Although Tom is still sick, he felt well enough to take us to Denny’s this morning. It’s just a mile away and had a hell of a view with sprawling mountains and the Sac way, way off in the distance. All this wonderful seclusion yet Denny’s is that close! I got the T-bone and eggs I love, and he got his omelet.

Then we got back and the rats, especially Blackie, begged for the ice cream I don’t have all morning. Almost all of it anyway. I’ve never had a rat this obsessed with ice cream!

After a while, I went to check my email and was like, omigod, omigod, omigod! I’ve been bitching about having a dry spell with the sweeps yet I should’ve known better as to just what that meant – that I was sitting on another biggie! The Kettler Company has been running a monthly sweep that lets you choose your prize. I was May’s winner and got to choose from this list: Two months free rent, Living room makeover from Pottery Barn, Accessorize your Kitchen with Williams-Sonoma, $3000 Tiffany & Co gift card, Dinner for 8 with local DC chef in Kettler Community demonstration kitchen, $3000 Apple iLife package, 6 Months of Paid HOA fees, Create an outdoor oasis with west elm, $3000 custom wall and backsplash work or $3000 custom closet makeover.

We chose the Apple pack, but aren’t yet sure what it entails. No doubt it’s a Mac computer of some kind that includes software and maybe other electronics like phones, iPods, printers, etc. Hopefully, I’ll find out soon enough! I just hope we don’t get killed on taxes next year.

What I’d really kill to win is this $450,000 house they’re giving away, but I doubt I stand a chance even though the sweep only runs for a month and is only open to residents in 6 states, including ours. Still, I’m going to enter every single day, and even if it’s in those subdivisions I hate so much!

They had a really weird sweep the other day. 100 grand to clone your dog.

The more I check out the Kiwibox site, the better it seems, so the more likely it is to change for the worse or end up history altogether. They’ve got games you can play for extra points and if you end up in the top 10 at the end of the day like I did yesterday, they multiply your points depending on where you rank. I also applied for a job as an advisor. All you have to do is be at least 15 years old and able to give good advice at least 15 times a week and that’ll get you an extra thousand points a month. It’ll be weeks before they let me know anything, though.

I’m up to 584 points, and once I get just over 2000, I’ve decided to redeem the points for a couple of rhinestone rings for the mannequins. Then I’ll probably save up the 11,000 needed for a disco ball beaded curtain.

Anyway, Tom was pointing out with a look of amusement on his face that I can’t give the kind of advice I normally give. I can’t tell people who want advice on losing weight that it’s hopeless if they’re over 35. When they complain about their neighbor’s dogs barking, I can’t tell them to take a frying pan to their heads. When they’re bitching about their bosses, I can’t tell them to tell their bosses to shove a broom handle up their ass. And lastly, when they’re feeling totally hopeless in life, I can’t say, “Hey, there’s always suicide.”

I was reading some of the advisor’s responses to some of the questions submitted by people wanting advice. One girl was saying that she couldn’t get her boyfriend to try other positions. The advice was to be open, honest and patient, and that if they loved each other they’d meet each other halfway, and all the usual things an advisor would say. What I’d have liked to have said is simple, “Don’t change positions, change genders!”