I figured it out for sure! What took me so long to realize this? Yes, Tom’s not cumming for the 2½ years he didn’t was a combination of the positioning, reluctance to have a kid, etc. However, the reason why he cums so little (now that we can do his favorite position) and has stopped cumming altogether, isn’t just cuz he’s hesitant on the kid and doesn’t want it as much. It’s cuz he doesn’t think I’d be a good mother. I know this has got to be it. I’ve thought of this before, but this has got to be it way more than it’s a case of his not really wanting a kid all that much. Of course, he’s not gonna tell his wife how he truly feels, but this is it. This is really it for sure. It’s not so much about his not wanting a kid as much, or him instilling patience in me, or him having to see me go through and him have to deal with a miscarriage, or things that go with being pregnant or having a kid, or him teasing me and making me wait on him. That’s part of it, but the main reason, I now fully believe, is me. It’s about his not believing I’d be a good mother. Well, I don’t know if I can argue with him on that one, but still, he should’ve told me this. Just like he should’ve told me other things pertaining to sex, besides just doing it. There is some good in this sudden, obvious observation, though, and that is that if I’m right (and I don’t see how I couldn’t be right at this point), then it sure is gonna help curb my desire for a child, cuz I don’t want to be having a child with someone who doubts me. For me to doubt myself is one thing, but for my own mate to doubt me is another thing. If he doesn’t think I’d be a good mother, then we shouldn’t be having a kid and God is doing the right thing.

Once again, I wonder if the best thing I can do, even if it’s the only thing I can do, would be to count the blessings I do have, the freedom I do have, avoid sex during mid-cycle to help God help us miss it, even though he doesn’t need the help, and be thankful we’ll never need to deal with birth control and its problems, hassles and side effects.

Still, I really think this is it - he doesn’t have faith in my ability to handle a child, but I’m sure he doesn’t have the heart to tell me, figuring it’d hurt my feelings and even make me bitter and angry at him. But for him to go from cumming about every two weeks to not cumming for nearly two months - there is a reason. If he’s supposed to be so horny as much as he says, and if I’m supposed to be that good in bed - there is a reason. And that reason isn’t just him being hesitant about a kid - it’s me.

Anyway, I called Becky to wish her a happy birthday, then I spoke to Tammy and boy let me tell you - God does not like that family. There really is a very obvious, undeniable family curse. Now, I don’t know how much of this is hype, but Becky’s rheumatoid arthritis is still bad and she needs surgery on her leg or knee on the 11th.

Meanwhile, Tammy’s thyroid disease is turning fatal, so the hypochondriac claims. I guess they’ve tried her on different medications over the last year to no avail. She says her thyroid is so swollen it’s affected her voice and now it’s affecting her esophagus. She’s gained 17 pounds and is over 200 pounds.

She’ll live.

I just created yet another cool setup with Gizzy’s tubes and all that, but it’d be nice if I had the mouse to go with it. Yes, working with those Sam tubes was a real disaster and he escaped.

Anyway, I made a simple, yet nice design that’ll be way easier for when we bomb. Now all I have to do is coax him into the little tubes on one side of Mary’s cage, then detach the tubes on the other side and put a cover on it. I can no longer stand those unstable, very hard-to-work-with Sam tubes.

Later...

Yippee yaaaaaaaaah!!!!! Just caught Gizzy. Now that’s a record time between escape and capture!

Anyway, I put the Sam tubes in a ring shape and they’re resting down inside the aquarium, standing upright and leaning against the left side of the cage. Then right next to that, are all but one T and one straight tube, leading all the way up to the left side of Mary’s cage, which sits on a wooden shelf that’s always been there. On the right side of Mary’s cage, is a T with a straight tube attached to it and it’d be perfect to add a hideaway up there when I can.