Well, well. Grandpa Rod and Grandma Arlene have sent their granddaughter a birthday card from Springfield, Oregon with a crisp new $20 bill! Thanks, Gramps and Granny!

Then there’s also the $20 Tom won yesterday on a scratch ticket before he twisted his knee on his way to do the laundry. He didn’t actually fall down, but he started to slip and wrenched his knee while he was at it. It’s sore, but he’s still able to get around.

Not surprisingly, we still haven’t screwed. We have to “build up to it,” he says, but again, I’m just not so sure I want to. I love it when we lie in bed and chat or read together, and his backrubs feel wonderful, but I just don’t have the desire to have any kind of sex with him. I still have mixed emotions about his not cumming, too. While it would be nice of him to allow himself to do so every so often to be a little more “normal,” so to speak and to make me feel better for the same reasons anyone would feel better if they knew they made their partner feel good enough to cum, I don’t want the mess. Plus, it’s our ticket out of having to use birth control, no matter how sterile I may be.

I was having a hard time motivating myself to work out since I’ve been 122 for several weeks now, but I finally got myself to do so, reminding myself that it’s important to do it to stay fit and to keep from gaining the weight back.

I had a video card failure yesterday and Tom opened my computer to find it filthy. Not just with dust, but with sticky residue from the damn incense. After he cleaned the card, all was fine.

In spite of the snow and slush, we went out for pizza yesterday. It was a bit of a zoo, but it was nice to get out and the pizza was good, as always. His was pepperoni, mine was mushroom with black olives.

We peered in through the living room window of the house next door. I’m going back and forth between wanting that house so bad, to thinking it’d be best just to stay put. Even Tom’s tempted to just stay here till we can no longer stand it due to the lack of space (or if it gets noisy), but we both agreed to keep our eyes open. If the price is right and the house isn’t on top of someone’s yard or driveway, we just may go for it. The biggest reason we may stay put is for obvious reasons – money. From June through August when we don’t have to run the heat, I could have $400 each month for fun! That’d easily get the rest of the Tonners and Barbies on my list. Easily! This would leave tons of room for other goodies like the 2nd and 3rd seasons of Charlie’s Angels, desks, dining tables, a washer, a dryer, other dolls, more oils, and even a year of Harry & David’s Collection Favorites. For $300, I was thinking of signing on to get monthly treats delivered to our door for one year, most of which Tom wouldn’t care for, though he agrees it’d be a good deal for that price. The treats would mainly consist of fruits, chocolate and nuts. The only month I wouldn’t like would be January’s oranges. I asked if they could substitute that with honey mangos, but those are only available in May and June, so maybe they can give me peaches instead.

Next week we’re ordering a new cage. I’m sick of these oversized cages, one of which is easily escapable being a ferret cage. She got out a few days ago and was all over the place. It would’ve been fine had the little devil not dug up and flung dirt all over from the plants! This cage will be smaller, so it will be easier to clean and hide if the handyman ever had to come in here. The bars are also spaced closer together. It’s 18x11x24.

I totally believe without a doubt that we really do get punished for trying to change the way we are, even if it’s not exactly us trying to make the changes. First I get punished for them building me a half-assed ear frame in ’75 when I was 10, by causing me to have the problems with the frame that led me to the surgery I had when I was 30 and living in Phoenix where they removed the damn thing. Now I’m being punished because they built the canal while they were at it. I want to reach in and yank this eardrum out so badly! Adjusting the headphones had made quite a difference, but the last two days have been bad. Of course it’s also quite a coincidence that after I go and have braces to straighten my teeth they all start getting cavities like crazy. If I woke up tomorrow suddenly insured and richer than we are now and wanting a kid as bad as I used to, I would never have Invitro! Never in a million years. I used to think such procedures were okay or else whatever’s up there wouldn’t have given us the ability to do them in the first place, but maybe they’re not so okay after all. Or at least not for everyone.

I can no longer read without glasses, which sucks, but would I ever have any kind of corrective surgery? First of all, I wouldn’t have the guts to have them slice and dice my eyeballs, but if I did – no way!

Anyway, the house next door seems nice enough for its age, but the layout isn’t the greatest. The downstairs bedrooms are directly off of the living room, and the bathroom is like this one where you have to go through the bedrooms to get to it. The carpet’s a dull beige color, but it would hide lint better than this carpet. The worst thing was the huge single-paned windows. How asinine to have such a thing! You’d lose a lot of heat that way. It was so big that I was like, gee, why don’t you just make the whole wall of glass! The windows didn’t even appear to have any screens either.

It had its pros as well. I got the impression it may be cooler in the summer, and of course the biggest thing of all is that no one’s yard or driveway runs right up to it.

I just wish I could know how long we’ll be in Oregon, as well as how long she’ll live next door, what will move in if she moves out soon, what will move in next door if we don’t move in there, etc. These things would influence what we decide. I could stand to stay here a few years, but wouldn’t want to spend a decade here as cheap as this place is to heat and what with the rent being $450 and not $800.

I went out to shovel and noticed a rather disturbing sight; a light blue car parked behind the chick next door. The amount of snow on it suggests it stayed there overnight, along with the time. Meaning that it hasn’t moved yet. She’s no morning person over there, so she wouldn’t be getting up till right around now anyway.

Last night the bedroom got rather bright as I was settling in for the night. I could tell there was something parked right outside the front bedroom window, whereas the chick usually parks by the back bedroom window. When I looked out I saw a car backing out. I thought it was visitors leaving. Then I saw someone come in and I thought it was her, but it must’ve been the visitors, and the reason their lights were on for several minutes the first time around must’ve been because they were unloading things. Whoever it is, I hope they don’t stay long. I haven’t heard anything yet, but I hear one car’s doors and that’s enough. I don’t need to listen to two. I don’t see how the hell two people could live in something no bigger than a single-car garage anyway. I’m going to hope and assume it’s an out-of-town visitor. I’ve never seen this car before and I’ve always suspected her family may not live around here because small place or not, she rarely has visitors. I’m just glad they’re not connected to us!

It fucking figures! I shovel and it starts to snow.

I won an $8 pedometer radio and got a letter via FedEx saying I won a DVD. What’s strange is that they not only want me to fill out an affidavit for it, they want it notarized! Why would they do that for a lousy DVD?

Later…

The blue car left at 11:30. A young cock was driving, too young and all wrong looking to be a boyfriend as skinny as he was. Her boyfriend’s fat like she is and drives a gold car, as far as I know. Skinny guys typically don’t go for big chicks anyway.

Two hours later, she slammed the door to her place on her way out, then her car doors twice (I could see she put something in the back seat like maybe laundry), then she was gone. After all this time I’d say for sure that she’s not working. She goes out in the late morning to early afternoon for a couple of hours, then she stays in till late at night. I assume she’s running errands in the daytime or at night but who knows? Going out for munchies? Visiting friends who are also night owls?

I’ve been hearing what sounds like a saw down by the canal or across the canal.

Got my pears and Hogan’s Heroes DVDs. Guess the guy was for real after all. He says the Mash DVDs will arrive by the end of the week. The pears are boring but edible, and I’ll probably sell most CDs and DVDs I win unless either Tom or myself wants any. Why couldn’t I have won S2 of Charlie’s Angels?! And why can’t I win S3 of that when it’s released?

We will be ordering Ashley on March 3rd. That day can’t come fast enough!

I may get another warmer sometime soon because although the burner doesn’t smoke as much as incense sticks, it still smokes enough.

The more I think about it, the more I’m not so sure I want to move. That is if we stay in Oregon. I hope I’m right about California not being meant to be this year, as funny as that may sound, and that I’m wrong in assuming we won’t move next door for $650. Hopefully, that old saying about the rich getting richer will really kick in, and besides, I can’t believe I’d ever get so lucky enough as to get out of here after just two winters.

Yes, I hate this house, the summertime bugs and the lack of space, but things have gone so well here and this place is so much cheaper. Especially if we don’t license the truck. The only thing not licensing the truck may make hard on us would be eBay. I wish I knew when next door was moving. That may influence what we do, depending on what moved in afterward, along with next door. We’ll still keep saving money like we have been so that if the bugs get to be too much and the wrong people move in, we can get out right away, instead of having to endure 10 months of shit like at the duplex. I also still fear that rural isn’t meant to be and that if we moved to the country fate would see to it that they fired Tom or closed their doors forever, forcing us to return to the city yet again. I know it’s only a matter of time before the noise curse finds us. Until we either get rich or into a retirement community, our neighbors were meant to bother us 90% of the time, like it or not. For now, the chick next door is tolerable, there are no dogs allowed next door for whenever the hell that place rents, there’s no on-street parking, no driveways across the street, it’s cheaper to heat and easier to clean in here, and it shouldn’t get as hot as the duplex did in the summer, although I’d still probably need the AC in the living room. Most of all, I really like having extra money for fun and for saving. We’ll still keep a lookout for good deals, though, especially if we’re going to stay a while. Another pro to this place is the moldings above the doors and windows. They make a great place for the Barbies, even if they’re a bit high, and this way I don’t need to get shelves right away.

I can’t believe that having a big place was once so important to me! Even if we struck it rich right now I wouldn’t get a place as big as in Maricopa since I’d have to clean all that space, although it would be brand spanking new.

It could get noisy in the summer with music, barking and screaming in the yard next door if it’s rented by then, but I don’t see how it could get as bad as the duplex.

Tom said that this German company hasn’t made any more orders, and that’s a bit worrisome because their orders are huge, but there are tons of orders lined up for next month, so that’s good. The stage is still set to rake in the dough.

I had another vibe about that green house, if it means anything at all and that’s that it was built in the 60s or 70s, probably ‘69.

Although not cured, my ear is definitely better. The headphones were certainly a factor in the pressure, which has eased up tremendously since I made the adjustments to them. It makes sense too, considering that the pressure pains started shortly after I got them, 4 or 5 months before the popping began. So the popping isn’t related to the pressure after all. The popping was never a big deal as opposed to the pressure.

I hit an instant win earlier, so Tom will have another T-shirt.

The Tonner clothes are coming today, so I’m excited about that! What’s even more exciting to know is that the mannequin is next up on my list! I should have “Ashley” by March, assuming my vibes about us not moving till May are right. If a deal comes along before then on a particular rental, we’ll postpone her so we can use the money to move with.

Tom finally got his wheel in our last ticket contest. Once we get moved, assuming we’re still going to remain in Oregon, I’ll get him that and he’ll get me the things he owes me. He’s only going to depend on them at work for so long, though, as far as any hope for more money goes, which is understandable. They haven’t even begun talking about partnerships and such, and according to him, they would do so if they were thinking about it. I still say we’re destined to be poor most of our lives. The question is, will we be able to have our cake and eat it too, by finding a quiet place in a warm climate? Will we ever even be able to settle down for more than just a few years? Because of the sweeping, and possible survey thing, I need it to be quiet more so than ever so I can concentrate. There’s no way I could do this work with people screaming right outside the window. Or blaring music, or bouncing basketballs. Meanwhile, I’m just enjoying how quiet it’s been here along with the extra money, both rare occurrences in our lives.

Anyway, although Tom can certainly see the potential the company has to make money, it’s hard to motivate people who just don’t need it. The owners got like a quarter-million bucks when their father died. When I asked why they even bother to keep the business going, Tom said it’s because they feel obligated to carry on what their father started.

Tom’s still researching survey sites and says it looks promising so far.

I spotted this site that enters you into zillions of sweeps for a fee if you’re too busy or just don’t feel like doing it yourself. I don’t know what their fee is, but Tom thought it might be cool to see if someone at work would be willing to let me experiment with them free of charge to see if it’s something I could possibly get into, though I’d rather do surveys. On the other hand, if I entered people into sweeps, I could control the method by which I got paid.

He was asleep when I got up so I scratched off one of the two tickets he got yesterday and it totaled 50. We both thought for sure he’d beat that and that he’d win his wheel, but nope. Yet I didn’t win a Barbie either. Instead, we tied so nobody got anything. Guess I’m just the grandmaster sweeper of this household!

My ear has been better since I pulled the headphone’s sealer cushion off of that side, but it’s not cured. I doubt it ever will be as long as I’m not willing to spend around a grand to do it.

It’s a damn good thing I’m not sex-needy because there’s no way he’d want it today. I’m mid-cycle for one, and I’m not going to be up before he goes to bed so he can be too tired to do much.

We ordered me a new pillow as well as the Tonner outfits I thought I’d never get. That consists of 6 dresses, 1 skirt, 2 tops, 2 pairs of pants, and 7 pairs of multi-colored sandals. The skirt and shoes are on preorder, though, so I won’t get those right away. I’m excited to be getting most of the items come Tuesday! Then my new pillow will be on for Friday. I got a foam one this time so that it can’t bunch. Sometime down the road, I’ll get a new body pillow, too.

I don’t know what the hell’s going on with OLS lately. Are they picking on me because of all the complaining I’ve done over their nighttime outages or what? I found a list of sweeps and went to submit them, yet they deleted them. They’ve been deleting most of my posts, too. Oh well.

What is it with cocks and spitting? Some cock just walked by spitting all over the sidewalk. I can’t even begin to figure these creatures out. God, I’d have been such a little cock beater had I been straight before meeting Tom. I’d have lured them to my apartment, smacked them around a bit to surprise them, then just when they were wondering what the hell was up with me, I’d have beaten the crap out of them. Guys think they’re all big, bad and tough compared to us women, then sooner or later a bitch like me who’s fed up with their ego and their shit comes along and takes them down a peg or two. I would’ve gotten such a kick out of the utter shock they’d no doubt have felt cuz remember, before I met Tom I was barely 100 pounds soaking wet. I used to horseplay with guys like Fran and Andy and flop them around like they were rag dolls, so I can just imagine what I would’ve done had it been the real thing! I just wish I’d done something to that cock that nearly raped me, but having been so caught off guard myself that night, I couldn’t do anything more than panic and run, but at least I fought him off. Of course, I can say I wish I’d done something to a lot of people throughout my life. As angry as I was at the world in general, who knows how close I’d have been to being another Aileen Wuornos if that’s really how her name is spelled. Yet as I got older my rules changed. I won’t touch anyone that doesn’t touch me, my loved ones or my property, whereas when I was younger I’d pick on just about anyone for no good reason other than that life sucked.

I can’t even go a day without seeing headlines about Iran, Iraq or Muslims. Damn, it gets old!

Got yet another DVD I won. Maybe you really do get the DVDs you win after all.

I also received a surprise win notice via postal mail from a sweep that ended a couple of days before Christmas, yet another reminder that I might not hear about my New Year’s wins for another couple of weeks or longer.

Tom left a note saying I’d hate the win, which should arrive in 4-6 weeks, but if it’s what I think it is, I don’t think I will. It’s from a site that sells fruits, nuts chocolates and flowers. I won’t care for oranges or other citrus items, but I wouldn’t mind the pears and pineapples. I won a 3-month Favorites Club Collection worth $74. I don’t know if this means I’ll get things once a month for 3 months or exactly what the items will be, so I sent an email asking about it. Hopefully, I’ll get a response.

When I think of what I’ve been eating I think I should be losing weight like crazy, but not with this metabolism. I’m obviously not going to lose anymore, but at least I’ve been holding steady. The Claritin isn’t working as well to suppress my appetite. Perhaps this is because I’m getting too used to it. Maybe I’ll take a break sometime, hope not to make a pig of myself during that time, then return to it and see how it works. For now, I’m still a fleshy 122-pounder, and it’s a struggle just to stay 20 pounds overweight, let alone to try to lose anymore.

Here are a couple of things I don’t want to get my hopes up over, but that may prove to have favorable results. At least I hope so!

I got to wondering if perhaps these headphones, which I got shortly before my ear began acting up, might be the cause of the pressure I sometimes get. Maybe the pressure and the popping aren’t connected. These headphones are a pretty snug fit, so I removed the pad from the side of the bad ear, which helps to seal in the music and keep other sounds out (unless it’s a barking dog just a few feet away from you) to eliminate some of the pressure and vibration. I also threw off the speaker balance a bit, too. So far so good, but this could be just another one of those times when I’m teased with thinking the ear’s on the mend. I’ve learned, though, not to jump the gun just because I have a couple of good days. I need to go at least a week before I’m convinced it’s tied into it. Wouldn’t that be ironic if we paid him $150 just so I could be the one to eventually figure out the cure for my problem? At least the Claritin saved us more in food than we paid him thus far.

The other thing I’m wondering might add an extra grand or so to our income is if I joined a paid survey site. I read a survey site review, and while most of them falsely promise you’ll get rich quickly, you can make a little extra money if you know who to join. I figured that just like becoming a premium member of OLS upped my wins, well, maybe I’d have better luck skipping the free survey sites, which only enter you in drawings, and paying the one-time fee that some of them have which ranges between $30-$60. As they said, I won’t be bombarded with survey invitations right away, but the more time I put into it, the more I can slowly build it up. I thought I’d let Tom check into it some more, then maybe start with one of the sites they recommended and see what happens. The only other hassle would be getting paid because I’d have to set up a PayPal account as well as open a savings account. The membership buys you into their database of companies offering money for surveys and they each have their own payment methods. I hope to do just surveys. I don’t want to download software to test or to test product samples in which I’d have to pay the shipping/handling charges.

Later…

We learned what the win is all about. Once a month for 3 months I’m going to get something different. The first month will suck cuz it’ll be 5 pounds of oranges. The second month will be great – a pound of chocolates. The third will be so-so with pineapples.

We also had our own private little sweeps again with the football tickets, and I kicked his ass a second time. If he had won I’d have gotten him a wheel. But because I won, he has to buy me a survey membership as long as our research proves it’s worth it. If not I’ll settle for a Barbie.

I am so sick of OLS’s problems! It just goes on and on, even in the daytime.

Tomorrow’s MLK Day. As I told Tom, I’d like to know why the murder of this guy - one he basically asked for - means I can’t get my mail tomorrow. He said it’s not to remind people that they finally got their rights but to remind people that they once didn’t have any.

But we don’t need any reminders of how they once had no rights and now have more rights than we do. They do a good enough job reminding us of the past themselves every single day of each year. When are gays gonna have a day to remind folks that they still don’t have any rights and probably never will??? In 1000 years from now the blacks will still be rubbing the past in our faces and using it as a crutch and a weapon against us.

I finally got a letter from Mary. She said she’s sorry she hasn’t written, but she’s been so busy. I was like, how can you be so busy in jail? But as she says, she’s been meditating for 10 hours a day (damn!), exercising, writing, etc. Other than that she says she’s doing well, wished me a happy belated birthday and New Year, and said she was sorry we lost Blondie but is glad we’re happy with Tinkerbell.

We sort of had sex yesterday, if you want to call me giving him a cumless hand job sex. It just seemed like an awful lot of work for a hard-on, but cumming is not something I want him doing these days anyway, and again, it’s not just an age thing with him, but a choice, as far as I can tell. As for me cumming, I don’t know if I want to do that if I could. I mean, sure I could if he went down on me. But despite the fact that I don’t want him cumming as opposed to 10 years ago, I don’t want to be the man all over again. I was the man where sex was concerned and that made me feel really weird being the only one getting off and all that. That’s just not real life. I’m not saying there aren’t other couples where the woman gets off and the guy doesn’t, it just seems too abnormal and so odd. I think there are more people born without an ear like I was than there are couples like that.

Anyway, he talks of us slowly getting into it and sticking to it and all that, and I’m like, yeah whatever. I mean, sure I love the closeness, but I just don’t feel the excitement I once did. I think part of it’s age and part of it’s that it’s just far from new. It’s very common for one to lose lust for their partner after a year or so, no matter how much they’ve come to love them and don’t see them as this ugly creature from hell. What I really enjoy is just lying together and chatting. At the same time, I sure felt like a fat, ugly, unwanted person when we weren’t having sex, despite the fact that I never doubted his love for me.

I was thinking that I may one day get some sex toys for added variety and enhancement. These days these things can be ordered online. No need to order from catalogs, not that we’ve been getting any such catalogs in years. They have a few that seem interesting from what I saw on one of the sites. Besides your typical bullet vibrator for the clit, they have this thong with a vibrator to buzz her clit while screwing and beads that run alongside the opening for added stimulation for the guy. They also have one that stimulates the G-spot as well as the clit. G-spot orgasms are said to be very different than the typical clitoral orgasms and they’re supposedly very intense. I’ve always been kind of curious about it, so maybe I’ll get something for that. It’s not a high priority right now, though.

They comment at work that Tom smells so good. He explained my obsession with burning oils. Yes, all my sticks are gone, thank God. They really made a mess and they made me a bit congested, too.

Things are still going well, though Tom doesn’t yet know if there’s to be any more money made. He still feels certain that he’ll know within a few weeks, but let’s put it this way: They’ve been getting lots of orders, they’re about to lose two of their senior employees, and the partially nutty boss lady who’s trying to go without her anti-depressants has been absent a lot. This could all mean good things for Tom. God, I hope so! It’d be truly wonderful to have our futures financially secured, so it’d be one less thing to have to worry about in life, though I won’t count on it. For now, unless he does get more money or I win big, I still have to assume we’re meant to be poor and to live in noisy places throughout most of our lives.

I finally got a win notice for a 2-star premium sweep that ended November 30th, which once again proves that just because I haven’t gotten more win notices, it doesn’t mean I still didn’t get snagged at the start of the year. It just may be a while before I’m notified. Anyway, this win was for $60 worth of cosmetics.

I finally got all 8 lotions I won.

Until the Superbowl, Safeway’s having this cool contest. They’ve been giving scratch tickets with 3 rows of footballs, each containing 3 columns. You can only scratch one football in each column to uncover the number underneath it. If your numbers equal 100, you get a free store item. Well, Tom got two tickets and came up with a bright idea for our own little contest. He decided that whoever had the highest amount would buy the other something we wouldn’t be so quick to buy ourselves. Tom decided he wanted a wheel to race his car with if he won, and I decided he could let me call down to Jamie at JBS Dolls and buy me the armatures needed to assemble Chris and Haiku. Well, I beat his ass! But we agreed not to call until we get moved if that’s still what we’re going to do. My vibes still say our next move isn’t to California, so let’s hope I’m right because the only way we’d stay here would be if there really was a significant amount of money to come. If not, we’ll save and try to get out of here in the fall.

We’ve been averaging highs in the 40s, and amazingly it hasn’t dipped under 0 degrees. Not much snow lately, thank God, but lots of rain. Rain we wish we could get in the summer.

I didn’t stay at 120 pounds for long. Since that day I’ve jumped back up to 122, and truthfully, I don’t know if I’m going to lose any more weight. We’ll just have to wait and see. I just hope the Claritin continues to keep my appetite suppressed because I’ve been hungry these last few days, and whether or not I lose more weight, eating less really saves us a ton of money.

I was a fool to think my ear was on the mend just because I had a few good days there. It’ll never get better. I know that now without a shred of doubt, but I’ll be damned if I’ll play appointments as I did for most of my life. I’m not going to spend a fortune, rob us of our opportunity to move, then be given a whole new problem in place of this one that just might be worse. There’s no doubt about it, something up there wants me to suffer from one problem after another. Well, unless it has me get to the point where I’m forced to deal with it by breaking my bones or something, I will not give in to it!

Well, today’s the day. After not being here for about 4 years, I’m now down to 120 pounds!!! I was beginning to doubt I’d lose any more without cutting my calories under 1000 a day, but I always lost weight slowly, even when I was young.

I created photo albums once again on Webshots and got nearly 700 views and 40 downloads. They really liked my dolls, since those were the files they raided.

I just cannot believe I haven’t gotten any win notices! Am I being compensated or something?

The mystery package was a surprise win yet it contained just what I figured it would. It was just a T-shirt and a DVD. Tom, who was badly in need of new shirts, shouldn’t need shirts for quite a while with the way I win them!

The house next door, as well as a couple of other ones in the area, are still up for rent, all at $800 each. God, how I’d love to move next door! But only if there’s more money to be made here. If there isn’t a significant amount to be made, Tom will know it by the time our lease expires. If that ends up being the case, then we just may stay here till we can leave the state. If I quit shopping (after I get some Tonner outfits this month and a mannequin in March), then we should be able to save up enough to get out of here in the fall. Especially if I can hold off on getting my ear fixed and my teeth dealt with. We’ll just have to figure out how to deal with the bugs here and seal the gaps between the screen and casings so we can open the windows in the summer to keep from suffocating.

When it does come time to leave the state, I wish we could skip the city and head straight for the country, but I doubt that’ll happen. Even if we suddenly had enough to buy a house with, he’d have to get a job first and we’d have to get to know the area, and that could take several months. Yet this thing that’s determined to keep us in the city may not give us much choice! Our only ticket out of the city and straight to where we want to be would be if we won tons of money.

Tom went to help Eddie on Sunday with some computer problems and said that the “quiet neighbors” he talks of were slamming, banging, pounding and just totally going berzerk. He could feel the floors vibrating underneath him, he said. Eddie said they had been gone a month and were just returning. Typical westerners! Unless you’re bringing back furniture, that’s no reason to make such a racket, just because you’ve been gone a while. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were noisy from here on out. It’s not uncommon for neighbors to start off fairly quiet, regardless of which one of you moves in first. Our last nightmare wasn’t nearly as bad during the first couple of months. She didn’t leave the dog out all day, she controlled its barking, and she didn’t blast the TV.

It never ceases to amaze me how many households have someone home in it all day. Are there that many people working nights or on disability? Are they being supported by someone else? That last one would be hard to believe in an age where you’re pretty much expected to work unless you’ve got a broken neck.

Having not heard from Mary in two months now, I’ve got to believe it’s over my not sending Adam anything. I can’t believe she’d be that spoiled and selfish, but this is someone who’s never had an ounce of independence in her life and has never done anything on her own. She’s always had to ask others to do for her if they didn’t take it upon themselves to do so before she could ask for help. If this is the case, then I am ever so glad to have her out of my life! Boy, is she going to have a rough life when she gets out of jail! Maybe not for the first few years because her life will still basically belong to whatever probation officer she’s assigned to. Once she’s off of that, though, she’s going to be looking for the most abusive control freak she can find, but oh well. It’s her life.

It made it up into the low 50s and what’s weird is that the house across the street has its window open a bit. The 50s are still kind of cold!

Tom should be home in a half-hour and then we’ll be going to the grocery store.

I’m still 122 pounds, and if I don’t drop anymore after my period which is due by Sunday, then I’ll know for sure that I won’t lose any more weight unless I drop under 1000 calories a day, though I pretty much already know this. Especially since it’s coming up to a month since my weight dropped to where it’s at now. Most people lose 2-3 pounds a week. The thing is that while I may not need 2000 cals a day like I used to, I don’t want to go under 1000 either. At least I know I could if I ever got up the desire to.

I still can’t believe I haven’t gotten any win notices! The more I think about this mystery package that’s being shipped to me, the more I’m pretty sure it’s a prize I haven’t received yet. If it is a surprise win, then I’m sure it’s just a CD or a DVD because a lot of the clients that use this prize distribution are companies that sell music/movie-related stuff.

Today I got the pink fairy in the current Fairytopia series and my socks. I kid Tom about the old package curse still being on him because his underwear hasn’t arrived yet.

I also got my perfumes yesterday. These are the cheap designer imposters. Another surprise to come yesterday was 4 of the 8 Vaseline lotions I won. I didn’t think I was going to get any of them.

An hour or so ago I got a shipping notice from a prize distribution center, but I have no idea if it’s a surprise win or a pending win. My guess is it’s a pending prize.

I can’t believe I haven’t gotten any win notices this month yet! I hope this means I won big and that they’re just checking me out to make sure I exist or something like that.

I’m wondering if next door is already rented because I saw a fuel truck over there the other day as well as an appliance truck. I just hope they don’t get too crazy if we’re here when it warms up! All people seem to do around here during the summer is sit in their backyards and barbecue. Maybe the fact that the wall of the house that faces the biggest part of the yard has no door, they won’t want to hang in that area as much. I just can’t see many people renting a place with such a big yard, though, unless they intend to use it for something. If not dogs, then that could mean kids or a buffer to keep people away from the house. Something I would really like to have myself! She still gets annoying at times with the door-slamming, even if it’s still nothing compared to at the duplex. That place got so bad in the end!

I was annoyed last night, however, for a good 4 hours or so by blasting music. We could tell it wasn’t anything close by, but the faint thumping of the base was annoying enough.

This still doesn’t mean that Tom’s going to get a lot more money out of them at work, but a guy who could be some serious competition for him is quitting soon. There’d still be some competition, but I guess it’ll all come down to fate in the end. He’s still sure that he’ll know within a few months because by then he’ll know how the orders are going. The boss couple did manage to convince that company up in Beaverton to buy their parts, yet oddly enough, they didn’t return the part that had been defective.

I just hope that if we are destined to return to the poorhouse at some point I get most of what I want first!

I found the best mannequin site yet and have decided to go for it after paying off my department store debt and raiding the boutique as planned. I’ve wanted one for 5 years now. Their prices are dirt cheap and they have a huge selection. In fact, they have so many nice ones that I’ve decided to get all 3 of the ones I like best! One at a time, of course. Two of them will cost $225 with shipping and one will cost $180. I could have so much fun making outfits for them for the same reasons I do with the Tonners and Barbies – they’re full sculpts. However, getting lots of outfits for them isn’t something I really desire. I just think they’d make awesome decorations and with 3 of them, I could have a blond, a brunette and a redhead. Just one or two outfits for each of them would be fine and one pair of shoes for each as well as one wig. I may end up with extra wigs, though, once I get the wigs I really want, but I could sell them. Even if we were to live here forever, I stood in the bedroom and saw that two of them could easily stand by the big window while one could stand where Jade is. The cheaper mannequin comes with a stand and a blond wig like all of them do, but it doesn’t have pierced ears or painted finger/toenails. Because it hasn’t got any real toe definition, I’ll probably put her in pumps. This one’s name is Monique. I could get Ashley and Hailey open-toed sandals, one in black, one in white so they’d go with just about anything. I’ll try to get shoes that go with both casual and dressy outfits. Wigs and shoes should only be around $150 total. I think the best way to set them up will probably be to set the legs on the stand, then plop the torso down on top of it, rather than fully assemble them, then put them on the calf/foot rod. Most mannequins have both calf/foot rod options. I don’t think I’ll want them in long pants because then I’d have to use the foot rod which would mean I’d have to take off their shoes. So shorts, skirts and dresses will be what they’ll wear. I’ll start with Ashley and if I change my mind about any additions, then I do. She has dark hazel eyes. Her head is slightly turned and raised. She stands with one leg out to the side and both arms hanging straight down. She’s a high-end mannequin and not a budget one.

The good news is that Tom doesn’t have to go to Beaverton, but the bad news is that they’re upset with him. Not upset enough to fire him, fortunately, but whether or not they’re upset enough with him to deny him a huge salary or partnership remains to be seen.

He found out yesterday that they were going to pay for everything and the boss lady’s husband asked if he’d be okay with sharing a room or if he wanted his own room. He said he’d like his own room, not just for privacy, of course, but to make it more expensive if they were that determined to make him go on a trip he felt certain would be a waste of time. See, apparently, they’re going to try to convince this company that thinks their parts are no good that they really are in fact good. Tom said he didn’t feel comfortable telling them that parts were good if he really didn’t think that was the case, hoping that they’d be afraid to have him go for fear of what he might say.

He put his foot down not just because he didn’t want to have to go, but because he didn’t want them to get it in mind to start using him like the bank did. He wasn’t sure if that was what they were testing him on or not, but he didn’t want to give them the chance to find out for sure. As we both know all too good and well, once you officially become someone’s victim, it’s hard to break free. This will hopefully keep him free of any evil intentions they may have, and hopefully his putting his foot down won’t have any consequences. For the millionth time I have to ask, why is it that our putting our foot down means possible consequences, whereas when others put their foot down where we’re concerned, although they really have no reason to, there are no consequences for them?

We let the bank get away with screwing him, we let the sickos get off the hook scot-free after they screwed me, and God knows how many others. Well, mark my words because so help me God, if those people fire him, their asses are mine! They have no idea what I look like, so it’ll just look like a random attack. I’ll ambush them either leaving work or their home. Whatever it takes. I wasn’t kidding when I said we were going to put our foot down and fight back once we came here.

I received the two free samples of oils today that had been left out of my order, along with that portable battery-operated carpet cleaner I had to send the affidavit for. We also got rechargeable batteries for the camera and a music book/CDs for drummers. We’re going to eBay that.

We were never firm believers in reincarnation, but Tinkerbell sure makes us wonder about the possibility. Never have we had a rat so similar to another rat. She’s got so much of Blondie in her. She even pisses, and that’s usually a male thing marking their territory.

Klamath Falls, OR
Age 40

We had a fun new year so far. Yesterday we got books and treats and we watched the ball go down in Times Square at 9:00 our time on the computer. At midnight here, there were firecrackers and some shouts, but it didn’t last long. For me, the real New Year began at 9:00 our time.

2005 sure did end differently than it began! The first 4 months were bad with us being broke, and Bev giving us half a dozen or so days of hell. Then the next 4 months were sheer hell with Fatty Patty and her damn dog, on top of next door living outside the bedroom and bathroom walls.

When the psychic window opened I didn’t see much more than I have been, other than that they may do a lot of hiring and firing at work. Fortunately, it shouldn’t affect him, though I’m not having hot money vibes. I don’t have any bad vibes either, so that’s good. If there is money coming up, I may not see it, being mainly a doom and description psychic. I didn’t see the last raise coming, that’s for sure.

What I see so far is my name being snagged 3 times either today or tomorrow. Maybe not even until Tuesday. What kinds of wins they’ll be, I don’t know.

I see the dark green shingled house I’ve been seeing lately with a black roof. I’m not sure if the shutters are white or black. Numbers 5, 2 & 3 still seem to be involved. The driveway is to the right and there’s a smaller dark red structure to the left. The back of the house could be the start of a wooded area or just a thick stand of trees that are sort of in a line. I cannot see what’s around it, but the house, which has a single black mailbox on a post at the end of the driveway, could be off of a double-lane highway. Not a busy one like by the motels, but more like the one leading to the mountain. The house may have a woodstove in it. I can’t tell if it’s one or two stories, but it appears dark inside, like the person who designed it favored dark colors. I see a lot of green and brown, perhaps green carpet and some dark paneling in certain areas. I don’t think it’s fenced, but it’s on Old-something Road and is towards the northeast. Tom says there’s an Old Fort Road out that way. There are cross panes on the windows and there may be an enclosed porch of some kind in back.

Tom’s now trying to see if he can be psychic, though I assured him it’s unlikely he’s one of them. Yes, we are all psychic to a degree, but most don’t reach my level. Especially so late in life. It’s like with singing; everyone can sing, but most aren’t worth listening to. Even so, he said he saw a series of weird images that made no sense. Oh, they’re weird, alright! The first was of a pond. Then there was a finger-pointing. The finger wasn’t attached to anyone, so he couldn’t say who was pointing or even what they were pointing at. Then he saw the ocean, followed by a worm in a spacesuit-type hat.

Well, if he is psychic in any way, then he is one weirdo psychic!

Tom noticed that the ‘for rent’ sign that they had put up in the window was down today. I hope it hasn’t been rented already. Dogs or no dogs, I like it empty over there. If on the other hand, it fell down, then something up there has been doing us a real favor lately as far as neighbors go because all people can do now is find the house online. The lack of sign cuts down the attention it’d normally get quite a bit.

Tom said I may be getting closer to getting my dream of being able to buy and download old TV episodes. This is great to know because they obviously aren’t going to DVD beyond Season 2 of Charlie’s Angels. Between the first two seasons, that’s only about half of the episodes Kate was in.

Since there’s no mail tomorrow (bummer) I’ll mail out my last letter to Mary (unless I get a reply) on Wednesday.

I should get my perfumes this week, too. Once I do and have made sure there’s nothing I don’t like, Paula’s package will be mailed out as soon as it’s convenient for Tom to run it to the post office.

I know we’re getting the pink fairy doll, my socks, and his underwear this week, as well as rechargeable batteries he ordered for the camera till we get a transformer it’s compatible with.

I asked our regular mailman to put our mail by our door when it’s raining or snowing and he said that’d be no problem. This old mailbox really sucks! And it’s so stupid that they put it on the post. They should’ve put it by the door so the porch could shield it from wetness.