That was so rude! So incredibly rude! That damn Arajo butch that Ida grieved for being rude just tore up a note I stuck in the trap for her. I never did anything to this bitch! What? Did she assume it was from Ida?

Anyway, the note said that although I’d be OK with staying here, I’d prefer to be swapped with Melinda in 203 because I was having problems with Ida.

Ida did let me sleep, although it was noisy outside till after lunch (after dinner they’ll all scream at each other through the vents), and although Ida did wake me a few times with things beyond her control – toilet-flushing, coughing, etc., we agreed that while we don’t have to like each other, we do have to respect each other. That includes each other’s sleep, which is our top priority. I just wish we were on the same schedule and that she’d sit still for more than 5 minutes! And I’m sick of the hours of paper rustling, too. At least her mouth is no longer flapping non-stop.

---

I just asked Miss Butchie Bitch on her next walk what her problem was, and the miserable bitch claims to have been advised by first shift that we’ve asked to swap before, and not to swap us with anyone.

Well, she was advised wrong. This is the first time I’ve asked to swap, and Ida says she never asked to be swapped either unless Arajo’s referring to the time Ida asked Espi to move me. Also, Misery was on first shift today, and although she didn’t come in here or pick on Ida in any way, Ida would never ask Misery to move me. She wouldn’t ask Misery for anything.

I just wish I weren’t so damn exhausted! I seem to be more tired and more beat each day. Am I ever going to feel at least half alive again? Somewhat rested?

Got a letter from Tom. As always, it was a nice one, saying he’s going to take a week off when I get out to make up for all the time we’ve lost.

He doesn’t have the correct address for me to send complaints to yet, and Rosa is still in A.

Still with Tina? I doubt it. Not with the way Palma bounces people around over there.

Like mine is, he says his cold is lingering on, and Houdini’s been mean to Harry. Houdini’s taking his frustration with the freeloaders taking his mom away from him out on Harry.

He’s waiting on a better job with better pay at the bank and working overtime.

It was good to hear him say he’s working on setting up our farm (something we want to do anyway) and getting me transferred to a Pinal county PO, because “they understand about the work involved in rural living,” as he says. I’m glad he’s taking care of this because I wouldn’t know where to begin.

The kid here that I always have to see and hear says you don’t have to work on standard probation, which Tom verified I am on.

Ida keeps some weird notes. I see her scribble shit down every now and then. She leaves them on the desk. When I was eating at the desk, I noticed one of her notes said “peephole.”

What peephole?

In the note I told her was slipped under the door by someone I didn’t see, I thanked her for making a call for me, mixed in with mumbo-jumbo. She later told me she fell for it at first and was genuinely confused because she did make a phone call for someone.

Pérez was on the last two nights. Finally! She took me out of the cell (just outside the door) and we chatted about all kinds of things. She even opened up to me too, telling me all kinds of personal things.

I told her it was too bad there weren’t more DOs like her and that it was too bad she wasn’t on first or second shift so I could see her more. That’s when she told me that in May, after her 19-year-old daughter has her baby, she’ll be switching to second shift.

She preached to me about trusting God – Oh, please! She told me of other cases where their sentences got reduced and was really trying to be encouraging.

I asked her why some people tend to work M more than others, and she said it was because they don’t want to be in the dorms. She likes people, though, so she’s in the dorms a lot.

She told me she has 15 brothers and sisters and has family all over, including Puerto Rico. She’s 44 and thought I was 23 when she first saw me.

I mentioned the rude bitch of a DO who ripped my note up and she said they talked about it. Yeah, I’m sure they did. I’m sure the bitch said I asked to be swapped 1000 times.

Instead, Melinda and some girl in the lower big cell swapped places. Vasquez did the swap. Good. I feel better with Melinda in a big cell. When she’s in a little one, that’s one less place I can go when they want to start bouncing me again.

I asked Melinda why she moved since the lady seemed pretty passive (another older lady), and she said she was having trouble communicating with her because she can’t hear. I slipped a note under the door to let her know I’d be able to help with signing if she needed it.

I wish I was deaf in this place!

Pérez has a brother who’s deaf-mute and says she wants to learn sign language. We agreed I’d teach her something each time she worked, even if that’s not very often. The first night she asked me how to sign: Can I help you? Last night it was: I’m sorry.

I knew Pérez was on again before I saw her by the way her keys jingled. She has a very dyky walk.

We were talking about religion and I was telling her that one of the problems I had with religion was how they bash gays, preaching all kinds of prejudice against them. I told her that as far as I was concerned, any religion that can tell someone it’s a sin to love someone just because they carry the same body parts is bullshit.

She said not to believe what some people might say about churches and God pertaining to that. “Or else God would be judging me,” she said, confirming I’m right about believing she’s gay, too.