There is one more thing I haven’t mentioned yet and that is that I’ve had this mysterious irritation at the opening of my crotch for a few days now. I have no discharges, fevers, or anything, so again, is this a little punishment cuz he’s cumming occasionally and cuz of my wanting a kid? See, this is why I’m afraid to go to a GYN. I’m afraid of God having me in for female problems to tease me even more. If I had to have a hysterectomy, he couldn’t tease me anymore, but the punishment would still be there. I just want him to stop. I just want him to either give us the kid or let me get on with life without feeling teased, cheated, and incomplete. Or angry and bitter.

We had Bunny running around the music room earlier and she was so cute! Cuz she’s bigger and will be much, much much bigger, she needs the extra exercise. She was more like a little puppy than even Piggy is. She was so happy, jumping all around and jumping up and down and running around the room. We have to watch her, though, to keep her from chewing wires.

At the start of my day, I put myself on a diet, but that’s not going so well. I guess I just can’t muster up the kind of motivation I’d have if I were in need of losing more than 10 pounds instead of just about 7 pounds.

Well, I guess I’ll choose between TV, reading, computer work and music for now. If I remember anything else about the new problem God’s replaced me with, I’ll make a note of it or just write it down. I just knew that if he came, God would go do something else, but personally, this is easier to deal with than the old bullshit.

Later...

I was just laughing to myself when I thought of something I could write to my parents if I did so again. When I’m about to tell them about Bunny, I could start off with, “We found out about a surprising and unexpected addition to our family,” and then go on about Bunny. This is true, too, about Bunny, but I know what they’re gonna think I’m gonna say and man, will their hearts be pounding and will they start getting rather unhappy! Maybe I just will give them a good scare.

Also, this didn’t bother me cuz I could only hear it out back, but someone was playing some kind of wind instrument at 7:14 this morning. 7:14 this morning! Now that is desperate. That is a truly classic example of how people want to be heard so damn bad. It was so obvious too, that that person wanted to be heard and was sitting right by an open window.