“Hey Jodi, I can’t see you with all those bright colors,” Jon joked when I went out to dump some trash and saw him out chatting with Laurence. LOL, I was wearing my rainbow sundress. It’s definitely bright and colorful.

Woke up early for some reason so I’m a little tired, but still managing to get things done around here. Not sure if I feel up to going for a bike ride like I had planned to do. I might even skip the Bowflex today, too.

Last night I decided to search and see if I could find any free hidden trackers and found StatCounter. They’re awesome! I can not only hide the tracker from those who are creeped out by it and not comfortable enough to come around regularly, but I can also see exactly what entries were accessed. TIP wouldn’t show that much and of course, you had to pay to hide the tracking icon. I was surprised, however, when I said I wouldn’t be tracking anymore for a while (before I found StatCounter) when a couple of older women said they never noticed that I had a tracker.

I’ve been back to the every-other-day routine with the meds since the seventh or eighth when I started getting anxious again. Still having residual effects of anxiety, although mild. I’ve learned from past experience, however, that the numbers change before you feel better. In just a few days my TSH can jump to 16 but that doesn’t mean I feel good yet. The worse I get the longer it takes to feel better. What I don’t get is why it only took three skips to feel better after the misery I went through at the end of last year, while now I have to skip even more to feel better. I guess the shit’s really accumulated in my system. Tom thinks it’s also connected to my hormones as my body fights to try to make a period. I still think it will succeed eventually, I just hope it waits until after Dr. G’s appointment. So four more days.

I really hope his theory is right and that I’ll be able to tolerate the meds regularly when I finally hit menopause. After over three years now I’m afraid I’ll struggle with this medication for the rest of my life. I still think more of the anxiety is from the medication than the peri. I have a feeling that the peri would be barely noticeable except for occasional hot flashes and palpitations if I were never on the medication. Really wish I could stand the anxiety and the runs so I could lose some weight. Maybe when he’s no longer working I can try that, but who knows what my body/hormones will be like by then.

There’s a new user that kind of smacks of Molly. I left a comment under my story account and we’ll see if she replies. The very short entry with the lack of capital letters that is chock full of negativity is very Molly, right along with the book title My Life. That’s what she always used to call her journals. No avatar, so I can’t see her. No personal info either in the bio section. If I can ever confirm that it’s her, I’m blocking her.