After sleeping great and not remembering any of my dreams, I awoke to find an automatic voice message telling me to call a toll-free number and provide a code number they gave in the message. I never called because I knew it was a scam. They were either going to say they were from the IRS or FBI and try to extort money from me. The question is how they connected my name to my number? I’m guessing from a site that was hacked that has that info?

Siegfried in Austria really liked the quick live video I made and shared on Facebook. Didn’t think anyone would comment looking as fat, old and ugly as I do these days, LOL. Nice to know some people still see beyond that. Siegfried said it was exciting to see me face to face but couldn’t understand spoken English like he could written English, and even that is hard for him. I guess those in Austria aren’t mandated to learn English like they are in Germany. I have an easier time with written German as opposed to spoken but I can understand some. I think with a few months in a German-speaking country, not that I would want to be in one that long, I could get pretty good at it.

Went out for a walk but only for about 10 minutes. It was lovely out, though chilly. Good weather for a brisk walk but not for sitting out with a book or something. It was almost warm in the sunlight with no breeze but cool with a breeze. It started off sunny but then it became partly cloudy. The rain is to return tomorrow.

Was disappointed that the loud car came in last night at 6:30 and I worried that they wouldn’t leave before I crashed but they did. They left a couple of hours later. I’m hoping that the fact that they haven’t been around as regularly means they finally got a life and have taken on some responsibilities, even if it won’t be for long.

Yesterday I felt pretty shitty. I was anxious and a little tired. This turned to frustration and depression. For the millionth time these last 4+ years, I was racking my brain trying to figure out how to stop it. Again I was convinced the medication was the main culprit. I’m just so confused because there are things that say it’s not and things that say it is. The fact that the days I skipped and felt better makes me think it is. But I didn’t skip today despite feeling anxious yesterday after taking it and I’m fine.

I did, however, snip the corner of the oblong pills with the pig clippers. That’d make it not quite 75 mcg but not half of that either which would be too low. Assuming the pills really are responsible for at least some of my anxiety, I’m trying to find a way to lower the dose without going hypo. I would still take the hypo symptoms over the anxiety and I’m damn near ready to quit because I’m so sick of this shit! It’s like an endless cycle back and forth, year after year, and I’ve had enough! I’ll just go by how I feel until my next trip to the lab, but I think after that I’ll cut corners every day no matter how I feel and see if I can make it the rest of the year without anxiety. If not, then yes. It’s time to seriously consider quitting if only for a while or cutting way back. People did live with this shit before medication came around so I think I can too.

Had fun playing with the rats, even if it was a little work getting Woody home in the end. He’s learning, though, and Fuzzy’s learning more, too. He’s still way ahead of his brother and getting even friendlier. Didn’t think he’d ever want to mix interacting with me with his exploration adventures, but he was happily climbing all over me.