OMG, would you stop spying on me, Aly?! sighs with frustration First, she’s nosing into my PB books from different accounts, then she found another account that I haven’t been using. Fortunately, there was only 1 entry but it contained things I’d rather not share with her. So I’m annoyed, a bit embarrassed and puzzled. What is she looking for???

Could be that she stumbled upon it by accident, looking for someone else or just random browsing, but I highly doubt that. Here’s an account I haven’t used in nearly a year, no one I know of has checked it out, but she does? That can’t be a coincidence.

But why is she trying to find accounts I haven’t told her about? Is she hoping to learn things about me she doesn’t already know? Is she just that curious? Or is it something else?

Even though I’m sure she’s heard all my Bubbly posts, I deleted those just in case. I just wish she’d give me some privacy! Just because something’s public doesn’t mean you should be nosing into it if you weren’t told about it or invited. It’s like reading tweets to other people. While we all do it at times and it’s hard to resist temptation, we shouldn’t be observing other people’s conversations.

Sunset is at 7:45 and that’s when I’ll go out for a walk since it’s a little warm now. I’m sure I’ll get stopped but it will be nice to get fresh air. It’s slightly warm in the sunlight so I would like to wait. I always prefer early morning, evening or late night walks anyway when it’s likely to be more peaceful. Walking by mowers, blowers, and trimmers blaring away doesn’t exactly make for a very peaceful walk.

Saturday, the Caddy will be out of the way and then I can maneuver the bike in and out easier. In the warmer temps, I need to be on the bike where it’s “windy,” given that I’m going 8-20 miles an hour. Love flying down those hills! I just hate coming back up them, LOL. Florida would definitely be easier for bike riding but then I’ll have to deal with humidity.

Thought about going back to the clubhouse when I’m up during the mornings for their aerobics class but decided against it for a few reasons. Aerobics is just okay and I’m not a big fan of it. I’m not a social butterfly. I hate doing it to the same shitty music all the time. I also prefer to go at my own pace and be able to stop if I need to pee or something, so that’s why I prefer working out solo or with Tom.

Tested out his game which he’s trying out on different devices to see how it looks and it’s looking good so far, but with limited time it will probably still be a while before it’s in the App Store. He wants to add some animations and stuff like that.

10 days of being anxiety-free have been wonderful even though I’m definitely more tired, colder and sleeping longer on the lower dose. Or maybe not. As Tom said, it’s too soon to really say. I sometimes sleep for longer than 8 hours.

Do I think this is the cure for my anxiety even though it’s still way too soon to know for sure? Well, this makes the most sense out of anything as of yet seeing that I didn’t have any problems on 50s. But it’s still hard to believe I’ll ever figure out a solution that will stop it just like that. I still worry that it will either go away on its own someday for no apparent reason or I’ll be stuck with it forever tormenting me on and off. I’d love to have suddenly stumbled upon a solution after years of suffering but I would have some real mixed emotions about it being a dosage cut as no one wants the answer to be skimping on medication their body needs otherwise. So unless there’s anything up there that actually wants me to be hypo, I don’t believe anything until and if I see it for at least half a year. If I made it to August anxiety-free, I would then see my first real glimmer of light. By September I would start getting a little giddy with excitement and by October I would be absolutely ecstatic and no doubt going ballistic with tears of joy and relief, even though it would be too bad I couldn’t get my numbers close to where they should be without suffering. But if it does turn out to be a dosage issue; just because 75s make me anxious now doesn’t mean they always will. They did stop giving me serious side effects after all when I stopped in late 2014 and then returned to it in early 2015. Maybe once I’m postmenopausal I can handle it. It’s too soon to say anything for sure.

I had suspected I went hypo somewhere around 2010, but when I think about it I wonder if it could go as far back as the early 2000s. I know some people are naturally more sensitive to temperature than others, but when I remember how I would get such cold hands and feet during the winters in Maricopa, I assumed it was because I wasn’t used to cold weather, but maybe that wasn’t it. I also remember how utterly freezing my first winter in Oregon was and that makes me wonder as well. After all, with few exceptions, I haven’t been able to lose weight since I was 36 which would go with that timeframe.

With my metabolism forced to be even slower and me not getting any younger, I’ve really got to watch the calories as hard as it is. I want to start walking 1-2 hours a day even if I break it up into chunks and keep my calories between 1200-1500.