increase in space rent, but it’s still a joke. Seriously, what can most people do with an extra $35 these days?

Election Day is creeping closer, and I can’t wrap my head around the men who support a misogynistic criminal like Trump. But even worse, I worry about the women who’d vote for someone who wants to restrict their rights and freedoms. Still, it’s their vote, and they’ll have to live with the outcome.

Fuck Buddy was walking around the honker’s place today and peeking into the lanai. I guess she was checking for damage. When Tom was out donating today (I was surprised the place was even open), he mentioned there was more damage than he realized—signs and fences thrown all over the place.

I’m dreading the honker’s return, especially because I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep through the damn motorcycle with the new bedroom setup. It’s so wrong that someone can come to my country and disrupt my peace like this. A part of me wishes he’d sell his place and move in with his fuck buddy, but I doubt that’ll happen. They just started dating, and the fact that he was still single into his 60s says a lot. Either he can’t keep a relationship, or women keep dumping him. I don’t know the guy, but he comes off as insensitive and aggressive.

I also unfriended Kathy. If something were wrong, she’s had plenty of time to reach out, and she hasn’t. Remember? No more reaching out to those who don’t reach out to me. I can’t access either of her accounts now, so I guess Facebook has features I didn’t realize. Apparently, you can now block someone from viewing your profile without actually blocking them.

My memory issues are getting frustrating—and, at times, a little worrying. I’m sure most of it is from my sleep disorder.

Tom and I were reminiscing about how technology has evolved over the years. In the early 2000s, I would’ve hated to go back to 80s tech. Now? I’d hate to go back to 2014! Back then, Alexa didn’t exist, let alone all these smart devices. Speech-to-text wasn’t nearly as good, and Grammarly wasn’t around either. Everything had to be typed manually with only a basic spell checker that had little to no concept of grammar.