Yesterday was a shitty day, but it ended up better. I kind of woke up on the wrong side of the bed cuz of not taking my meds, and I got my period, but what really brought me to the boiling point was my father. He must’ve been in a bad mood himself. I don’t know. I just can’t stand his attitude at times. He’s gonna be 58 on April 5th. He’s getting old.

Then Linda came over and calmed me down and cheered me up at the same time. I had taken my pills before she came over.

I’m surprised Tammy hasn’t called to see how I am since I moved. I mean, with all the times I’ve called her she should be considerate enough to see how I am here. She never really called that much on Oswego St., either. I’m the one that always did the calling.

Bruce came over at midnight last night and we had a fairly nice talk, then cuddled in bed and had sex. He was very respectful, gentle and sensitive and after trying little by little I could take him inside me. It hurt a little and it didn’t excite me, but I did enjoy the experience somewhat. I know I can’t be pregnant cuz I started my period today while I was on the phone making calls with Andy.

However, Bruce feels he can’t handle me as his girlfriend, saying he doesn’t admire me cuz of my attitude and my needing to change more. I feel like all my life I’ll be “needing to change,” but he says he really cares and that I’m a good person and will be my friend. He also says I’m not too thin and am attractive with a nice body. I put on makeup for him for the first time.

Al and Jessie were gonna come over earlier, but Bruce and Linda were here instead, and Al got home late and needed to go food shopping. We all talked the other night on the phone and we had a really good talk. I’ll never forget, though, how much Al sucks in bed. He’s after Jessie now. She can have him!

No matter what, I still prefer a woman. Bruce isn’t ugly, and no, he’s not the typical male, but I want a female. I even asked Andy and he agrees. He says I’m definitely gay and there’s no way I could be straight. There is no way for sure that I could be sexually attracted to a man the way I have been to a woman.

Today I’m going grocery shopping and I’m also gonna finish my laundry.

I almost forgot to say that Andy and I had a hell of a time on the phone early this morning around 2:30 or so. We got some really funny names to rank on.

Someone swiped my green pen and that pisses me off cuz I like to write in different colors.

I left a message for the sicko to call at about 1:30 this afternoon, but he never did cuz he probably never went back to the deli afterward, so I hope to hell he calls today so I can get him all nervous and find out why he lied about paying Sasha’s vet bill. I knew the music book was a lie, too. Very typical of him when he can’t get constant attention and his hand held every day. It’s his way of seeking revenge. It’s so humorous, though.

Later...

I just called the Forest Park Grill and left a message for Nervous. We’ll soon see if he calls me. I’m also gonna bring up his spying. That’ll shock the shit out of him and he probably won’t be too happy that I caught him and know about it.

Later...

I found my green pen lying on the floor by the kitchen windows.

I just saw that bitch Rita come out of her car to go into her apartment. I felt like yelling something out to her but didn’t want the other neighbors to hear. I’ll only strike up a storm if she does.

If Nervo doesn’t call by 8:00, I’m gonna start my laundry, then go food shopping. I’ll first find out if Jessie needs to go and if we can do it together. I’ll probably just have to go myself.

Linda says I write funny which is true cuz I write so many different ways. I guess it goes according to my mood.

I hope that if Nervous calls, he’ll be in his nervous mood, and he usually is in the daytime, for some reason. I really want to get him going. It is so hysterically funny!

I forgot to get stamps last time I was at Shopper’s Drug. Next time I’ll get them, and I’ve got to get Dad a birthday card.

I wonder what happened to my period. It just stopped, but I guess I’m not surprised cuz I have such a screwy cycle.

Sasha just got up on the bed with this look on her face saying, “Why are you so busy writing? I want to cuddle.” She’s used to doing that at this time of morning anyway.