After giving it much thought, I’m going to try my best to follow my head and not my heart, be smart and just stay put. Since there is no perfect place or perfect climate other than maybe Maui which we could never afford, we’re going to make this our permanent home. Tom doesn’t mind where we live and I realize that I not only don’t have the energy I used to for making such big moves but moving would be pointless for the most part. Noise is everywhere these days and the only benefit would be that Florida would be warmer and cheaper. But why swap the winters for humidity? Why go from one noisy place to another? Why have to get new doctors, new banks, new stores, new everything?

This way I could still have fun customizing a new house. We’re pretty sure the park would let us replace this house with something new, even if it had to be one floor. This house is too old to be worth replacing windows, redoing walls, floors, shower stalls and things like that.

I know I bitch and complain that traffic wakes me up but that or something else would only do the same thing if we moved. The motorcycles are much worse in Florida. They were maddening in just the few days we were there. If most vehicles really ever are electric, this isn’t going to happen anytime soon. Plus, the boom stereos aren’t going away ever.

The only thing I don’t get is why I don’t adapt and haven’t gotten used to sleeping through all the traffic when I’ve been here almost six years. How many more years do I need to get used to it???

I also don’t get why everyone else can move when they want to but Tom and Jodi. Money held us back in Phoenix for years, the economy trapped us in Jessie’s trailer for years, and if we still wanted to move from here, it would be years before we could. Yet everyone else that has a problem with wherever they are gets to up and leave. I’m happy for them but what have they got that we don’t that makes them able to just split when they want to?

Anyway, my sleep has been cursed all my life in just about every place I’ve ever lived. To ask if it’s really cursed or not is a no-brainer. No one happens to have CRD and be the lightest sleeper on earth that’s not sleep-cursed so that much is obvious. Therefore, knowing this, why move? I barely have the energy half the time to walk down the street let alone move cross country.

Staying here may not be what I want but it’s smart and doable. Life isn’t usually about what we want it to be anyway but more about what’s best and or meant to be. Well, I definitely seem meant to be in the noisier places.

So what if traffic wakes me up? I can usually go back to sleep at some point. So what if it’s a bit too cold in the winter? Summers are gorgeous here. So what if there are planes? Planes fly everywhere (they’ve been quieter which may be due to the weather).

The only benefits to moving would be that we could go someplace warmer, cheaper, and probably to a smaller city where there’d be fewer people and less traffic. But Oregon taught me that fewer people and less traffic don’t always bring more peace. The loud vehicle craze hadn’t hit yet back when we lived in Oregon, but every other car there had a loud stereo. I was further from the street and had a really loud air cleaner to help keep me from getting woken up as often, but air cleaners that loud don’t exist anymore. Everything for inside the house has gotten quieter, not the outside.

The more I think about it, even if I had all the energy in the world, I don’t see how we could benefit enough by moving to be worth it. Yeah, I may complain about all the loud traffic, the daily landscaping, and regular projects, but there would only be both similar and new things to annoy me elsewhere. If traffic didn’t wake me up as much in Florida, the storms would. So what difference would it make? Why not stay where we’re safe from hurricanes and don’t have to worry about excessive bugs and alligators?

I don’t have the energy anymore to do much walking and riding around the park but when I do, I don’t have to worry about gators or major humidity. I don’t even have to worry about stray and possibly vicious dogs since it’s a gated community. Should I really give all that up?

I love adventure and change as far as experiencing new places and I’ll always wonder what it would have been like to live in Florida. No doubt about that! But there are other things to consider and be realistic about.

California has the Death with Dignity Act. Florida, like most states, will care more about a dying dog than a terminally ill person.

California has its share of car stereos but Florida actually promotes that shit under their so-called twisted Freedom of Expression Act.

California is liberal. Florida is not.

Also, if we stay in Cali it would be a lot easier to vacation in Hawaii if we could afford to do so and I had enough energy for it. It isn’t like I’m bedridden and can’t do anything at all, it’s just not as easy as it used to be and I don’t have an abundance of energy like I used to. I don’t know if it’s age, hormones, thyroid-related or something else, but it’s how I’ve been for the last 5 years or so, like it or not.

Later…

I don’t get the “guinea” part of “guinea pig,” but I definitely get the “pig” part. My God, can these things eat! The cute and funny little devils now ring the bell at the end of their wood chews and scrape their teeth on their ceramic bowl to get my attention as well as by screaming. Maybe they aren’t as dumb as I thought, LOL.

Managed to walk through a Greece puzzle. Such a beautiful country.

Today marks 5 weeks of no anxiety. Yesterday I almost felt like I was creeping a bit close to the border but it was nothing significant. Another week and I’ll be entering the critical zone of the experiment and will begin to get somewhat of an idea if I may be on to something or not.

I have PMS hunger. Thought I was done with that along with the huge water fluctuations but maybe I am having fake PMS. God knows everything is pissing me off.

The next Camp NaNo is just a little over six weeks away so I really hope my last NaNo project is done by then. I’d say I’m about two-thirds of the way through the story.

I have a couple of story ideas for July. If anyone sees this, tell me which plot you like better (unless you don’t have an opinion either way).

Plot Number 1 is where a female prisoner falls for the warden of the prison. I’m not sure if I’m going to have the warden be a woman or a man but they come to like each other quite a bit. The warden lives on the prison grounds and eventually sneaks the inmate into their home. Things head south quickly and the inmate is abused by the warden. The inmate then has three choices. She can either try to escape the prison grounds altogether and hope for the best. She can do nothing at all, stay put and continue to take the abuse from the warden. Or she can return to prison even if that means getting an extended sentence.

Plot Number 2 is a little simpler. An FBI agent (again, I’m not sure if it will be a woman or a man) sees a woman who’s either a witness or a victim of some crime giving a statement to the police. She then deceives the witness/victim into believing she needs to be taken to a safe house. Telling the witness that the safe houses are full at the moment, she offers to take her in. Then she finds herself in the same scenario the prison inmate does and has to try to escape somehow.

Now Norton’s warning me that it’s a dangerous site.