Heard the loud car come in yesterday morning for about an hour and then it returned at around 2 p.m. and left 5 hours later. That is one devoted son. Seriously, I really wish we could drop down to the typical once-a-week parent visit. This cock, whoever he is, obviously doesn’t have a life. He doesn’t seem to work and he doesn’t seem to be in any kind of relationship. How he lives wherever he’s living is beyond me. I always worry he’s going to move back but at times he comes around often enough that it seems like he lives here. He was in for an hour this morning so I’m sure he’ll be back anytime now for his second daily visit because he just loves his mommy and daddy that much. I doubt they’re having any serious health issues of any kind. Last I saw of them they seemed to be pretty healthy and able-bodied. I wonder when they’ll put the house up for the third time before they pull it off the market?

Can’t stop thinking of Dr. O. I suppose there’s always a chance I’m imagining things but given how intuitive I’ve proven to be for over half a century I’d say I’m right on about the connection I felt between us the last time. Not saying she’s hot for me all of a sudden or anything like that but I felt some kind of connection between us for the first time. She’s always come off as a bit stern and I definitely wouldn’t want to live with the woman because I think she would be bossy and bitchy enough of the time, but I would be her friend. Even though she’s considered average-looking by most people’s standards, I think she looks pretty good for her early 60s and while I have no crush of my own going, I felt almost drawn to her the day I saw her. There was something very soothing and comforting about the way she dealt with me that also boosted my confidence and determination to deal with my anxiety, whatever the hell is causing it. As I reminded her, though, like it or not, the medication has been a problem in the past even if it was in a much more severe way. Remember… booming, racing heart, the runs a few times a day, rapid weight loss without trying…

The type of anxiety I’ve been dealing with the last two years, however (and I told her it’s changed in the way it affects me and fluctuates at times), is an adrenaline kick in the chest. I can feel it rush through me as if invisible hands are reaching in and squeezing my adrenal glands. The kind you’d feel for a few seconds if you were suddenly face to face with a big old spider or something you find scary. Only it goes on and on for hours. I still worry about the inevitable return of the anxiety and I don’t like the fact that I’m still having memory issues that seem a bit extreme for my age.

Anyway, I might reach out to Dr. O on Facebook in the future. When I accidentally slipped and mentioned Stacey’s name, even though I know she could look it up, I said, “Oops, I wasn’t supposed to mention her name.” She didn’t say anything but her expression told me she did indeed get and read my message regarding that and her son. I still wonder to this day how her son knew who I was. I think it’s safe to say he didn’t know that I knew who he was until I brought up his mother being a doctor and all that. Since I doubt Dr. O would have used my full name even if she did discuss me with her son, I think he either hacked her Facebook messages or somehow got a hold of her patient list. I think he saw his mother’s messages somehow. Maybe he didn’t actually have to hack her. Maybe her messages were sitting open on her laptop which he stepped away from momentarily and he saw my name. I’ll never know but no harm done. :-) Funny how he ignored me when I looked him up and surprised him on Twitter to question him there. I definitely surprised and spooked him in the end but will definitely keep him blocked since I don’t know if he’s all there or what his game was.

I actually slept fairly well last night and I’m feeling the best I’ve felt since I got sick. I’m still a little off-balance but even though I said I’d give up on bothering to walk around the park since I can’t do it full-time, I went to the lake anyway. The weather was perfect for it in that I got sunlight since sunlight goes through clouds, but it was cloudy enough that the sun wasn’t blinding me. The temperature was ideal for the way I was dressed and it was surprisingly quiet. I expected sections of loud landscaping but there weren’t any nor was there as much traffic as I expected. Just a bit lightheaded now and maybe slightly tired.

And the cock is back. sighs with frustration With today’s technology I shouldn’t have to fucking know about it when you come and go unless I actually see you.

I had a weird dream about Mark Zuckerberg last night. For some reason, he lost all his money and temporarily became very poor. So we donated some food for him and his family like we’d even care in real life. But we did. We gave him bags of frozen french fries, tater tots and other things.

Then all of a sudden he was rich again and he returned the uneaten portions of the food we donated to him on his motorcycle and included a large candy bar in the shape of the state of California as a token of his appreciation.

Then I was at his house, which was more like a building than a house, it was so huge. Instead of having two kids, he had eight. And instead of a younger Asian wife, she was an older white lady who didn’t seem very nice. She was pretty standoffish. There were maybe a hundred guests and occasional interns milling about who wore white coats similar to what a doctor wears.

Later...

I was lying in the dark when I heard a loud vehicle. It didn’t register in my mind as anything new since so many vehicles are loud. But then I saw the bright flashing lights. Curious, I got up and looked out the living room window, assuming they were going to the house across from next door or further down the way. Nope. They stopped next door. I briefly talked to their daughter Nancy who said Virginia had been having chest pains for an hour. Not wanting to get in the way, I came back and looked out the window by the door and watched. I assumed at first that they wouldn’t be taking her because they were inside the house for quite a while. Then a paramedic came out and raised the back of the stretcher after tossing a couple of duffel bags or something like that into one of the trucks. But then they walked Virginia out and onto the stretcher and off she went. Nancy drove Bob in her car behind the ambulance.

Really hope it was nothing serious but hey, the woman is 85 after all and this could very well be the beginning of the end for her since she’s not as active as Bob even if Bob is a few years older. Plus, she’s heavy. It isn’t just for her and her family’s sake that I hope nothing’s wrong but for my own selfish reasons as well. I don’t want to lose what’s turned out to be great neighbors. If one of them dies, the other may very well downsize to an apartment or something like that. I know how unlucky I usually am with neighbors. I don’t want someone moving in that’s going to be outside all the time making a racket, maybe have a mutt barking every time they walk it, and of course, the chances of them having a motorcycle or other loud vehicle are very good as well.