I totally, totally give up on telling Andy not to call me on weekends. It just doesn’t work, and I could kick myself for asking him to come over sober. I’m really in for it now! He’s gonna be so plastered when he comes over from now on. It makes me question our friendship. If he were a true friend, wouldn’t he respect my wishes?

Later…

Tom and I went swimming. Got several things done this weekend, too. He mowed and picked up some stuff we needed. I did laundry and some cooking.

Now that we have the “bee whackers” not many bees come around.

I began feeding White Paws again. I kind of felt sorry for her.

I made an anniversary card for Tom and did up his birthday card, too.

Tomorrow, we’ll be going to Red Lobster.

We got a card from his mom too, with a $25 check.

I called and spoke to Tammy today. New England’s been getting lots of rain. Boston declared a state of emergency over it. They were supposed to get something like 30”!

I guess she’s still in touch with Mark, cuz she’s in business with him. She’s been working with him at his sharpening business since January.

I know it has to be up to me to decide whether or not I want to give Jenny Craig a shot, but I asked for her opinion on it, anyway. She thinks it’s a waste of money and that you can do what she does at home by yourself. I tried that and got pretty much nowhere. So maybe I either need the help of Jenny Craig, something is wrong, or God just doesn’t want me to be thin again. I think I know which one it is. I’ve known it for 8 months now. Why am I so stubborn? Why don’t I just give up?! I’ve got to accept things as they are and live life. Enjoy what I do have and how things are.

Tom says Tammy has a point. You can do it at home, but if you’ve tried that and had no luck, it wouldn’t hurt to try Jenny Craig. We’ll see.

And as far as what I am or am not gonna say to any doctor about my sterility - we’ll see. Rather than decide whether I will or won’t say certain things, we’ll see. I’ll see what I feel like saying when the time comes.

Later…

Tom told me that some people put their journals on the web. I’m gonna check that out some time, but no, I don’t want to put my journals out. I can’t see who’d want to read them, but I’d rather a stranger read them than someone I know, cuz then I’d be embarrassed if someone I knew read them. Anyway, I just think it’d be interesting to see what I could find.

Tom showed me how to back up my stuff on a CD. I still have my journals, drawings, and things like that backed up on floppy disks, cuz it’s always good to have more than one backup copy. It’s amazing how much stuff a CD can store! All my journals, plus everything else that’s on the computer.

Tom’s getting ready to watch the basketball finals and thank fucking God that cock isn’t in the picture. Thank God for me. Thank God for them. If that cock were there, which I’m amazed hasn’t come back yet, it’d be rocking over there from one PM till at least 10 PM like it was June of 96. They’d barbecue, play ball, scream and shout, and of course, bass in and out like hell. God spared me from June of 97, too, cuz the cock didn’t come back into the picture till late June last year and the finals are in late May to early June.

Thank you, God, cuz I don’t know how I’d ever have been able to deal with it without going over there and beating the snot out of them!

I just can’t believe it’s not back yet! It’ll be back though, sooner or later.

Boy, were we bad yesterday. Our illiterate mailman gave us 3 pieces of mail that were the bitch’s. Later, he tried to get it back out of the mail slot when he realized he fucked up, but we’d already gotten it by then. (if he put a note on the bitch’s door explaining how he screwed up and how we got some of her mail, she’d be like - well, there’s no getting it back now! Ha, ha!

There was something from AT&T and Sprint long-distance phone companies. I got her number again too, cuz I like to have information. Although, this bitch doesn’t accept blocked calls.

In the third envelope was a 14-day notice to pay up on late rent from the city. This bitch’s rent is $181. It gets to pay just $181 for a remodeled, 3-bedroom, 1½-bath house, that little fuck! Well, little fuck ain’t got no pool, though.

Anyway, I stored her number, her account number that was with the late rent notice, and the address listed as the return address for this letter, on the computer. I don’t know if I’ll ever use this information or not (that’s up to them), but it’s nice to have.

Later…

It’s back. I heard a few bangs, which were amazingly not too loud, went out back, heard the car engine, then a door shut again. Yeah, I knew you would be back, you piece of shit. I was just a day or two off with my prediction. It was only for a few days. No wonder I didn’t sense it. It’s gonna fucking be slamming doors all fucking day and night as it unloads its stuff. Fuck!