I knew it. I knew my gut feeling, 6th sense, woman’s intuition, or whatever the hell you want to call it was right on. Dr. Rugg said my cervix was still inflamed and the culture was bloody still. She said that if they can’t get a reading, which I know they won’t, a GYN is gonna call me to set up an appointment to look at my cervix through I microscope. At this point, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if I did need a hysterectomy or had cancer. Why not? This would be the perfect time for one. Especially since God obviously thinks my desire for a child is sinful and this is how he’s punishing me for wanting something I’m not supposed to ever have.

I had refused to talk all day, but Tom kept insisting I should talk, so finally I let him have it. He should be thrilled if I do have to have a hysterectomy. I suppose a part of me would be thrilled, too. After all, I’d be giving up those periods I hate so much.

I just feel so fucking punished! I said that there’s always a problem when I have sex. Well, never have I had sex with anyone as much as I have with Tom, so of course this is why I’m having problems like I never have before.

Speaking of sex, I quit doing the sex chart. It just got so old and boring. Also for next year’s period chart, in which I’m sure to get all of them unless they do take my insides out, I’m just gonna mark the day that I get it.

I’m on a mission now. I gave that 70s station a break for a while to get established. Now, though, it’s time to get to know the DJs and I have a way with DJs as I do with animals. Then, continue taping my collection of oldies. I’ve been trying to call them to make a request and the damn phone’s been ringing and ringing.

I hear a guy talking in the background. I noticed that when I spoke to Andy earlier. I guess we’ve got a crossed line, but at least it’s nothing like when I was crossed with that lady at Crystal Creek. I couldn’t even make a phone call if she were on the line.

I finally got through to the DJ and he said he has both of the songs I wanted to know if they had. Yup, they’ve been building up. He’s gonna try to take care of them both. I hope. I still say that a lot of the time they either never play your request or play it 5 hours after you’ve made the request. See, just now he played a song I didn’t request. It’s the weekend too, so he may be backed up, but I hope not, cuz I really think there are more people into the current stuff. Way more. Like 80% of the population.

OK, now it’s time to write about the shit poor Andy’s going through before I get into Bob’s letters to Kim.

We moved the old water tank out back today. In the morning, first, we both weeded out front. Anyway, as we were moving the thing out Andy called. I told him I was tied up and couldn’t talk. He said, “Yes you can. It’s an emergency.”

Pam and John woke him up and were pounding on his door for half an hour. Luckily his door’s nice and thick so they didn’t get in. It’s a good thing he didn’t have the flimsy door that he had on Belmont Ave. when Tracy and this guy he rejected tried to get in. They were about to make it in when some butch in the building scared them off.

Another song now, but not my request. Every time I write “another song,” that means that he’s still playing something I didn’t request. I may have to call him a few times to get him to play 1 of the 2 requests I put in.

Anyway, back to Andy. He called me after he called the cops. I told him to call his office and both the office and the cops arrived at the same time. Remember how I said that they gave him a coffee table as a gift? Well, I had told him, “Look. You didn’t pay anything for it, so if returning it means getting them off your ass, I would, cuz you don’t need that shit.”

Another song.

So, they brought back stuff he gave them that he didn’t want back and gave the pigs the table to give to them and hopefully that’s it. I hope these aren’t the type of people who are gonna need their asses severely kicked in order to get them off his ass for good.

Anyway, I left him a message late yesterday afternoon and about an hour ago to see if he’s OK. I’m sure he is, though. I have no bad vibes at all.

Another song.

I slept from about 5 PM till 12:30 AM and I am still quite tired, so maybe Robin can help me to take a nap.

Tom said to wake him up between 5:00 and 6:00 for fun. Sure. I could use a good orgasm and of course, he’ll just get hard cuz he enjoys humiliating me in that way so much and is more afraid than I am to make that kid.

When I let him have it earlier, I reminded him not to remind me about getting my way. Especially since I’m being forced to give up a biggie for him. My right to have a child and that all my life I’ve had things taken, denied and been in one weird, different, strange, abnormal situation after another. Leave it to me to be the one to be with a guy like Tom.

Another song.

I also reminded him that he won the weight bet cuz he wanted to and the reason why he hasn’t won the sex bet is cuz he didn’t want to. He always wanted to lose weight much more than have a kid.

Once again, I demanded the truth, but no. The asshole still had to go and try to bullshit me all the while saying, “I understand your beliefs and your feelings, but I don’t agree with them and I’ve been telling you the truth all along.”

Yeah, right! Does he really think I’m that stupid? He tells me that I’m a smart girl, yet he still thinks I’m stupid enough to be fooled by his little game? I don’t think so!

Kim called while I was asleep, and he answered. She’ll be calling back in the morning.

Another song.

Later...

I was just going through some stuff I want to type in, but first, what the fuck is it with DJs never playing my requests?! The asshole just said that there were 3 songs coming up after the commercials and none of them are any I requested.

Anyway, Bob finally wrote something different to Kim. All his corny fantasies since she’s been playing this I-love-you-all-of-a-sudden game. There was this one part that was so funny when he said he admired her tits while asleep, then she supposedly rolled over onto her back. Now how could he admire her tits if she weren’t already on her back? He must have X-ray vision.

Another song.

Later...

I think I’ll hang up my mission to resume my music collection with KHITS, too. The asshole never played either song and they always pull this shit on me. KOOL used to do the same thing, but not as much as these people. These people always do it. KOOL just did it most of the time. How do they expect to get good ratings and keep so many listeners? The number has been busy ever since I called in my requests two hours ago.

Well, I’m gonna see if I can take that nap for a while.

Later...

I wasn’t able to fall back to sleep, but we did screw exactly the way I said we would. I believe him when he says he gets close and I always have, but I don’t believe him when he said after we were done how he was bummed that he didn’t get off.

Andy called and we talked for nearly an hour. He says that he thinks this shit with Pam and John is over. Let’s hope so.

When I asked him what he thought of me praying to Robin he said he didn’t think it was a good idea in his opinion. He said that spirits can’t help grant wishes. Only God can. Well, I explained to him why I have a hard time praying to someone that’s obviously determined to deny me something that’s supposed to be morally correct and who can let a 2-timing murderer off to go home to his kids. Andy says OJ will pay for his crimes in hell. That sounds nice and I’d like to believe that, but I don’t know this for sure. I told him that since he believes in God and since praying seems to work for him to please ask him to leave me alone. I won’t bug him anymore for the kid which he’s obviously upset with me for asking him for and to just leave me alone. There’s no need for him to go giving me female problems just cuz I asked for something that’s not meant to be. I know it’s not meant to be and I won’t bug him.

I filled him in on the situation with Dr. Rugg.

Tom’s watching TV now and at some point, we’ll be doing some more weeding and getting the new water tank in and he wants me to try to trim the sides of his hair so his hair isn’t in his face.

Later...

I was gonna write earlier, but something came up. We were gonna pull weeds, but we decided against it. The weeds out here are killers. They have thorns on them and are like nothing back east. I used to pull weeds at my parent’s house with no problems.

I’m doing laundry now and later or tomorrow I’ll be trimming Tom’s hair.

David will be calling later today about getting the new water tank. He doesn’t know if he’ll be installing it today.

I forgot to mention another funny story that Andy told me from the New Testament. He was telling me the story of Noah’s Ark. He said that the whole world, except for Noah didn’t believe in God and that pissed him off cuz God’s jealous. So he decided to wipe out the whole world except for Noah and his family. This was about 6 or 7 thousand years ago. Well, God ordered Noah to build a boat and provided him with all the measurements and tools. Meanwhile, all the people in town laughed at him saying that there wasn’t any rain and that he was a fool to believe that God could’ve ordered him to build this boat. Then God provided him with all the proper animals. Then God told Noah to seal himself and his family into the boat. Then he made it rain hard and consistently for 40 days and 40 nights and drowned the whole world except for Noah and his family. He and his family restarted the population from there. He and his family and Adam and Eve supposedly lived for 800-900 years to restart the population.

Tom and I were talking about it and he said that it goes against what the scientists say. He says it’s impossible to cover the land with just 40 days and nights of rain.

Andy said he’s never found anything in the bible that says being gay is a sin, but Tom says he’s seen it in the several Bibles that he’s got. Well, then if God really considers gays a sin, then he has to consider everyone a sin. Whether you’re gay, straight, white, black…that’s who you are, period. You can’t help that any more than you can help what foods and colors you like.

Another thing that seems funny is how people can say incest is wrong, yet Adam and Eve’s kids were fucking each other to populate the earth. Tom said he doesn’t remember ever reading anything about incest being wrong. That seems awfully weird that God could consider incest OK, but being gay wrong.

The next journal is gonna be the dog one from my parents.