I just spent a good 3 hours doing dishes, laundry, vacuuming, dusting, and cleaning the bathroom, on top of changing the mice to help curb my anger/frustration/anxieties over the desperate, neglected, sick, rude, selfish, cruel, lonely, hear-me, notice-me, pay-attention-to-me society we live in. 

By Andy’s own admission, he’s never been a happy person. I wonder if I could ever disagree on that one. It seems that the bulk of my life has been unhappy and filled with both one problem after another, as well as ongoing problems that have stayed with me for years. Life really sucks. There is some good in it, but for the most part, life sucks. There’s always a problem no matter where I go and if we ever can live in peace, it won’t be forever. Sooner or later, this fucking sick society will find me and follow me there. And I’m having more and more days (thank God, since I don’t have a choice) where I don’t know if I want a kid all that bad anymore. Having a kid would defeat the purpose of our moving, wouldn’t it? We can have a bigger, more modern house with or without a kid, but we can’t live in peace with one.

Tom said he didn’t see a car next door last night. No wonder I didn’t hear any door slams. Well, when he returns, he’ll let me know it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s over there now. It is the weekend. But if not, he’ll be back soon enough. If he isn’t there over the weekend, I’ll still have to worry about his and the bitch’s mutually sick friends.

If it were a matter of snapping my fingers and being dead instantly, I’d have done so a long time ago. But if it were that easy now, I would if it weren’t for Tom and Lisa. I made promises to them, but I couldn’t care less as far as anyone else’s concerned.

Later…

Today’s my 6th month anniversary of not smoking, aside from those few I had.

Tom got me some cream that’s specially made for vaginal irritation. So now I can clear that up and then God can do something else to hinder a good, normal, healthy sex life.

Gonna go do some reading, although now I’m getting a bit bored with these true crime stories. That’s cuz I know what’s gonna happen. I know a crime was committed and what the crime was, and that someone either pays for it or gets off scot-free.