Today sucked! Again, my sleep is just so damn cursed no matter where I go! I’m not sleeping much better here than in the city. Oh, how I wish I could sleep at night all the time! But the sleep curse would just get me there, too. Again, the shit-for-brains up the hill was turning our electricity on and off all morning long, just a few hours after I crashed, so I kept waking up when the sound machine went off.

The problem turned out to be what I thought it was – the pump. So why he had to turn us on and off to deal with it goes to show how stupid he is. Tom mentioned it to him and he said “if” it was him doing it, he’d “try” to be more careful. Yeah, if it’s him, and that’s a big if, huh?

Meanwhile, I slept on and off in spurts, gained back a pound because I was tired of going hungry just to stay 40 pounds overweight, and then I was able to shower and do the dishes without any problems. I hope this means the problem’s been fixed and that now I can go another 2-3 weeks before the dumb cock wakes me up again with some other problem if not the same one. No wonder people don’t last long here. I can’t believe it’s cuz of the rent cuz it’s even more expensive in the city. I hope I win big to make up for these headaches what with the 1st being just hours away!

Back to water problems again. This time Jesse says he thinks it’s the relay switch that turns the pump on and off that’s broken, so he has to wait till tomorrow to get someone out here. The water pressure’s just enough to do what we need to do, but I’m holding off with things like laundry. I just hope the motel dreams that have been haunting me every night don’t mean that’s where we’re going to have to end up for a while, but if we do, he’s paying for it, not us.

Oh, that little wittle cock! It woke me up twice. First with a power failure which was probably when the well went out (I figure the stupid idiot turned our electricity off by accident), then by driving down here to tell Tom what was up, because it’s too lazy to call. All I remember is hearing a loud motor and what was probably the door to his truck.

The good news is that Tom got my slot bot up and running. It’ll be nice to have that until they add a security code or just disappear altogether.

My new goal is to maintain the 142 pounds I’ve been at since I can’t lose any more without starving.

Health officials are warning those in northern Cal all the way down to the Central Valley not to go outdoors cuz of the smoke. I was surprised because I haven’t been able to smell it in two days. Tom says that’s just cuz I’m used to it, but that it was horribly thick in Carmichael and even gave him a scratchy throat. Guess that explains why it’s still hazy out there. They even canceled the 100-mile marathon that was to run from Lake Tahoe on up to here.

I got my temp tat from Kiwi, plus a code to input for two stickers and 100 more points, but found no place to input the code on the page they directed me to.

When we’re insured I may go to a doctor to try to find out why my body ceases to respond to diets after I lose just a few pounds. Tom still thinks I’ll lose more if I stick to it, but I’m pretty sure 142 pounds is as low as I’ll be able to go. Nothing’s more frustrating, though, than making all the right moves just to fail. I swear I’ve been sticking to it and the exercising, but after the initial 5-pound drop I had during the first few days, I’ve been waking up 142 pounds every day. I’ve been at it a whole week now, too.

The rats are finally growing. In fact, they’re a lot bigger now. Still won’t let us handle them, though they’re better than the last two.

They finally speeded up our connection! The funny thing about it is that we had to downgrade in order to be sped up. We’re not as fast as a cable modem, but we’re twice as fast as we were before. Hope it stays that way, too! Now I can watch movie previews and do the flash sweeps I haven’t been able to do very well.

I was out taking the clothes down I’d hung to dry when I suddenly heard something crashing through the trees. I thought more trees were falling at first, but then I saw that someone was driving either in or out of Jesse’s place just as a deer darted through the trees and ran across the hillside toward the back of the land. They run so gracefully. They sort of leap through the air.

I couldn’t smell any traces of smoke, so I guess they’ve gotten the fires under control. Hope it stays that way!

Yesterday I transferred a pot onto the side of the dresser and bougies on the headboard and washer. Today I was going to add bougie branches to the urn, plus transfer the other urn and remaining bougie branches onto the back closet wall. Well, I added the bougies to the urn on the dresser, then decided to deck out the front of it as well instead of their closet wall. I took the handles off the drawers and gouged on the other urn and the rest of the bougies. Tomorrow I’ll have Tom pick up a matte acrylic finish to spray on to keep them from getting nicks and scrapes like I used to do with the wall art I’d do in the houses we owned.

Although Tom doesn’t think so, I think this diet isn’t going to have any more effect on me other than to keep me from gaining at this point. I was only down 1/6 of a pound. Still 142, though. I’ll keep doing it for the sake of saving money and to keep from gaining anything back, but like I said, I think this is it. I’m just not going down anymore.

Caught the mouse in the kill trap. They’re the only ones that don’t misfire. It also saves us the hassle of trying to take it far enough away from the house.

The smoke was thicker today, but now it’s backed off again. It was spooky earlier with the way it made it appear cloudy out. It was enough to keep the temp down a bit.

My dry rub transfers came today. “Easy application,” I don’t think so! You really have to gouge it on like hell with the tongue depressor they give you, but the slavery and sore hand are worth the beautiful results. The original plan was to put a pot with bougainvilleas on the side of the dresser that’s exposed, some bougies on the washer, and store the rest away. However, I ended up putting some bougies along the headboard of the bed just below the shelves and I cannot believe how gorgeous it came out! I emailed a shot of it to Jessie and to the artist herself at the site I got it from so she can add it to the gallery. I screwed up a bit with the base of the urn due to nicks in the wood, though it still looks great and I can make touch-ups by hand, but the headboard looks stunning. I thought the flowers may be too dark on Maplewood if they even fit there, but it really looks great. The washer looks lovely as well. I think I’ll place the leftover urn and bougies on the closet wall that’s directly in front of the door which I always keep open. I don’t think they’d mind. Maryann did say to do what I wanted and it’s only a closet. I think she’d think it was beautiful. Makes me wish we owned a house so I could get more! I don’t know how you’d get them on textured walls, though. That must be very hard.

That damn mouse, and we’re both sure it’s the same one, decided to camp out last night in Tom’s underwear drawer. He went to pull out a pair of boxers this morning to find a pile of little turds on the pair on top. I guess the mouse felt it made a hell of a comfortable bed! If we can’t catch it within a week or so, we’ll set up the kill traps, though I hope we won’t have to do that.

The Special K diet is a miracle so far! I’ve lost in 3 days what would normally take me 1-2 weeks to lose…5 pounds. I began at 147 and am now 142. I’m hungry as hell, though it does get easier after a few days. The hunger is worth it for a diet that works this well. To be hungry just to lose 5-10 pounds that only comes right back is a different story. I hope this diet keeps working. That’s another problem I’ve had in the past. They work, but only for a week or two, then I keep dieting, but the pounds stop dropping. So as well as it’s working so far, it’s too soon to know whether or not the results will be short-lived. I used to believe calories were calories no matter where they came from, but maybe I was wrong. There sure seems something rather magical about the combination of the nuts, fruits, and grains in their diet foods.

I wish the Apple cards would hurry up and get here! I want Tom to set up that slot bot because I don’t always have time to rack up as many points as I could as I’m tied up with other things like reading, writing, sweeping, cleaning, movies, etc. I can tell a few people have BOTs and I wish they’d use them more wisely so they don’t end up getting a security code added to the game. With my shit luck, they’ll do that the day he creates my own BOT.

But I know how winning works. Right now they’re hoping we’ll just conveniently “forget” about the Apple cards. Then Tom will have to call and play the where-are-they? game. They’ll pitch some excuse on him, and it’ll be weeks, even months before the cards finally show up.

I also won popcorn samples and a DVD Tom wants to see.

Tom saw a mouse behind the toilet last night that ran into an opening at the side of the bottom cabinet, then probably out of the house through the hole the pipes run through. What is it with all these mice in here? Was it always like this or is this something new since we arrived? Makes you wonder how these trailers don’t get eaten alive by the things! I’m thinking it could be the same mouse and that Tom just didn’t take it far enough away. Well, when it comes up and into the trap tonight, it will just have to wait patiently until Tom can drive it further away tomorrow.

My subscriber said that reading some of my stuff leaves her utterly speechless. Yeah, well, she ought to brace herself because she’s about to read the worst chapter of them all – Valleyhead.

It turns out that Jesse had a water leak problem, turned off his water to fix it, then turned us off instead of himself back on when he was done, the dumb shit! Hey, at least it’s better to have your water be sluggish all day than to have to go days without water than to have to cajole your selfish MIL to shell out 5K out of her 100+K to fix it!

The smoky haze lives on out there, but baby Grace arrived today. She looks very realistic and even smells of baby powder and weighs 3 pounds! A definite keeper. She’s made of a rubberier vinyl rather than the hard vinyl that the Tonners are made of.

Anyway, the closest fire is about 100 miles away, heading towards San Francisco which they say is 80% contained. Over 8000 rare lightning strikes caused over 800 wildfires. I just hope they don’t get any closer to us! If there’s been any good in it it’s that Jesse hasn’t been out to play with his engines.

My subscriber commented on it being insane that my parents allowed me to be committed as a teenager. She got that right! Why are people so easily brainwashed by people like doctors, lawyers, cops and religious leaders? Still, my parents should have accepted me as I was and allowed me to remain home until I was ready to go out on my own. Fifteen is too young to throw your kid out just so you can have an easier life.

Jane, the good-looking one who I swap notes with just about every day apologized for lying about her age. You have to be 18 to join. She said she was 19 even though she’s 16. I told her it made no difference to me. She’s going to be one hell of a looker in a decade or so.

It’s been a bit smoky and hazy out there as hundreds of wildfires run ablaze throughout NorCal, but so far nothing’s hit too close to home and I don’t have any bad vibes. As a psychic, I’d be the first to sense any danger.

Instead, we were annoyed by that stupid cock up the hill leaving a faucet on somewhere, draining the well and leaving our water flowing sluggishly. I would’ve been pissed had this continued on into tomorrow. I heard someone honk and a few barks this morning, so Jesse was obviously picked up and gone all day. Maryann works, so she may not have gotten the message Tom left right away. I wish they’d be more readily available, and what kind of person is that airheaded that they forget to turn their water off twice in less than 3 months??? Anyway, Maryann finally got the message, cuz Tom just emailed me saying there should now be water, and there is! Better to have a sluggish day, though, than to have to find 5 grand to fix a blown pump like down in Arizona. I’ll find out more about what happened when Tom gets home.

I had just under 2000 Kiwi points and decided to cash in for a temporary tattoo. I love those temp tats! Now I’m just under 1000, but I expect to be just over 1000 tomorrow.

Got a note yesterday from a fellow slot player saying she’d never dare to surpass me because I’m just too cool, congrats on doing good with slots. So tonight I let her surpass me. She sent me a friend invite, something I was about to send her till she beat me to it. I’m up to 15 friends now.

We finally caught the mouse that we figured was coming and going through the pipe opening under the kitchen sink since we never saw it, but we had to get new traps to do it. These traps are way cool and can be used on carpet, too. They work better and differently than the other one. Tom heard it trigger shortly after I crashed last night. He hoped it’d settle down and go to sleep for the night until morning. He didn’t want to have to go out at night with the skunks and whatever nocturnal nightmares may be out there, but because it was going crazy scratching and chewing, he freed it down past the shed, taking the flashlight so as not to fall off the cliff. Hopefully, it won’t find its way back here, but we’ll just catch it again if we have to and take it for a little ride down the end of the driveway. Ah, life in the woods. So much fun!

Tom layered my hair yesterday. It’s shaped nicely to my face and doesn’t get in my eyes as much when I’m working out. It’s so nice to be able to sleep with it down, have it dry so fast, etc. It’s going to be a pain trimming it regularly as fast as it grows, but I definitely don’t miss having 30 or so inches of hair!

Got 2 of the 5 goodies we ordered from Ashton-Drake, and one of them is going back. That’ll be the hummingbird carousel. It not only wasn’t as dazzling as it appeared online, but its lights also flickered and the thing squeaks when in rotation. The fairy ornaments, however, are lovely.

Good news for Jessie. I haven’t talked to her yet. I don’t know if she got tied up or was just overly nervous, but she did get the job she wanted after all. I’m happy for her. What I don’t get is why she said it’d be hard for her to say her goodbyes to the people at her old job. After all, they didn’t treat her well and she’s never going to have to deal with them again, so who cares? Maybe there’s something about it I don’t know.

I began this Special K diet yesterday and am amazed by how well it’s working so far and how much energy I still have. I’m not even stuck like I usually get on diets. The only negative is that I’m hungry as hell. But if it’s going to work this well, it’s worth a little misery! I was 147 when I awoke yesterday and now I’m 144. I only had that tea yesterday, too. I deliberately held off on the tea today to see if it was more that or this diet that’s dropping my weight. It’s tough, though, like I said. I get up and have a fruit cup, then eat a meal bar two hours later. After that I wait 3 hours and have a snack bar, then another 3 hours after that I have another snack bar, then a bowl of their cereal 3 hours later, then finally, 3 hours after that I eat for the last time and that’s my main meal. I also jog or bounce on the ball for 20 minutes each day, too.

It was a dry run to the Carmichael box today, but there was a Mary letter at least. She’s doing okay.

They’ve decided at work that they are going to keep his hours the same.

It’s been hot and dry and fire season is definitely here. There have been wildfires up in northern Cal. It’s still so peaceful, too. Do you know how wonderful it is just to be able to open a window without the thunderous, chaotic symphony of noise we’d get in the city?! The back bedroom window and the front kitchen window have been open for days. As long as we can never afford a house in a retirement community or to buy a large chunk of land, and as long as Jesse doesn’t screw us over and he’s ok with it, I’ll never leave here.

I’m now up to 1387 points on Kiwibox. I’ve made the top 10 every day but one since I started playing their slots game. If it weren’t for the game I’d barely have over 300 points. I’m going to have Tom write a program to play the game once we get our new computers. My slotbot, I’ll call it, and the cool thing will be that I won’t need to be sitting there watching for security codes. It takes more time than you think, like two hours, which cuts into my writing time. It’ll be great to run while I’m doing other things like showering, cleaning, etc.

I’m up to 10 friends of various ages and walks of life, but no one’s over 26 from what I can tell, and the youngest is 14. I even have a subscriber to my journal already! I’ve been picking things out from my autobiography to add to my regular entries, and my sorry childhood and family really touched this young girl from what she said in the comment she left. She said her family sounds the same, that she was the black sheep in her family too, and because of that, she’s subscribing to my journal. Well, I don’t know why, but I like the idea of people reading my writing. I guess I’m proud of it so I like to share it and let it be known, even if they hate it. I’m just careful of what I say. No last names, no addresses, nothing personal enough to lead anyone to us, although like I told Mr. Paranoid here, even if I said I lived in the woods outside Sacramento, do you know how many people live in the woods outside Sacramento? Plenty!

I’ve also gotten a scattering of notes – my profile seems interesting, what’s my favorite pet, favorite color…

The wins really do come in spurts! I was emailed about a $100 shopping spree at Karmaloop, a high-end clothing store geared toward young folks. Cool! I’ve picked out a hot pink dress and some undies with what’ll be leftover.

The sucky news is that there are to be some uncool changes at work, Tom told me. They’re not going to drop his pay, but they are going to be laying people off in a month or two, and they’re throwing him back on days next Monday. The only difference is that he won’t be going in really early. He’ll be working 10 AM – 6:30 PM. He said, though, that if he’s there come August, I’ll not only be able to be insured, but they’ll give him a week’s vacation. He’d still rather get a job here in Auburn. Especially since he hates it there and is sick of having to spend so much every week on gas. But it’s like something’s trying to hold him back. First his birth certificate got stolen, then he can’t find his passport. It’s like all he’s allowed to have is an Arizona license with an Oregon address!

I’ve decided to stop spending any extra money until he’s made the transition into a new job, something which is always a bit nerve-wracking. At least for me, it is. We already almost lost everything and were homeless twice, so until and if we ever own a place outright, I’m always going to worry about that possibility because as I’ve learned, it doesn’t only happen to other people. He assures me that we’re not even close to losing this place and that we’ll be ok. There are enough jobs available, plus what’s in the savings. We better, because if we couldn’t afford this place, we couldn’t afford motels!

Blackie seemed sick the other day like he was struggling to breathe, but he seems fine now. Same with Brownie. So I guess these little guys are going to be ok. They still won’t let me handle them, but they’re not nearly as quick to run away either.

Like every house we’ve had in the west, we have a mouse hanging around here somewhere, probably asleep in the closet if it hasn’t already slipped back out the way it came in, which could be a number of ways (the vents, under the sink, etc.). I’ve got the trap set up, but I don’t have any cheese right now, so hopefully it will get caught anyway. Then I’ll free the little booger in back of the property. Mice are cute, but stinky, messy and destructive!

It’s just wonderful how much better I’ve felt since getting out of that damn motel room! I enjoy having more responsibilities and fun things to enjoy like I have these days.

Although I was surprised to be notified of such a big win via email, and am even more surprised that we don’t have to sign an affy or a tax form, I feel confident that the 3K Apple win is legit. Kettler’s a big company and OLS would’ve kicked them off the site by now. Tom spoke to a woman there and she’s going to send us GCs so we can choose what we want which is great! Since they don’t have GCs in 3K increments, she’s sending a $2500 one and a $500 one. Apple’s stuff is way expensive. We’re tentatively going to get me a new iMac and then I’ll just use my laptop to play the radio while I’m working on the iMac, and for listening to my own music. Plus, we want to get him a new flat panel monitor so he can finally ditch his old one, and we’re definitely going to get a color laser printer, which they do have after all. I didn’t think they did, but when Tom browsed Apple’s store, he found they have quite a few. We may also get some odds and ends if there’s any credit left over. It was funny cuz I said to him, “If only I’d known I was gonna win this, cuz then I wouldn’t have gotten the iPod.” But that’s probably why I won it! So now that I have a new camera as well I’ll probably win one.

Tom saw Jessie’s dad in an interview. He was talking about his age and saying how he intends to keep on being Big Bird.

Unlike last time, since I didn’t know how to use the zoom feature on my camera, I got some awesome deer pics! Instead of two bucks, it was just one doe this time, climbing up the hill in front. I can’t believe how well they climb! That hill is super steep.

Although Tom is still sick, he felt well enough to take us to Denny’s this morning. It’s just a mile away and had a hell of a view with sprawling mountains and the Sac way, way off in the distance. All this wonderful seclusion yet Denny’s is that close! I got the T-bone and eggs I love, and he got his omelet.

Then we got back and the rats, especially Blackie, begged for the ice cream I don’t have all morning. Almost all of it anyway. I’ve never had a rat this obsessed with ice cream!

After a while, I went to check my email and was like, omigod, omigod, omigod! I’ve been bitching about having a dry spell with the sweeps yet I should’ve known better as to just what that meant – that I was sitting on another biggie! The Kettler Company has been running a monthly sweep that lets you choose your prize. I was May’s winner and got to choose from this list: Two months free rent, Living room makeover from Pottery Barn, Accessorize your Kitchen with Williams-Sonoma, $3000 Tiffany & Co gift card, Dinner for 8 with local DC chef in Kettler Community demonstration kitchen, $3000 Apple iLife package, 6 Months of Paid HOA fees, Create an outdoor oasis with west elm, $3000 custom wall and backsplash work or $3000 custom closet makeover.

We chose the Apple pack, but aren’t yet sure what it entails. No doubt it’s a Mac computer of some kind that includes software and maybe other electronics like phones, iPods, printers, etc. Hopefully, I’ll find out soon enough! I just hope we don’t get killed on taxes next year.

What I’d really kill to win is this $450,000 house they’re giving away, but I doubt I stand a chance even though the sweep only runs for a month and is only open to residents in 6 states, including ours. Still, I’m going to enter every single day, and even if it’s in those subdivisions I hate so much!

They had a really weird sweep the other day. 100 grand to clone your dog.

The more I check out the Kiwibox site, the better it seems, so the more likely it is to change for the worse or end up history altogether. They’ve got games you can play for extra points and if you end up in the top 10 at the end of the day like I did yesterday, they multiply your points depending on where you rank. I also applied for a job as an advisor. All you have to do is be at least 15 years old and able to give good advice at least 15 times a week and that’ll get you an extra thousand points a month. It’ll be weeks before they let me know anything, though.

I’m up to 584 points, and once I get just over 2000, I’ve decided to redeem the points for a couple of rhinestone rings for the mannequins. Then I’ll probably save up the 11,000 needed for a disco ball beaded curtain.

Anyway, Tom was pointing out with a look of amusement on his face that I can’t give the kind of advice I normally give. I can’t tell people who want advice on losing weight that it’s hopeless if they’re over 35. When they complain about their neighbor’s dogs barking, I can’t tell them to take a frying pan to their heads. When they’re bitching about their bosses, I can’t tell them to tell their bosses to shove a broom handle up their ass. And lastly, when they’re feeling totally hopeless in life, I can’t say, “Hey, there’s always suicide.”

I was reading some of the advisor’s responses to some of the questions submitted by people wanting advice. One girl was saying that she couldn’t get her boyfriend to try other positions. The advice was to be open, honest and patient, and that if they loved each other they’d meet each other halfway, and all the usual things an advisor would say. What I’d have liked to have said is simple, “Don’t change positions, change genders!”

Tom decided he has a cold and not the flu. Even sleeping in a separate room with my sound machine blaring I could hear his coughing, and I slept as lousy as I usually do when I sleep during the daytime. First he woke me up, then I was too hot, then I was hungry, then I had major cramps. There’s always something during the daytime. Because I slept in spurts, I slept later, though, so that’s good.

We were to go to Denny’s early this morning to celebrate our 14th anniversary, but we may have to postpone it due to Tom’s cold.

I feel so singled out and picked on by whatever’s up there when I think of how everyone else in our family remained owners once they were able to own a place. We’re the only ones who got kicked back to having to rent, and I’m still not sure we’ll ever own again. It’s like we’ll always be in some place with some quirky highlight. I love it here, don’t get me wrong, but I get sick of funky heating or cooling setups and shit like that, you know? But as long as God allows people to keep sabotaging our credit, I gotta assume it’s because He, or something, doesn’t want us to own anything.

I got a letter from Mary today, and in regards to my saying that if God didn’t make mistakes, then why the Arabs and the shit they cause, she said that even the greatest of artists can make mistakes, and God’s certainly a great artist.

I never thought of it that way, but it’s nice to think God may be a touch human because humans certainly do both good and bad.

At least I had some good wins for the first time in a while. Won a prize pack from Special K that includes cereals, snack bars, a beach towel, and a tote, plus more. I also won Rembrandt toothpaste, a DVD and a CD.

Jessie said she has free long distance and asked when was a good time for me to talk, even though I told her what hours Tom sleeps. She never gave me her address for the coupon, dolls and books I offered to send if she’d pay for the call, but I’ll get it when we talk if she still wants these things. I asked Tom if I should still send them even though she just told me she has free long-distance, and he suggested I wait and see what she says.

She says the neighbors broke a plank in their fence and the dogs stick their faces through it and bark up a storm. She said it’s so bad at times that the lawnmower repair guy on the phone couldn’t hear her because they were so loud. I’d totally kill them!

Gotta tell Mary about Kiwibox.com. When she ever gets outa that damn jail, she’d love it. It’s a social site for writing and sharing journals and you can get little things with points you can earn.

Anyway, the site is mostly so people can write/read journals. There’s no way to know how many people read your entries, but you’ll know if they respond or subscribe to your journal. You can also choose to have your journal open to everyone, just some people, or totally private. You can change the background color, text color, font, font size and things like that, and it’s just a really cool and fun site.

Mary says she’s had some depressing legal stuff going on and may be going to trial in late July. Wonder why she’d be depressed? I would’ve thought she’d be thrilled. I mean, to finally get it over with.

I agree with her, true forgiveness is being able to forgive the unforgivable, something I’m not at all good at. I think Tom’s the only one I could be truly forgiving of, though I can’t imagine him ever doing anything literally unforgivable in the first place! Guess I married the right guy, huh?

Yeah, I thought of keeping the line open where my folks are concerned, as she asked, but I also believe in self-respect and part of that, to me, is not bothering with those who don’t want to bother with me, or who have abused me. I will always appreciate their jumping in to save us, but this still doesn’t change the past, you know? And I just don’t feel comfortable with the idea of any relationship of any kind being one-sided. There’s caring and then there’s caring. They cared enough to save us, yes, but they didn’t care enough to keep in touch, and it doesn’t surprise me because I’ve been abandoned by them throughout most of my life in various ways. They may also feel I deserve a taste of my own medicine and are “getting me back” for abandoning them as I did for nearly a decade. I’d be totally lying if I said I wasn’t glad they were ignoring me. For every one good thing they’ve done for me, there are a thousand horrible memories they’ve given me as well that I have to live with for the rest of my life.

Tom said he heard more trees going down that sounded far away.

Not much going on around here, and Tom’s still sick. Had to hear a couple of rounds of barking, but nothing serious. Lately, they’ve been barking at Tom when he comes home from work, which is strange. Why now? Shortly after he got in from checking the mail at our new UPS box (this one gives you a key to the outer door so you can check it 24/7), Jesse came zooming in on his motorcycle. I didn’t know he was ever out that late. He’s a bit too old for the dating scene, but I can picture him sipping beer at a pub and chatting with old buddies, maybe shooting some pool, that sort of thing.

I’m getting these really super cool dry rub transfers at this site I accidentally stumbled upon. It’s the artwork of this artist that does all kinds of things, mostly flowers and animals. What’s so cool about it is that you design your own murals and make them the size you want and include whatever you want them to. So you can do things like mix and match plants and pots, etc, and the cool thing about it is that the prices are very affordable. I’m going to get 2 pots and 4 bushels of bougainvilleas all for under $60. Because this place isn’t ours, I’m limited as to where I can put them. I doubt they’d care if I put some bougies on the back of the bathroom door, but the others will go on the sides of dressers and places like that.

Now that we’ve got yet another new address, I’ve been having fun signing up for a new round of free samples. Meanwhile, Blackie’s like a whole new rat. Totally changed by ice cream! A few days ago I gave him his first taste, and ever since then, he’s been begging up a storm, jumping towards me every time I go by the cage. He still won’t let me handle him, but I’d say there’s finally some potential there. He learns fast and has been easy to train, though I don’t know about Brownie. I don’t know if he’ll even live. He coughs a lot, isn’t growing, and sleeps most of the time. I’m glad that at least Blackie may want to be friends. Imagine ice cream changing your whole outlook on life for the better?! That little taste has opened his small world up to countless possibilities!

The bad news is that Tom’s got the flu. He said others at work have it, too. He hasn’t been coughing or sneezing like when he has a cold, but he’s been run down and congested. I hope he gets better soon enough and that I’m not next! Not being boxed together all the time in a small room should spare me. I’ve also had flu shots in the past which may help.

Saw a couple of young bucks down at the back edge of the clearing while I was hanging clothes on the porch late this afternoon. Hanging clothes with deer watching; now that’s country living! I couldn’t swear to it, but I thought I heard the faint strain of voices from up the hill. It’s so nice to know that those kinds of sounds will never make it inside here.

Got our first round of movies. I’ve already enjoyed one and now I’m going to go enjoy another!

Things have been back to normal sound-wise around here. It’s been a peaceful day in the country so far today. Just faint voices here and there when we’re outside, but nothing from inside. Yesterday was also a quiet country day, but the day before that I heard his motorcycle once or twice, plus a few barks around midnight. It seems quieter on weekends which I appreciate so that my time with Tom isn’t disrupted. Jesse did have a visitor, so Tom saw when he returned from the store before I got up.

Today he hung the line across half the porch for hanging heavy things like towels and jeans.

We are slowly but surely taking back bits and pieces of our lives, like rejoining Netflix for one. He can’t get the new box till tomorrow, so when he gets home from work tomorrow night, that’s when we’re going to sign up for Netflix (I’m also going to get more freebies). I miss renting movies and by now there are some new ones I’d like to see. We’ll also place the Ashton order, too.

I sent Jessie a message letting her know that I tried to call, the phone was picked up, then disconnected, though I did call back and leave a message. She said she didn’t recognize the number (I gave her the landline number), but that it was probably Bella who disconnected, she sometimes picks up like that. Yeah well, we can’t afford to throw money away like that either, so I told her that since the cell phone’s connection is lousy here, if she’s willing to keep trying the landline till she gets a hold of me, and since she’d be paying for the call, I’ll pay to send her and Bella some dolls and books I think they’d like. As it is, she said she’d like the pizza coupon I can’t use, but hasn’t yet given me her married name or new address, so I have to wait for that first.

As much as it would be cool to have Jessie living close by I’m also glad she doesn’t. That animal of hers would be such a pest, getting into all kinds of things during visits.

I decided to expand my little autobiography some more, beginning with when we moved into the dump on up till when we moved in here.

Tom’s going to call AT&T and let them know that since they refuse to adjust their modem to give us the speed we’re paying for, why not just downgrade our account so that at least the price fits the speed?

Last night I was sooo pissed! Still am, too. From around 9:00 - 11:30 the dogs went crazy. Tom suspects Jesse was out and that something, probably a cat, was teasing them. Cats do it to dogs all the time, Tom says. There were no lights on up there when I looked up the hill, and had it not been for the late hour and the fact that Maryann is a long-distance call from the landline, I’d have called her.

Tom said Jesse would want the dogs to go off at the slightest of sounds when he’s gone, but what about us down here? We’re the ones that have to deal with it, and no amount of barks, alarms or any other ruckus would stop a break-in anyway in such a secluded place, so why be rude and inconsiderate to us and make us have to listen to it when it serves no purpose? I don’t know why people are under the notion that dogs or alarms will cause a neighbor to call the pigs. It ain’t their stuff that’s being ripped off, so what do they care? People only care if the problem is theirs.

Of course, there’s no saying for sure he was truly gone. Maybe he just didn’t give a damn, though I don’t see how he could stand such noise that close to him if it was loud enough to be annoying down here. And of course Tom, being the paranoid guy that he is, was reluctant to say anything for fear of us being booted out. Well, for one, that’s our right to say something since we’re the ones paying him, and we don’t have to come across as complaining as opposed to simply asking what was wrong and if there was anything going on around here we should know about, hoping he’d take the hint. But in the end, I decided to put the call on hold at least for now since it’s only been the third or so time it’s been bad, and people just don’t care. If he cared, he wouldn’t leave them outdoors round the clock. Why doesn’t anyone want dogs for pets? Why must they always be tossed outside like old furniture? Tom thinks they’re allowed indoors or else they’d be barking all the time, but I disagree. I’ve heard barks in the wee hours of the night, so I know they’re at least outdoors all night yet they don’t bark all the time then. I was hopeful that Jesse would get back to work, but now I’m not so sure if that’s going to cause the dogs to be allowed to be out of control more often. I’d rather his engines, chainsaws, voices, horns and whatever else, though I still wish he’d keep the damn things on the other side of the house if he’s not going to take them inside. I’m surprised there hasn’t been blasting music yet. Who knew our own landlord would be noisy at times?! When we moved here I was under the understanding that the “neighbor” was the people with the goats and that we’d be the only ones on the land. I had no idea anyone was up there. Either way, I will call Maryann since Jesse simply has his phone for show and not for answering if it gets to be a regular problem, and I’ll politely remind her why we wanted to move here in the first place. If I simply say we’re “concerned,” they might not get that what we’re really trying to say, since people are dumb, is that the dogs annoy us. Then again, they may not care. Meanwhile, it’s still the quietest place I’ve ever lived in so far on an overall basis, and there’s really no getting anything much quieter as long as you can’t be right smack in the middle of a 40 or more-acre farm, and I wasn’t kidding when I said I was sick of running from noise. If it does get noisy, we won’t be running since we’re not the ones causing the problem. I doubt Jesse would be a poor sport about it if we did have to complain for reasons I mentioned before. God protects our perps, yet how could he protect Jesse if he screwed us? How could he stop us from sneaking back in here in the middle of the night and vandalizing or torching the place or even killing the dogs? Jesse’s got money. He could easily get new dogs and drag in a new trailer (Tom found a sticker on it that suggests it was brought in in 2001 and not 1994), but who would want the hassles? Especially after all the time and money spent on this place?

Anyway, if he was out, he obviously did return at some point last night because Tom heard his chainsaw before I got up. We also heard the motorcycle. Then, when I was in the shower, someone drove down here. Tom said it was an old car that turned around, shot up to Jesse’s, set the dogs off, then turned around and left. Probably someone who was lost. I don’t have any bad vibes, but if it was anyone staking the place out unless they shot me or there were too many of them, it wouldn’t be very wise to tangle with me right now in this foul mood. God, that old familiar city stress is right back on after last night’s antics and it sucks! Not to the degree that it was in the city, of course, but now I’m stressing out over the idea of them going off and stealing the peace even when they’re not. Fucking dogs have been tormenting me ever since I left the East, and a little before that, too! In 2 of the 5 apartments I had back east, they were an issue, as well as every single goddamn place I’ve lived in the west. We discussed the idea, once again, of getting an anti-barking device, but I not only don’t feel it should be our job to take responsibility for controlling someone else’s dogs, but I think they’re slightly beyond the 75’ range the device is limited to, plus I don’t think the signal could go through the trees much less the hillside itself. The thing would be suitable for if we ever do buy a house (which I doubt) in a retirement community because then we’d be boxed in with barking just a few feet away like we were in Phoenix. It couldn’t go through block walls, though.

Tom got up late today, so there wasn’t any time to get a box in Auburn, but he says he can get one Sunday if they have him come into work tomorrow. I guess they’re back to being busy again, so no chance of being laid off this week. I just wonder how many more months it’ll be before I can get to a damn dentist! I wish he’d quit dreaming with the horses and get hunting in Auburn for a job with benefits, but he wants to wait till we get an address here first, which makes sense.

Ashley’s shoes were delivered today, though we won’t be picking them up till Saturday. Tomorrow Tom’s going to get us a new mailbox in Auburn.

I heard 5 rounds of sirens coming from who knows where earlier today, but if it was a fire, I didn’t see or smell smoke. This is the first time I’ve ever heard sirens like that here, though they could never be as loud here nestled in as we are.

Nothing from Jesse today other than someone honking a horn up there, if it wasn’t an alarm, and some howling from either a coyote or his own beast. Oh, and of course we had to have a minute or two of engine gunning. Other than that it’s been dead quiet.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to this weekend’s shopping spree at Ashton-Drake. I’ll be getting an anatomically correct lifelike newborn doll, a hummingbird with a beautiful floral design painted on its wings, a plate with sculpted flowers and hummingbirds, a pair of fairy ornaments, and a gorgeous hummingbird carousel with painted flowers and hand-set gems. This will come to just over $400.

We’ve allotted $85 a week for groceries and whatever’s leftover each week will be spending money.

Meanwhile, we’ve got a thousand dollars in savings, and Tom will set aside money each month to add to it. Hopefully, the horses will be adding to it too, but I still have yet to see that. He still has a lot of money in the account and so he placed $2 bets on 20 races today. We know he lost one of them because a jockey was thrown from his horse.

Later…

Yup, we’re just being teased all over again. That’s ok, we’ll stay right here. This place may be old and small, but as long as Jesse doesn’t become a problem or want to rent to someone he knows, we can live here forever. It’s colder than I’d like during the winter and it’s a bit expensive, but it sure beats an apartment in a scumplex and I’m sick of moving anyway.

See, when I emailed Tom to let him know the shoes had arrived and mention the sirens, he said the sirens were for a grass fire a few miles down the road, then said it looks like he’ll lose a few bucks today, don’t panic, he thought that may happen, will explain later…

Then why’d he place the damn bets?

I hate these rats! They act so terrified of me as if I’d beaten the shit out of them. We’ve never had 4 lousy rats in a row like this before. Never had rats that slept this much before either. I swear Tink’s possessed them to be bad out of jealousy so no other rat receives the attention she once got. They were fine the first day and now they suck.

I also hate AT&T for refusing to give us the speed we’re paying for. All they do when Tom complains is say they’ll check the line. Then they leave a message saying everything’s fine, but it’s not. Unfortunately, they’re the only ones who service this area, so there’s nothing we can do about it, but get ripped off and settle for what they’re willing to give us. As far as I know, throttling us back like they are doesn’t save them money, so they’re obviously doing it just to be mean, knowing we can’t drop them for someone else. I just thank God that everything’s going to be wireless in a few years and that the connection’s at least reliable and I can stream music without all the problems I had in the motel.

I don’t know what’s up with Jessie. I haven’t heard from her since before last weekend when I tried calling her place just to get the machine. I tried again today too, and someone picked up, but only for a second, then I was disconnected. When I called back I got the machine. Well, I tried enough at this point, so I’ll just wait till she emails me. She’s probably busy. Again, she’s got a kid which means she’s got no life. I thought I heard the thing babbling during the second we were connected.

Today we went to the mail place and got the check. After waiting for a mom and her obnoxious toddler that was ahead of us, we cashed it, then grabbed a DQ lunch. Then we returned and Tom took his shower and left for work.

I wonder if Jesse’s son visited today. I not only heard vehicles drive in and out of there, besides a couple of rounds of barks, but I could’ve sworn I heard the animal shout a couple of times, and of course, with school letting out, the mother’s no doubt anxious to pawn it off more often on Jesse, and he’s home as much as I am, so why not? I’m just glad I can’t hear much from up there because there’s almost always someone there and they’re always outside. Do they sleep outside, too? Will they be outdoors this much in the winter?

A fellow OLSer sent me a coupon for a free slice of pizza at Papa Gino’s, but these eateries are only in New England. Why would someone in NV send this to someone in California? I asked Jessie if she wants it. What I could use were the heart decals they sent.

The best news of all – I don’t know if we’re being teased or not – is that the horses seem to be doing better than ever. They made $40 two days ago but lost $3 yesterday because he not only bet on just 6 races (Mondays and Tuesdays are the worst days for racing) but because he bet too aggressively. Half the races won, though. Today he bet on 15 and he should be able to do twice that much over the weekend. I just hope this isn’t a tease as it’s been in the past where we start off winning, then end up losing. I would hope God wouldn’t be so cruel as to allow us to be teased with money after all we’ve been through, and that He’ll either just let us have it, or at least not get our hopes up about it. So many things start off well, just to end up being a bust, be it diets, the way a medication works, etc.

Yesterday Tom put another $825 in Jesse’s box so he can stay home and play with his motorcycle. Yeah, we heard some engine-gunning for a few minutes, then he took off on the motorcycle, presumably to cash the money orders. I said to Tom, “Don’t you wish you could stay home with us and play with the things you love?”

A couple of iguanas are chasing each other up and down the rocky hillside.

Now the dogs are barking.

These rats were fine at first, but now they seem skittish. What, is Tinkerbell jealous from above and determined to make any rats we get unfriendly?

Later…

Hasn’t been a sound since Jesse left and his dogs went off. I thought he’d be going to cash our money orders and then come roaring back, but if he’s been there, all’s been quiet as usual.

Blackie and Brownie aren’t very active right now since it’s daytime. They only get up for occasional snacks and drinks.

The weather’s been beautiful, in the 70s. Think I’ll take advantage of the tranquility around here and do some writing after I work out.