Well, today I got two unavailable calls just a few minutes apart. The first one, I just picked up the receiver and hung it right back up. I picked up the second one on the second ring and it went dead. Yeah, someone’s gotta be playing games, but Tom disagrees.

I just saw a black guy talking to a white guy at the end of next door’s driveway. I don’t think I’ve ever seen either one of them before and I wonder if the black one is the one that owns the maroon car and is living there now. He seems nice, from his cheerful expression and the way he talked and kind of reminded me of Steve. He doesn’t seem like a music blaster and he does seem the type to respect others and care about not bothering others.

In Kim’s last letter to me that I recently got, she said she thinks she and Walter are done cuz the age difference is getting to him. That’s too bad. I told her, though, that if you truly love someone, you accept them, age and all, and that maybe he never really truly loved her. She also said this is the first time she’s gonna be dumped and not the dumper. Wow! It was 50/50 with me, but I think I spent much, much more time rejecting offers than getting dumped or dumping others. Most people that either dumped me or that I dumped were those I was friends with. Not lovers or playmates.

Yesterday and today were pretty funny with Bunny and Piggy swimming. Bunny can get out by way of the stairs, but Piggy has to either be taken out or at least put on the wall that divides the pool/spa, then he can hop out from there.

Today I put Bunny in and I began with him in the middle of the pool by the wall. He swam down to the far end, saw he couldn’t get out down there, so he turned around and swam up to the steps and got out.

Yesterday, though, I had Piggy in (I had him in today too, but he wasn’t nearly as funny as he was yesterday) and thought he’d just want a quick dip to refresh and clean himself, then go home. Nope, he wanted more than that. After the first dip, I stuck him on the wall, knowing he’d be OK for a while cuz he was wet. Well, he didn’t exactly stay there, that’s for sure. A couple of times he shook himself and slipped off into the pool, but more so, he leaped off into the pool! It was so funny to see him keep diving off into the pool till he got tired of it.

I’m looking forward to this Sunday. Ma’s gonna take us out to Red Lobster and come here to see the wall art and animals. Tom says he’s pretty sure she wants to see the wall art most of all. Wow, that’s nice.

I have an update on Ronnie and Larry, but I’ll write about it later.

Later...

OK, let me finish up with what I have to say about Ronnie, then I’m done with that bastard, I’m sick of hearing about him and talking about him as well. He was an aggressive, macho piece of shit I always loathed.

Ma called last night and asked me why I wanted to send this letter. I told her I had my reasons, then she said to please accept her request that she’d like me not to. I said I would respect her wishes, but then I asked her how she could have anything to do with her brother if she knew he hated her own daughters. She said she doesn’t. I don’t know if she’s lying, but if I knew for sure that she respected and cared more about his feelings than her daughter’s, yes, I’d be upset about it cuz that’s not very fair.

The point is, is that after we hung up and I thought about it, I felt embarrassed for myself, and knowing how long it took me to gain any self-respect, I asked myself why I’d even want to bother with someone like this. Well, I don’t. Anyone who has to hang onto shit that happened a decade ago and ignore you for so long isn’t worth it.

The only thing I did was mention to Larry when he brought up how Ma should’ve called Ronnie over something I can’t remember, was that it was too bad that the past couldn’t have been left there and that there was never any contact for so long, but since it’s been that way for so long, it’s got to stay that way and I know that. It’s not like we squared our problems with each other away 10 years ago, then kept in touch and I explained all this to my folks and to Tammy, too.

Anyway, Larry’s still pissed off at Tammy and at mom and dad for the way they seem so insensitive and like they just can’t deal with his loss. Other than that, he was putting in a new dishwasher when I called and other than his grief, he, Sandy and Jen are OK. Sandy was at her mother’s when I called and Jen was in Virginia Beach for a couple of weeks with a friend.

I was so happy to hear Larry tell me that it was to be 40º tonight there. Not only cuz it was so funny, but cuz I miss my cue to give him my laugh at his shitty weather and he even seemed glad to hear it. I told him I didn’t mean to sound selfish, but that I looked forward to him having happier days. Not just for his sake, but cuz I miss our jokes and giving him my crazy laugh that he always loved.

Got an email from Marla and she asked me to zap over my songs again, cuz the last time she went to check them out and reply to me, her system crashed.

She told me she enjoyed the beach, then something about Charlotte. I don’t personally have anything against Charlotte and she never did anything to me. Maybe that’s cuz I do know she does have a big mouth and therefore, I’d watch what I’d say so it wouldn’t get back to my mom, but Marla hates her. She said she accidentally said hi to her when she was shucking corn. She thought it was Natalie or someone else. Then she said she said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say hi to you. I thought you were someone else and as far as I’m concerned, you’re dead.”

Then she said Charlotte said, “I know you don’t want to talk to me.”

Then Marla told her she’d talk to Shelly and Scott, but not her.