Although I won’t have more details until early Friday morning, it turns out I have a whole boatload of problems. They should be manageable and I shouldn’t be going belly-up anytime soon, but I do worry and wonder just how much time and money this shit’s going to take up. I thought I’d have just one problem. Not 4 or 5!

After fighting with the MagicJack, which has once again crapped out on me, and dealing with a semi-shitty connection on the cell, which loves to drop calls, I managed to get someone to help walk me through the steps of retrieving my test results online. Apparently, when Tom set up the account he typed in the wrong 4 SS# digits.

So finally I’m in and I’m looking at the results. I slowly scroll down the page and by the time I reach the end I’m damn near ready to scream. I don’t know that I’m officially diabetic, but let’s see… I have a high white blood cell count, a low level of vitamin D, high cholesterol, and a seriously messed up thyroid. Yeah, no fucking wonder Miss Flat Abs and Muscular Arms turned into such a fat frump, huh?

Anyway, I’m pretty sure the infection, which would raise the white blood cell count, is coming from between the legs. I just don’t know if it’s a gynecological issue or a UT thing. My guess is it’s a bacterial infection that women get all the time. Too much moisture (like from sweaty workouts) and just a little bacteria can infect us even if we keep clean and shower regularly. I will find out at 7am on Friday. Right now I feel like someone’s holding one of my incense sticks to that area. It burns and itches. Many of these problems have probably been festering for months, even years, unbeknownst to me. However, several months back, like before the move, I noticed what felt like “zits” down there and thought the itching kind of went a little beyond the normal feminine discomfort that we all get at times.

For the most part, I didn’t have to be intuitive or psychic in my case as it was mostly common sense based on what’s been going on with me lately. Miss Healthy and Damn Proud of It. I’ve been pretty healthy with a few minor problems along the way ever since I quit smoking 16 years ago. I guess my healthy days are over, though what they can’t cure should at least be manageable. Still, I wasn’t looking forward to having to return to the days of regular appointments and prescriptions even if it’s for other things instead of asthma, allergies, bronchitis and shit like that.

Anyway, I first thought the “itchy zits” were from shaving down there, so I stopped shaving. But on it went and eventually, I resorted to getting medicated wipes that are no longer of much help. Definitely need antibiotics for that. I just worry about the trip. What if we can’t go? I won the trip but that doesn’t mean we haven’t invested hundreds of dollars in taxes and extras. I don’t want to lose the money OR the vacation. Worse, what if he gets laid off?

I’m both surprised and not surprised to find the elevated white blood cell count. I’m surprised because I didn’t have a fever and I have no discharge or funny odor down there. But I’m not surprised. It would explain the negative dreams and dizzy spells and the way things have felt a little off down there.

The biggest surprise was the cholesterol. Okay, so many older people get it. But I eat healthy most days! What we eat isn’t all that influences it, though, from what we read. It’s connected to thyroid issues. It’s amazing how many things are connected to that actually. Andy’s had issues with cholesterol and a lack of vitamin D.

My own lack of D is probably due to a lack of sunlight. I only go out when running or doing errands. Otherwise, I have no reason to go out and have never been a very outdoorsy person to begin with. Let me guess… some of you are “sad” for me, huh? Well, I’m happier in a bug-free, climate-controlled place, so cry on if you must. I once heard a glass of milk a day can replace the sunlight, but dairy products play on my stomach.

The most serious issue, but the least surprising was that I was right; I do have thyroid issues. According to our research, the numbers are high and potentially fatal if left untreated for years. It can cause all kinds of other complications. I’m hoping mine’s in the early stages so that if I can never lose another pound again I can at least not gain any more.

I kept telling myself to quit being obsessed with my weight – I didn’t give a shit how I looked anyway – but it wasn’t that easy cuz I knew deep down that something wasn’t kosher. I also knew that if I got any bigger I’d struggle just to tie my shoes. How frustrating it has been to watch people jog or walk by the place, trim and thin, and know that I’m busting my ass just as hard as they are just to stay the same damn weight, give or take a few pounds. I just knew no one would run a couple of miles every other day, eat sensibly, and NOT lose weight. I tried to tell myself it was just age, bad genes, simply how I was, but I wasn’t kidding myself.

I’m too wound up to focus right now, but I’ll just say that while things could be worse – damn the fucking bastard above to hell and back if there is one. I KNEW something like this would happen once we got settled. I knew it. I also told others and mentioned in my journal that I was afraid something like this would happen. I am, however, very grateful to Tom, Tammy, Andy and Nane for being there for me.

I asked Alison if all’s been quiet in Trollsville and she said yes. Really? Doesn’t she know Molly tweeted to her as if all is just fine and they’re still good buddies? Wanted to know how her weather was or something like that. Maybe she just doesn’t want to acknowledge her in public. Our tweets aren’t protected now. So if she found her newest name there, she’s probably found mine, too. The types of tweets, pics and other account info would pretty much give me away to a stalker no matter what name I went under.