Age: 48

Martin Luther King had a dream. So did I. Only mine’s the one I hope to hell that, unlike his, doesn’t come true.

I don’t know why, but New Year’s Eve is a hot spot for psychics of various kinds. For some reason, we tend to get a glimpse of what lies ahead at this time, be it in our dreams or when we’re awake. But the “psychic window” didn’t open much for me the last few years and so I didn’t really think it would this year either.

Knowing the unknown has been a habit of mine for most of my life. It starts with that little feeling that says something wrong, which we’re all programmed with. Then around the time I quit smoking in my early 30s (coincidence?), it flourished into much more than just basic intuitiveness, mostly by way of dream premonitions of a negative kind. Almost all my negative dreams come true, sometimes even to a tee. I learned how to read various dreams and weed out the “spam” from potential signs/warnings in time. It was cool at first but by my 40s cool had turned to creepy.

I made the comment to Tom about how I’d probably be asleep this year, so I doubt I’d “see” anything while awake at least at midnight Eastern time. He said maybe the “dream people” would show me something about what’s coming up in the year ahead.

Oh, they showed me all right, in the form of a double nightmare involving suicide and death. Again, I wasn’t expecting anything unusual and figured the dream people were simply dormant and lying in wait for the next rough patch of life we go through since they prefer to be the bearer of bad news as opposed to good. Only none of it had anything to do with us and as selfish as it may sound, I am thankful for that much.

Unless my new gel and memory foam pillow I got at Sam’s Club is just hexed, barely two hours into my sleep I had the first nightmare. It involved a young girl I didn’t know that hung herself. My mother might’ve been one of the 5 or 6 people that knew her and discovered her. The girl, in her early 20s, hung from a rafter in a loft and landed sort of in a sitting position at the edge of it. We gazed up at her from down below. She was about 10’ up and there was this ramp-like ladder leading up to her. For some reason, everyone was more concerned with the small square pillow by her side than with the girl. They just had to have that pillow for some reason, but no one would dare get near her.

“It’s just a dead body,” I said. “I’ll climb up and get the damn pillow.” So I got on all fours and shimmied up the ramp/ladder. I was a few yards from the girl and pillow when the rope around her neck snapped, causing the body to flop back and then start rolling toward me. I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came out.

I woke up sweating and had to turn the fan on. Since I don’t know who that was in that nightmare, I can’t say for sure what it means. Maybe some trouble ahead for an acquaintance? Maybe they won’t kill themselves, but maybe they’re still in for tough times.

It was the second dream that was critical because it’s not only the second time I’ve had a dream like this, but it’s about someone I do know very well, my friend Paula. She’s 46 and has been on disability all her life cuz the poor girl has the mentality of an 8-year-old. She’s the type that might be afraid to see a doctor for fear of it causing the FBI to steal her bathmat or something like that. It’s a wonder she can even drive.

In the letter I just got from her she says she’s sick again but will beat it, she said to make sure I send her a Hawaiian postcard from California so she “knows” she’ll get it. Yeah, that’s just Paula for you, LOL.

In real life, she told me she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and was going to undergo a hysterectomy. So when I had the first dream of her dying, I figured that’s all it was about and that she would be okay. I don’t know if she ever really did get the hysterectomy done, but I find it hard to believe that last night’s nightmare is just a reflection of my concern for her. It’s got to mean something. I’ve had numerous dreams and visions pertaining to her and I’ve never been wrong yet.

Anyway, I went to visit her in the dream and although I was shy about it and chose my words as carefully as I could, not wanting to put her on the spot but curious just the same, I asked if she’d be okay. A dubious expression crossed her face and she said, “Oh, no, this is a solid mass.”

Her phone then rang and clearly, she didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so I walked out of her apartment and closed the door, which had been open. I realized Tom was standing outside in the hall and had heard the whole thing. We walked silently for a few seconds, then he asked, “Do you really think she…”

“Yeah, I do, Tom,” I said before I woke up, wondering if her condition is a lot more serious than even she realizes. I’ve had death dreams pertaining to my sister and another friend yet they lived even though it wasn’t without a serious fight. But this is the second dream, and again, Paula’s not very bright and her insurance is probably a joke. Hopefully, at worst this just means she’s got a very rocky road ahead of her, though it’s got to mean something. It’s got to. I don’t “reflect” in dreams. I “see.”

Good news, Mr. King. Most people like blacks. I wish my own dreams weren’t as apt to be granted as yours was.

Later…

To back up to when Bob noticed we’d left the water on, I later went out to see if things had dried up. We’re going to turn the water off to the whole house when we leave for Hawaii. That way we don’t have to worry if a pipe bursts or anything. Like what apparently happened yesterday. I’m surprised we went this many months without a park pipe bursting, but I could tell by the way the pipes farted when I got up and peed that there had been another outage.

Like most people, the people next door are in and out a few times a day. This time the SUV was gone and Virginia wasn’t around, so she was obviously out somewhere. Bob was doing something in the garage. The garage is actually pretty empty, so he definitely doesn’t have any workshop set up in there, thank goodness.

I casually asked him if anyone had gotten a dog around here to see what he’d say, but he just shrugged. Then the next day when we were heading for Sam’s Club, Tom said he saw the dog I’ve been hearing in one of the houses behind us. At first he thought the dog was loose and thought that was weird in a retirement park of all places. It was taking a leak on a small strip of grass alongside the house and he next saw someone waiting at the door. I’ve only heard it a few times so far, but I really hope that thing isn’t going off at open windows in back come spring. This is an amazingly active park so it would have plenty to go off about. We were surprised just how many people were out walking yesterday and it was cold. We both wore our jackets to the store.

Anyway, the nightmares I had left me tired so I took a nap a while ago. That fucking loud-ass car or truck or whatever the hell it is that delivers the paper just had to wake me up, of course, because I drifted off without putting the sound machine on. If it weren’t for that I’d hear everything. Vehicles, planes, helicopters, sirens, people, dogs, and just about every sound imaginable. Still, no vehicle that insanely loud should be allowed to cruise around here at 5am! How do people sleep through it?

We hit Sam’s Club at 10am and like I said in my last entry, I got a new gel/memory foam pillow as mine, which I had for 8 or 9 years, finally started to really lose its shape. We also got a memory foam bathmat to replace the old one in the second bath. I don’t think I’d like memory foam padding under our future carpet. They do make it, though.

I wear bifocals in public so I can see both near and far, and being out and seeing just how much my eyes have worsened over the last year was a sad reminder of how I should’ve upgraded my prescription before the damn trip to Hawaii. So now the vast expanses of the Pacific will be a bit blurry. It just sucks that I have to travel with the damn things at all. The last time we went on vacation 7 years ago I only needed reading glasses.