I’m so fucking pissed right now. No, I’m beyond pissed. I’m furious!

Trouble’s finally moved in behind us, and I know without a doubt there will be trouble. Just one look told me that. As soon as they get settled, they’ll be notorious for all kinds of noise, particularly music.

We got a whole family of freeloaders back there. I saw at least 2 or 3 little kids and 2 adult females. If there’s a man in the picture, I don’t know.

It’s like - fuck! Here we go again. The same old shit all over again, though they’re not at arm’s length this time. They’re gonna drive me crazy with base thumping like hell, they’re gonna trash our land, and you know what? There won’t be a damn thing we can do about it. Whites don’t win going up against minorities whether they have connections or not. I’ll be damned if I’ll make one single little complaint once their shit hits the fan. Why would I? So they can cry racism and harass us more? Maybe get me thrown in jail while they’re at it? I don’t think so!

I’m just so fucking ripped shitting mad right now - ugh! It’s always me that has to get stuck with this shit. Why?! Why God? Why do you insist other’s business be mine? There’s just no escaping what we moved from, is there? I knew it was just a matter of time too, before the shit hit the fan again. I’m totally cursed when it comes to neighbors in this state. Totally cursed.

Anyway, these are the kinds of people that are home all day and that live outdoors. You might have one adult in the household working, but even worse so, I’d bet they’re Section 8. Section 8 with nothing better to do, but blast music and hang outside (in between drug sales). The adults are going to feel too cooped up with the kids inside the house, they’re gonna be like - so what if there are snakes, scorpions and black widows out there? - They’re gonna put the kids outside, and knowing they’re too young to be left unsupervised (at least, I think they’d know that), they’re not gonna just sit there bored. They’re gonna put a nice big fat stereo speaker or two in their windows and blast it outside. Mexicans, like we got to the north of us, are very few and far between; that work and that keep their shit to themselves.

It’s always the blacks and Mexicans that have to come and ruin an otherwise peaceful place. Always! Yeah, congratulations, blacks and Hispanics! You made a die-hard racist here, didn’t you? I’m just tired of God and his obvious obsession with throwing these kinds of sick fucks in my face and having them butt into my peace, my life, etc. It’s like he’s saying, “Oh, no you don’t! You cannot live in peace and block out others from your life. If you’re not going to see other people, in or out of your house, you’re going to at least hear them. You cannot ignore them.”

It’s like he wants to constantly remind me that these people exist. As if I could forget! And why must the past always follow me? Poverty always follows me. The blacks, the Hispanics, the subsidy, etc. Like something wants to remind me of where I came from. Again, like I could forget even if I wanted to. Yes, Maricopa’s just as riddled with Mexicans as the city is, but not many of these 10-acre lots have rentals/freeloaders on them. Right now, we and the people at Dan’s are the only whites out of all the houses you can see well enough from this house, which is now 5 houses. I can’t say what’s renting the middle house, but from the looks of it, the farthest house is definitely freeloader-infested. I can tell that by their dumpy cars and the way they trash their place. Although a lot of owners out here tend to be just as big of slobs. That much I will say. Still, you can almost always look at a house out here and tell if whites live there or not.

They’ve given me every reason to hate them and every reason to know there’ll be trouble from back there. There’s nothing to say there won’t be. What I don’t get is - why not just stay in the city if you like noise and commotion? Why would these people want to come all the way out here? To spoil it for others? And damn George for being such a freeloader-lover!

There’s still no power hooked up. They’re doing what we did. They’re all staying crammed in this little shit trailer till they can get into the house. They have a horse trailer too, but it doesn’t appear there are any horses in it. I hope not. They don’t have fences for that. It also appears they may have one beat-up car and one OK pickup.

I really loved sitting in here when I was up during the daytime, hearing nothing but peace and quiet, and now I’ll be forced to give that up. I’ll have to start sleeping with the fan on high and having music on all the time. Even when I don’t want to hear it. It’s just that if I’m going to be forced to listen to music, I’d just assume have it be my own. Guess there was a reason why I had Tom put nice speakers on the computer yesterday! I have one in here and one out in the living room, so I could listen to the online radio stations while working out. So, as soon as the place goes thump thump with the sound of their base, I can have music out there, too.

I used to get bummed when freeloading trouble like this would move in next to me (behind me in this case), and I’m bummed, alright, but not nearly as bummed as I am furious. I’m so pissed at God for doing this to me over and over again. What’s he gonna do? Send them out in a boat after us once we get on the boat and out in the middle of the ocean? I wouldn’t put it past him. Makes me wonder if he’d preferred I’d married a freeloader with a dozen kids. And it’s usually those with kids that tend to be worse. I’m just so pissed knowing we’ll be forced to be victimized for years till one of us moves (they tend to hate us as much as we hate them).

They’ll love using our fence as a clothesline, once it goes up, but I’d rather that than have their trash dumped over it, and once the plants we plant back there grow tall and bushy, we won’t be able to see the clothes draped over the fence much. It’s just a pity that it’s going to be 6 months to a year before we can’t see them and their shit. Couldn’t you have waited another year, George?! For now, they’re in both sight and sound. Hopefully, it won’t be too long before they’re out of sight, if never out of sound. I also hope it won’t be long before they’re in the house, so I can hear their house stereo which isn’t quite as fierce as car stereos. Them being in a trailer is gonna tempt them to blast that car stereo more often, till the harsh roads fuck the thing up, not that they won’t fix it as fast as it breaks.

Why? Why come here, though, when they can sit in the city and have a million more drug customers and the opportunity to cause trouble? Their car stereo will work better there and there are more people there to hear it, so why come here? See, this tells me all the more that it’s God sending me trouble. They no doubt hate whites and want to ruin a nice, peaceful place to live. Unless George said anything, they don’t know us and Dan’s people are white, though common sense should say so. Nice new, well-kept homes owned by Mexicans? I don’t think so. The question is, how many years will they be here? It doesn’t matter, though, because together George and God would just send me a new batch to pick on me. I’m just sooo glad I don’t have to hear their car doors, them screaming or their dogs barking in this house if they get one.

George’s pickup has been there a couple of times this morning. It looks like he even hauled them in some water. Oh, how sweet of you, George.

I’ll be damned if I’ll make the mistake of bitching to Tom about them and letting them come between us this time around. Tom tends to be pretty defensive when it comes to neighbors, and if I bitch about them, all he’s going to do is make excuses for them, play things down, and make it sound like he’s on their side. You know how neighbor-conscious he is. It’s like he worships them or something.

At least I’ll be getting thinner while I listen to their shit. I finally discovered the right combination of food to lose weight without feeling so hungry all the time. I think I already mentioned this meat and potato diet, but anyway, it’s a piece of cake so far. In fact, I couldn’t even finish all of yesterday’s allotted food, and only ended up having about 900 calories. I’m already down 2 pounds too, to 122. So when I get fat a third time, I’ll know how to kick it back off faster. My body’s still gonna try to fight it once I hit down around 115 by being constipated and all that. I’m still rebelling against nature, so to speak. The question is, will I be able to get down to 110 or lower? You’d think I should be able to if I can comfortably keep my calories down with only one day a week to splurge, but we’ll see. I’m still 35. Not 25.

Later…

I just saw what looked like 2 adult male Mexicans drive a silver jeep-like thing down Ralston, then Meadow Green, then to the house. That’s a nice-looking jeep and pickup for poor, trashy freeloaders. Amazingly, I didn’t hear one beat of music. Not yet, anyway. It’s like the Phoenix freeloaders with all the nice cars, most of them quiet music-wise. It was only a few vehicles that were a source of music. Most of it came from the house which will no doubt be the case with these freeloaders. I’m almost positive none of them work. For all these people to be out and about in the middle of a Monday kind of tells me that. If not all, then some of them will be home all the time. How are all these people going to fit in a 3-bedrroom? That’s what I wondered in Phoenix, too. I swear history’s come to repeat itself all over again! What a chilling, uncanny, eerie resemblance to what we had in Phoenix. It’ll be interesting to see if they come and go every 45 minutes like they did in the city, and if they’re out running around naked at 3:00 in the morning during the summer, although that’d be hard to see from here even without walls.

Troublemakers don’t usually act up right away, though. Once they get settled in is when they act up. Within a week or two we should hear from them. That much I do know. Now I’m not so sure I want porches and a pool. What’s the point of trying to enjoy these things and the peaceful outdoors if the peaceful outdoors isn’t going to be so peaceful? If God can’t bring me to the city, he brings it to me. Even if I complained to George about the noise and trash-dumping and got results, what’s to say they don’t have some vengeful, white-hating friend hiding behind a label that says “biased crimes” waiting to type up a threatening letter and manipulate me into getting my prints on it? I’d know better, though, not to talk to pigs or touch anything they had, but still, I wouldn’t risk it. We’ll just have to take whatever shit they dish out at us.

Later…

Just talked to Tom, who suggested that maybe they were working on the house, but not going to live there, and that the adults working on the house took their kids so they wouldn’t have to find anyone to watch them, but no way. They live there. Why would they bring one trailer, plus a horse trailer, plus another flatbed trailer with God knows what on it, and two vehicles?

Later…

Still haven’t heard any shit yet, but the whole thing just pisses me off. It just pisses me the fuck off so bad! First I had to live in Puerto Rico back east and in Mexico out here. When can I live in the United States?

I can’t believe all the work people put into my bullshit case. With all the copies made of the journals, it’s no wonder they want $40 a month. They gotta get someone to pay for all that ink and paper.

One of the things the public defender showed me right before sentencing (convenient, huh?) was a sheet of paper presumably written by the DA complaining that I referred to the cunt’s boyfriend as “cock,” “it,” etc.

Now since when has it ever been illegal to call someone an “it?” I just don’t get the relevance here, since racism in that form isn’t yet illegal here. Another 5-10 years and they’ll hang us for calling them names like that. Maybe if our lawmakers had to live with them for a while, they wouldn’t be so quick to defend them and shower them with more rights than one could ever imagine any group of people could get.

Lots of clouds and some thunder today, but no rain yet. We did get a little bit of rain last night.

I take that back. It’s raining right now. Big fat raindrops. And the freeloader’s trailers are still here. Because they live here.

Later…

The jeep-like thing just left and this time I got a better look at it. It’s just a pickup with a camper shell and it’s not nice at all. In fact, it’s a piece of shit. The blue pickup’s gone, but the trailers are still here. I take it one, if not both of the trucks will return later, or else those huddled in the trailer would be stranded there. I’m sure that one of the owners of the trucks, if not both, lives there, too. There’s got to be at least 8 of them, counting kids and adults. God knows how many friends, cousins, aunts and uncles will move in with them later on. It’s ok. George won’t mind. Anything for a Section 8. He even said he hated to give one up himself when he was telling us about some other Section 8 nightmare he was evicting. Are there any Section 8s that aren’t nightmares? Makes me wonder.

Later…

The blue pickup just returned.

Holidays are no longer going to be peaceful out here. Holidays like Vet’s Day may be fine, but New Year’s Eve will be rocking. Christmas might even be too, since freeloaders tend to stay home on holidays and have people come to them. Heat and bad weather won’t put a damper on their outdoor antics, either.

God, I feel like I’m in the city that hated to see me go all over again, logging all these freeloading activities, bracing myself in the calm before the storm, knowing I’m in for all kinds of trouble. It’s fated to be and there’s not a damn thing I can do to stop or change it. Only this time, the outcome will differ from the last. I’m not going to jail!

Today’s one of those days where I have no energy whatsoever. I can’t even bring myself to work out. That’s partly cuz of the dreary weather as well as my depression/anger that God could do this to me yet again, and sic a pack of freeloaders on me. Yes, I think I want to move up north if we don’t go on a boat or to a retirement community where there’s a little more money and less trash like this. I’d rather the cold and the snow than this fucking bullshit year after year. I’m really fucking sick of this shit. I’m fed up and I don’t need to take this crap time and time again. A person should have the right to live in peace. Then again, even though there’s less of them up north, God would only see to it that I got stuck with them, so I don’t know. If I’ve got to live with them either way, I may as well do it where the climate’s nicer. I knew the northeast was riddled with Ricans, the southeast was riddled with Cubans, but I had no idea just how infested with scum Mexicans the southwest really was! It’s terrible. I still say there’s more of them than us, but if not, they’re doing a damn good job of catching up. They breed like mice, after all.