We rebooted my computer while holding down the ‘alt’ key. It’s supposed to fix errors that accumulate on the drive and make things run faster. It seems to have helped a lot. Then I backed up on the Time Machine.

A few nights ago I had a dream Tom was going for a job interview somewhere but was still working his regular job. His bosses knew about the interview and didn’t seem to have a problem with it.

In my last dream, someone tried to rape me in a field, and as I told Andy, the good thing about being so fat and ugly is knowing this is so unlikely to happen for real. “You’re too obsessed with your weight,” he told me. Yeah, we all have our “rational” and silly fears and one of mine (besides Tom and I growing old with no one to help us) is getting so fat no matter what I eat and how much I exercise that I get so damn big I can barely wipe my own ass.

After the results of the lab testing come back I will then make a decision as far as what to do about my weight. I may not have much choice if this is truly how I naturally am meant to be. Just like we can’t always be taller just because we may want to be, well, we can’t always be thinner. If we could then so many of us wouldn’t be so big. Right now I only know I am NOT dieting before or during Hawaii.

I guess lipid profiling has to do with cholesterol, according to Andy. We may go to the lab tomorrow afternoon cuz the tests require 9 hours of fasting beforehand. I’ll be getting up around the time he gets in from work, so that would be a good time. Then we’ll go out to eat afterward. No guarantees, though. If something comes up then it will have to wait. Again, I don’t want to think about my health or weight till after the trip. I’m still pretty sure nothing’s wrong with me anyway. That would be my guess unless I am ever told otherwise.

We got our flight info and are going to be in the back row of 1st class on both flights – yes! No unruly kids to possibly be kicking the back of our chairs while its equally rude mother just sits there and allows it to do so.

The huge loud dog just outside the outskirts of the park makes me glad for once that my neighbors are always home, even if they aren’t exactly our immediate neighbors. On the rare occasion that its owners take off, the fucker is so damn loud that late at night you can hear it in certain parts of the house. It’s barely audible compared to how Jesse’s dogs used to be, but there’s no doubt what it is.

Got up just before 2pm today and heard the usual landscaping and traffic sounds till after 4:00. I stopped and briefly chatted with Hazel along the way when I was out running. Sweet but not all there Hazel, sweeping away on the common area that’s the park’s responsibility and virtually devoid of leaves because the park keeps up on it often enough. I should know. I hear them when I’m up and about.

rubs achy knees Sometimes I wonder if running is as overrated as racism.