Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Feeling emotionally off and am not sure how to describe it or what to do about it. Not sure I feel anxious. Not sure I feel depressed. But I definitely feel if not tired then at least lacking in energy, as well as a touch lightheaded. So that brings me to the same questions I’ve been asking for fucking ever… is it the meds? Is it because I skipped 2 days? Is it because I took melatonin before bed? Is it because I’m not eating as healthy as when I was eating mostly fruits and veggies? Is it because I’m on nights? Is it because I haven’t had Amberen in a few days, though I’ve kept up on my multivitamins and vitamin D?

And why do they say to wait 4 hours after taking this drug before we take vitamins? But there are vitamins in our food, including the shake I just had.

Last night I dreamed we were living in a house that looked like it could’ve been in New England. Pretty sure it had at least two stories. The houses were close-set and the driveways ran between the houses which aren’t as common there even though there are some places like that.

One evening just after the sun had set, I was sitting in the dark by a window on one side of the house. We just got new neighbors on that side. I heard them pull in and was annoyed by the glare of the headlights and how they lit up the room when I just wanted to relax in total darkness. I noticed that this wasn’t the first time it took them forever to turn the damn car and lights off. When they did, I heard the guy introduce himself as Nathan to another neighbor who lived somewhere on the street. He said he moved in with his two teenage boys, and I was worried they would blast music when Nathan wasn’t around.

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