Sometimes we don’t realize we’ve missed something till it’s back in our lives again. I realize some may say that it should be just as hard for me to trust Kim and Aly as it may be for them to trust me and that I could be being played and I could be lied to again in the future, etc. I don’t think Kim’s playing me, though. I know she’s played Molly before, but she doesn’t have the mentality to carry it this far and they were never the friends we once were. She wouldn’t have shared pics with me either.

She lost over 100 pounds in 2 years, wow! She shared a couple of face shots and yes, I can tell she’s lost weight, but she still looks bad. She has what she calls dark blond curly hair that looks more like light brown to me. It’s too short, too. She has blue eyes and always wears glasses. Her face is still huge and her nose is like a pyramid. She’s 5‘4” too, so not quite as tall as in the dream.

Anyway, life is about taking chances, and if I can change so can they. I don’t think I’ll be played or lied to simply because things are different now. The things they sometimes weren’t forthright about (like when Aly would deny she was friends with Kim or Molly) aren’t an issue these days, so other than white lies, I don’t see what they could really bullshit me on. The point is, life is about change, chances and risks. If it doesn’t work out in the end, then oh well. I hope it does, but nothing’s ever guaranteed and I accept that. Besides, it’s not like these people ever beat me up or burned my house down or stole our car or assaulted Tom or anything serious like that.

And why forgive them and not my own mother? Because they didn’t slap me around. She did. They didn’t say hurtful things to me when I was just a kid. She did. They didn’t pawn me off on the state. She did. They didn’t say, “Try it again. Maybe next time you’ll succeed,” when I was in the hospital with a broken arm after throwing myself out a window at 17. She did. I’ll always appreciate the financial and material things my parents gave me, but that’s an awful lot to forgive someone for, biology involved or not.

What’s funny is that while I would’ve guessed I had a 5% chance of reconnecting with Aly, I would’ve given Kim a flat-out zero. I just never thought we’d ever be friends again under any circumstances yet she’s the one I’ve been communicating with. Making up and catching up with my old buddy feels good. The silliness I once rolled my eyes at now puts a smile on my face and sometimes encourages a giggle or two, too. She’s a definite comedian of sorts.

Wish I could be as creative as she seems, but it’s looking like I may lose NaNo because I’m struggling to come up with enough ideas to keep Flora “stepping into psycho.” I did get another idea, however, when we were out earlier (we went to Walmart to donate my old glasses, get rat treats, and then some pizza). Can’t share it with Tom, though, as much as I want to because he’s going to be reading it before I submit it to my Amazon publishers and I don’t want to spoil it for him.

I don’t understand, though. Two of my books were recently DLd via KU and KOLL. Great. But both say the number of pages read is more than the books actually have. Maybe they combine them or something? Must’ve DLd more than two books or it’s more than two customers, probably the latter.

Anyway, I’m LMAO at the dream Kim said she had in regards to us taking over “Trumpty Dumpty,” even if it’s obvious that she made it up. Wish I could say I had such interesting dreams, but instead I had random nonsensical snippets of this and that. Some guy trying to tell me his dick weighed 25 pounds, my deceased parents calling me, me struggling to ride a bike that had something wrong with it, me hugging Kathleen excitedly when I saw her. She didn’t seem to be as excited to see me, though, so I hope that’s not a sign of anything. I’m sure that inevitable “change” has got to happen sooner or later, though. They always blow me off, in the end, no matter how much they may seem to like me… unless I don’t like them, of course.

Found out what the “procedure” is all about that Aly’s having. It’s got something to do with removing the uterus lining for those that have heavy periods. Kim had it done a few years ago and said it’s no big deal. It’s similar to what my GYN wanted to do but only a sample of the lining for testing. Not getting the feeling anymore that Aly’s time is limited, though, so that’s good.

Yesterday it rained but today it was nice. We went walking for a half-hour. It was cool in the shade and warm in the sun. The sun seemed so obnoxiously bright even with my transition lenses.

We ordered our first Smart plug. My laptop is hooked up to a big monitor and the monitor sometimes crashes. This way, instead of diving under the desk to unplug and replug it, I can just tell Alexa to stop and restart it.

I also grabbed another box of Amberen since I didn’t want to stop it too soon and invite the lightheadedness back. It doesn’t do much for hot flashes but I haven’t been very hot flashy for about a week now. That could be due to the cooler weather. We’re getting down to 37° tomorrow night.

I also got a couple of coloring books, one adult coloring book called Dirty Little Housewife (this oughta be interesting) and a Barbie fashion one.

As much as I love pink, I’m getting so tired of looking at this bright pink hallway of ours. We should have done the second bedroom with that and put the lavender in the hallway. I want to whiteout the hallway but decided we may as well wait until the new roof is installed next summer because we’re going to have to touch up the bathroom ceiling. This way we can do it all at once.

Dan, the owner of PB is really nice but I wish he had more time, money and motivation. The site’s .com certificate expired and I had trouble getting in through Safari. I had to come in via Firefox until he told me to switch it to .net. The site has been running slow and I still wish he would add a few more features, but he doesn’t have the time or the money. To be honest I don’t think he has the desire either.

No loud car this weekend. Love that it’s not living here anymore. Can’t help but wonder, though, was it cuz of my complaint?