M203

So far, and I repeat, so far, the new year has taken a turn for the better. Everything’s fallen into place nicely, and I’m totally being compensated for how shitty and stressful things have been. My only fear is that it won’t last.

I’m in the best 2-man cell in M with a quiet, sane celly, I have my retainers now, Palma knows I like her, and she might like me, too. Either that or Mary G, my new celly, and I have Palma all wrong. She could still be straight and prejudiced for all I know.

First of all, as I figured I would, I got a letter from Bob. He’s still hopelessly fighting his case, hardly hearing from Kim, and not much else. He enclosed Kim’s address, but I’m not sure whether or not I want to write to either one of them again.

The New Year’s Day food wasn’t too bad with cereal for breakfast, pudding with lunch, and chicken for dinner.

I put in a tank to get a legal visit from the Women’s Network, but I doubt they can help me with getting an early release. They mainly specialize in getting drug offenders into rehabs or halfway houses upon their release, but it’s a half-hour I get to get out of here (even though this place isn’t as bad as some others).

I spoke to Tom on Monday afternoon. He has a cold because he let himself run out of vitamin C tablets. I wish I could be there for him! He said he was trying to save money, and I reminded him that cold medicine costs more than vitamin C tablets.

I’m still not sure what to make of Palma, but here’s the story. Yesterday, after dinner, Rogers came in and asked if I needed a bottom bunk. No, I told her. Fearing the worst – I was going to a 4-man cell in M, I told her I refused to go to one. Unexpectedly, this seemingly uncool DO asked, “What about if it’s just a 2-man cell?”

I said that’d be fine if it wasn’t with Melinda B. She left and I was begging God to keep me from being “extradited” to M. I even ran and hid under my covers as if that’d help me, as Carolyn said laughing. Nonetheless, shortly afterward, a male DO came and told me to roll up. I knew I lost the fight. On the way out, I ran across the pod to let Rosa and Tina know where I was headed, and Tina said she’d write to me at our PO Box.

While I waited by the tower, a young girl that I’d seen before in M, told me I was going to a 2-man cell with Mary, who was cool. She needed my lower bunk on the lower tier because she was pregnant, and there wasn’t any available in M.

So the guy gave me my paperwork and told me to go. Just outside A’s slider, Rogers said, “You know where to go, right?” I did, even though my heart was pounding with anxiety every step of the way. I was surprised they let me walk that far alone and enter M (the main entry door was popped) without anyone there waiting for me, wondering if it could be a DO who felt she knew and trusted me pretty well.

As soon as I saw the empty upper bunk in the lower 4-man, I automatically assumed that whoever the DO was had it in for me because most of them know I’m anti-big cell. I stood there by the tower, wondering just who the fuck chose me to come here to M Dorm out of the 5 of us that I knew of that were Ad-Seg.

Then the door opened up, out came the DO, and I was like – Palma? Since when does she ever work here?

The first thing I told her was that I wasn’t about to be thrown in a big cell, and she goes, “Relax. You’re not going in a 4-man cell. You’re going in 203 with G.”

“G? Who’s G?” I asked, and then I asked if she were crazy.

Palma said, “Well, she doesn’t take psych meds.”

Neither did my mother, so that doesn’t necessarily tell me anything.

This is my third time in M Dorm and never have I been searched upon entering it, but leave it to Palma, queen searcher, to search my shit. Knowing how by the book she is, I knew I could kiss a few things goodbye. She swiped my extra towel, my homemade washcloth, and a rubber band I had around a bottle.

She asked me about one of the books I’ve got. I told her I hadn’t read it yet and that she could check it out, but she said she’d wait till I read it and reviewed it for her.

On the way over I noticed my papers said that the reason I last went to A was that my cell in M was needed for a closed custody, but that was only the first time I left.

Deanna acted exactly as I knew she would – all smiles as I walked by. I certainly have no hard feelings towards her because she did do me a favor, after all.

So, I got up to the room, introduced myself, and knew Mary and I would probably keep in touch long after I got out.