Feeling kinda yucky today with the PMS from hell. Really hope I don’t skip a month and that my period is on time for once. My back aches like hell, and part of why I don’t go to a masseuse is because the PMS is going to return each month no matter what. Also, I’ll put Tom’s hands to work for 10 minutes or so and I’ll be fine. What’s not so easy to just massage away is the fucking water and fatigue. I’m just so glad I got out of the obese range so I can pick something up off the floor even when waterlogged. I swear if you stuck a fork in me, about 3 pounds of water would come gushing out like crazy!

I’m frustrated with Paula cuz no matter how many times I ask I can’t get her to tell me what’s going on with her in a message. We keep missing each other, I keep asking her to update me in a message, and she keeps telling me to call her. Fuck it. I’m not going to play phone tag games with her. Besides, nothing I dream is going to change what’s destined to come anyway.

Anyway, Tom and I are heading out soon to Walmart and then to have fun browsing through other stores as well.

Later…

Decided to just do Walmart today. We spent $200 there. Maybe tomorrow, though, we’ll go to Goodwill. You never know what bargains you may find there.

$45 of the Walmart run was that 5-day Nutrisystem trial thingy I mentioned before. I love how they make it simple and how everything is packaged, weighed, measured and cooked for you. It comes with 15 entrées and 5 desserts. Monday – Friday I will have 3 entrees, a dessert, 2 “Powerfuel” snacks of my choosing, and 2 “Smartcarb” snacks. So I will eat 10 times a day. While nothing in this package contains anything I wouldn’t eat, I’m sure the hunger will be insane cuz each item is barely more than a few bites.

This way I can tell the doctor when I see her on the 14th how my body reacted to it. If something’s wrong with my thyroid, I want to know about it and I need to know about it cuz it could be a serious problem for me later on down the road if I don’t deal with it now. There’s got to be some reason why my body gives up after losing just a few pounds. As I was telling someone else earlier, the reason I’ve probably had an easy enough time maintaining my weight is because it’s 25 pounds too much and we’re SUPPOSED to be fat when we’re older. Not obese, but fat. If I tried to maintain 120 pounds or lower there’d be no way I could do it like I could 25 years ago.

The point is that I’ve been wondering for a long time if something’s up with me or if this is how I naturally am. I don’t want to go all out on Nutrisystem and pay the $300 a month just to lose 5 pounds that’ll only return even if I keep on dieting and exercising. Or that can’t be maintained even if I did lose 20-30 pounds.

Would I do the Nutrisystem program if I knew it would work? sighs thoughtfully I don’t know. I just don’t know yet. We could afford it, but I’m not sure I’d want to get a new wardrobe either right now. It would definitely help with my mobility even more if I got some more bulk off and out of the way, but right now the home improvements are more important to me since it’s not like I’m 50-100 pounds overweight. So… one step at a time. First step is seeing what the trial is like. I’ve always been curious about how programs like Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers work. Well, not so much how they work (that much is obvious), but what it’s like to actually be on one of their programs. Once I see what it’s like and whether or not I lose weight, then I’ll decide if I want to just stay where I’m at or go all out with it. I’d also like to hear what the experts have to say about my thyroid and the results of any blood work they do. They won’t be doing much on the 14th, though. That’ll just be the initial getting-to-know-the-patient routine.

Got the dentist and eye doctor in February, and the eye doctor makes me a bit nervous. I suppose it shouldn’t, though, cuz glaucoma doesn’t fester to the point of being a serious problem overnight. It usually takes 10-15 years, so I should be years away from needing any drops if I ever do need any at all. Hopefully, the OH was just a one-time thing and the pressure will be back to normal next time around. Either way, I need stronger glasses.

One trip and 3 appointments in less than 2 months! Guess you could say I’m a little overwhelmed.

I also need this park to stop fucking with our water and stop the landscaping craze. Four times I had to hear it yesterday, and while it may’ve been short-lived, it was no less annoying. Today I hear something running that may be outside the park, but still, I hear this shit nearly every day and you would think I’d be used to it by now, but I’m not. Oh well. It’s better than 12 hours of barking.

Just when I was thinking how nice it was to have no pipes break in months, this is the third day in a row they shut our water off for about an hour.

Anyway, Tom got a label maker to create labels for his storage bins in the workshop, and I got my first paper journal since the 90s. It’s got a rainbow-colored leopard print on its hardcover and is going to be used mostly on the plane to and from Hawaii. Since I probably won’t fill up all 200 pages, I’ll probably write one here and there over the upcoming years and make my own “library” contribution along with the previous owner and all the books they left behind. I should do a page in Spanish, Italian and German, too. LOL

Okay, I’ve had enough of the mower or wood chipper or whatever the hell it is that’s been running toward the front end of the house. I’m going to crawl into bed in back with my Kindle and read to the hum of my air cleaner.