Okay, no more going out for walks until after dark. I'm tired of being interrupted! I'm out there to exercise, not socialize. If there are two things I hate being interrupted during it's working out and writing. Interrupt me when I'm watching TV, interrupt me when I'm cleaning, but stay away during those other times!

This time it was by a potential resident with a foreign accent I couldn't place asking about a house going for $169,000 on the corner of Farlan and some other street close to the front gate. The guy said they were looking for a 3-bedroom and asked about the place in general. I told him that while everybody has their own definition of what's quiet and what's not, be prepared for a lot of traffic, daily landscaping, and excessive planes.

Speaking of landscaping, a resident was blasting one of those really loud blowers in the middle of the street and it was already 7-fucking-30 at night. However, given how old he looked and the way he didn't seem very steady on his feet and was turning the thing on and off, I question his senility.

It was gorgeous out and got up to 77° inside the house. Sitting here wearing next to nothing with the fan on and loving it. It won't last, though, because rainy weather is soon to return.

There's this ugly-smelling thing that grows this time of year that was pretty prominent. I don't know what it is but it doesn't smell nice at all. Hardly smelled any jasmine or anything nice. Maybe a barbecue or two but that's about it. Because we've had more rain than usual, it's amazingly green out there.

Twilight would be a good time to go out because then while the fugly turkeys may still be out obstructing the roads, I can see better and don't have to worry about skunks. But at this point, I would rather dodge the socializers, prospective buyers, and dog walkers and just be careful of skunks.

I walked longer than I usually do. I was out there for 25 minutes and I'm guessing that 5 of them were spent talking to the guy, so about 20 minutes of walking instead of 10 or 15. I went down Cremont and then instead of heading right toward the lake, I went left toward Farlan and then came up from there.

My red shorts are perfect for workouts unless I'm on the bike. They're so tight that they're not comfortable for regular use, especially sitting or bending over with this fat gut. But they're great for working out as snug and secure as they are. They're very short so my fat thighs don't cause them to bunch in the middle and they've got a pocket I can carry my phone in to play music.

Just a little over 2 hours and I can begin my Nano project! Worked on Roomies last night which is one of those never-ending kinds of projects that I can add to whenever I feel like it.

I can only get notifications to turn off so much on my phone which is what I use to do my stories on. I can silence the dings and vibes but a banner still appears at the top of the screen with the start of messages, which is just as distracting. So I may as well leave notifications turned on. I'll just try to work when I think I'm less likely to be disrupted.

Now for my bad but not surprising news. I ended up anxious yesterday so I'm skipping my meds today. So much for hoping it was a brand issue. I'd say it was the meds, regardless of brand, if it weren't for the fact that I can take it sometimes without anxiety and sometimes get anxious when I skip. Hard to believe it doesn't have at least some influence, though. Tom still thinks it's mostly hormonal and that once that settles in, anything else that may trigger it shouldn't be a problem anymore.

I did splurge on some food yesterday that isn't good for anxiety (sugary treats/frozen pizza) but I've pretty much given up hope of ever finding out what it is much less of it going away. This isn't going away. Whether it's mostly the medication, mostly hormones, or a medical disorder I one day acquired, I just have a bad feeling I'm stuck with it for life. It's not only a horrible feeling but it's nothing I could adapt to or simply get used to.

I suppose I should try to tell myself that some anxiety is actually somehow good for me. That it’s better than being paralyzed or blind. That it could be worse even though this is bad enough. That it makes the good days seem better. That I’m “lucky” because other things are going well for me. But you know what? I'd be bullshitting the shit out of myself so what would be the point?

I thought of quitting until August which should give me enough time to get my numbers satisfactory for labs, but that may be a shock to my system to suddenly take it every day after four months off, so for the rest of the year, I'll just skip when I get anxious.