Well, I hope Tammy doesn’t think I’m crazy, but I just had to let her know that she and her family are under the same curse I was under back east. I know the signs. I know how it works from my own personal experience, and I told her it’s no coincidence that 90% of my life’s improved since being out here. Becky now has been diagnosed with advanced Lyme disease and Sarah’s got scarlet fever. They’ve got to get the hell out of New England any way they possibly can. The curse on them will never end. It’ll only get worse, just as it has been each year and God forbid any one of them gets killed. Yes, I’ve learned and have come to fully believe that lands can be like people. Some loving, caring and nurturing, and others evil, hateful and even violent.

I only hope Tammy’s not bullshitting me about the kids to get me to call her. Remember how I said I left her a message on AOL expressing my feelings to her? And I told her that I’d just keep in touch with her there for now, so I hope that this isn’t just an attempt to get me to call, even though I wish it could be just a joke as far as what she says the kids are going through. It’s just that for some strange reason, my parents and Tammy seem desperate to hang onto me. They don’t help me financially or in any other way that keeps me wrapped around their fingers, so I don’t know what it is. Perhaps it’s cuz of Tom. They really like Tom, which is great, and if they lose me, they lose him.

The office where I’m gonna get my teeth done called yesterday to tell me that they had to cancel my Halloween appointment and bump it up to November 14th.

Tom and I made cookies last night. Actually, he made the cookies. I just helped put frosting on some of them. They’re called Black-Eyed Susan’s, cuz the cookie itself is yellowish and then there’s the dark frosting on top of it. They’re really good.

I admire Tom’s effort in trying to achieve our dream. Neither of us came last night, but he says that he’ll get used to all this planned sex in a day or two. I still think that no matter how much effort we put into it, God will still see to it that we don’t succeed in getting what we want. He’s probably up there right now saying, “So you guys think that having sex every day will do the trick? Uh-uh!”

Of course, a small part of me worries that this is just all for show. There’s a chance he could do everything he can to make it look like he tried his hardest, but then not cum when the time is right. If I were fertile, we’d need for him to get off in a large dose a good 4 days in a row, right around mid-cycle and I don’t think he can do that. After all, the guy is close to 40, not close to 20. Once again, though, all we can do is do what we can and let fate play itself out.