I feel really bad for the old lady in Texas who’s been following me for over half a decade now, but who rarely updates her own journal because she’s both old and ill. She has heart problems and breathing problems that require her to be on oxygen.

She wrote that her husband has been acting really strange. He went to the store and returned with pizza and soda, but no groceries. Then she found him on the floor of his bedroom screaming in the middle of the night and called the paramedics. They said he was fine.

Then she called her daughter who’s a nurse and the whole family went with her and her husband to the hospital where they also tried to claim he was “fine.” Insisting he wasn’t fine at all, they did a brain scan and found some bleeding. Once again it goes to show that you can’t always trust “experts,” seeing that she had to go through all that to find out what was wrong with her husband.

It’s sad and scary and again brings about mixed emotions on us not having kids. While I have no regrets because that way I was able to keep my freedom and have all kinds of adventures (there’s enough noise outside of the house anyway), but who can we call when we get older and in a similar situation other than the people who are going to tell us that we’re fine too?

Aly is continuing to ignore the occasional insults I’m making in response to some of her tweets, but childish or not, it kind of feels good to let it all out. The only thing I don’t get is if she’s really been dumped by Kim (and the lack of communication between them suggests she has), then why are they still following each other? I wonder if Aly got Kim to agree not to tweet to her and not to block me in order to try to make it look like she wasn’t getting my tweets and therefore didn’t know I was around. Hard to believe Kim could stick to such an agreement if she did.

Still searching for my happy medium when it comes to my meds. I don’t want to take enough to make me anxious (especially while I’m still in peri), but I don’t want to take too little and invite hypo symptoms back either. I’m still hoping I’ll be more tolerant of it when I hit menopause, which of course still feels like it’s never going to happen. I’m skipping every other day for now because it doesn’t take much for me to be anxious these days. I took it yesterday and was barely borderline anxious for about an hour toward the end of my day, but then I was fine. Skipped today’s dose. Decided to continue the Amberen, and I’m feeling okay so far today. Just some burning and irritation in the crotch. Plus some nightmares last night being that it was the third anniversary of the most terrifying day of my life.

We went to the pool yesterday but the water was surprisingly cool because it was cool in the morning. Solar heating pools in this climate is all wrong. If they heated it properly we could use the pool longer. That’s okay, though. Someday I’ll be in Florida or Hawaii and I’ll be able to swim year-round.

They still have multicolored markings along some of the roads here, as well as some little red flags, but haven’t started digging for whatever it is they’re going to dig for. I just hope they do it while I’m on days, but even if I am, there’s always something going on here and I get tired of listening to it. I swear I will never again live surrounded by so many busy roads! We didn’t have much time to look for a place, though, because the economy was starting to pick up again when we were house-hunting, which meant the prices were increasing. Hopefully, we’ll have time to do a better search of the next place, even though things do and can change, and I may be forever destined to listen to some shit no matter where I go. The place would actually be rather quiet if it wasn’t for there being so many loud vehicles these days, and landscaping nearly every day. It’s quiet at night. Just an occasional car stereo booming down the freeway. Kind of obsessed with the idea of a place that’s right on the water after some pictures I’ve seen. If not the ocean then a lake would be nice, despite the bugs I suppose it’d bring and the risk of gators.

He’s been doing a lot of coding because he got a really good idea for a money-making app. It’s for something that people have attempted to do, but have been unable to do so far, yet he has developed a way in which to do it. The only problem is that it’s something that could be copied very easily, so it’s not like we could expect to make money off of just one app if we’re going to make money off of any. It’s still something he enjoys doing and that’s most important. I never expected to become rich from my writing. I do it because I like it. :-)

Every few months he gets a surprise electronics package as part of the subscription. He got some neat stuff yesterday that involves making a little music player. I’ve never been interested in this sort of thing but I can’t help but accidentally learn some things through him, just like he’s learned some Spanish, Italian and German words from me.

Being the third anniversary of the most terrifying day of my life, not surprisingly, I had a few nightmares last night. None of them actually dealt with any medication, though. The one where I had erratic bleeding, I can probably thank Dr. G for. I would still be willing to bet just about anything that I don’t have uterine cancer, and therefore going through surgery would be a total waste of time and money.

In another dream, I must’ve been living with an abusive guy and didn’t seem to know Tom. Instead, I was living in a small house or apartment which was very detailed in the dream. Living room and kitchen to the left, bathroom and bedroom to the right. Anyway, I’d never put up with such shit in real life, but I guess the guy was the jealous type and kind of scary too. We had an argument on the phone shortly before he was due to come home. I hung up and hurried to tidy up the place in a way he would approve of. It was late at night and I quickly dove into bed hoping to avoid a fight by not having to face him.

Then I was dusting a computer monitor. I would hit the ‘page down’ key then dust the monitor again. Then I realized it was silly to do that and that I didn’t have to dust it every time I went down the page. Finally, I stopped dusting the monitor and walked around the corner of the L-shaped room I was in. There stood some cages with a variety of rodents.

In the last dream, I might have cut my hair. I was talking to Stacey and I asked her what the longest her hair had ever been. She told me a few inches below her shoulders and for some reason, I thought that was just hilarious as hell and burst out laughing. “Somehow that doesn’t surprise me,” I told her.

It’s been a while since I’ve played around on Ask, so I decided to reactivate and give it a go just for kicks.