I talked to Tammy this morning who is continuing to go through a whole lot of shit physically, and understandably, it’s affecting her mentally. Really gotta wonder how she can believe anything up there cares about her with all it’s allowed her to suffer through, but she has a right to believe whatever she believes, false or not, in order to help her cope. It’s better than turning to drugs or alcohol.

Apparently, she’s been in what she describes as the worst pain of her life. I guess it was shooting down her neck and through her back. So she had pain management surgery which failed to help. They’re going to attempt to operate again at the end of the month by burning the nerves, but unfortunately, those nerves can grow back. Whatever they do will more than likely be to provide temporary relief and that’s only if it’s successful. There are no guarantees from what she told me.

We were talking about the pros and cons of certain things like ADD. It seems like the only good to come out of most illnesses, though, is weight loss. Well, the thyrotoxic diet is not worth it! That much I can say for sure. But yeah, most things seem to have their pros and cons. I’d love to dump my CRD and be on days only because days are more convenient, but I’ll never hear landscaping at 3 o’clock in the morning either. I do love those midnight jogs without the traffic, pedestrians, dogs and loud shit running all over the park.

I can’t imagine going through half of what she’s going through. What I went through might’ve been bad enough, but it was short-lived compared to the length of time she’s been suffering. So if my thoughts could be as dark as they were getting on account of the suffering I went through, I hate to think what hers might be like. I’m just glad she has family and friends to help.

Stephanie and Lisa will be flying down for her 60th birthday. I’m happy for her but I really don’t want to hear about Lisa. Really, having to hear about someone who doesn’t give a shit about me and that I don’t give a shit about really makes me feel awkward. I’m just hoping Tammy gets some pain relief soon. Her diabetes numbers are much better because she lost a lot of weight. She went from 264 to 200. Me? I’m never going to get the 20-30 pounds off that I could afford to lose. This is simply how I was meant to be, so as long as I don’t get any heavier, and I haven’t for many years now, this is how it stays. Never would’ve thought 1500 would be a challenge, though. It’s not the challenge 1200 or lower is, but it’s not nearly as easy as I thought it would be either. 2000 would be easy, I’m sad to say.

There are lots of things I didn’t tell her because we were focused on her surgery and what’s going on with her.

In other news, I said hello to Bob yesterday who was out back swinging his golf club trying to keep limber, as he said, because he doesn’t do anything on weekends. He walks 2 miles 5 days a week. I’d say that’s pretty damn good for an 87-year-old.

He and Virginia have turned out to be such good neighbors that I almost feel guilty for the evil thoughts I had of them when Bob was driving me crazy with his power tools. But hey, better evil thoughts in the heat of the moment than evil actions, right?

I asked them about how much it cost them to replace their windows and he said about 7K. Whoa! They didn’t do them all at once, though.

I lifted the killer whale sticker from the bathroom floor, not really liking how it looked there and transferred it to the shower stall. It looks way better there. Still not very 3-D, but better.

The “hanging” kitty arrived yesterday and it’s hanging from the light faceplate by the front door.

Got a notice that the next bulk trash pickup is on the 14th, and this weekend Tom will decide what he wants to haul out to the street for pickup. We don’t have anything in the house that needs to go and he’s pretty much in charge of everything outdoors because I don’t want to deal with the bugs. He doesn’t mind, though.

We went for another windy, chilly run but it is ideal for running because ideally, you want to start off a little chilly since 10 minutes later you’re going to be warmer.

We were talking about an article I read about parallel universes and people getting momentarily “trapped” in another dimension. As fascinating as the stories are, we’re not sure if we buy it. I would still be quicker to believe that than in gods or angels. Too much shit going on in the world to believe in gods and angels.

No skunks to stop and admire this time, but the leaves are already coming down. Amazing how something so cute can smell so ferocious. It sucks that the leaves are falling because the trees look uglier and this means that I’m going to have to hear even more landscaping racket. Until they come down completely, it’s every day without fail. The rest of the time it’s just almost every day. Yesterday turned out to be pretty quiet and since we don’t usually have two quiet days in a row, I expect to hear a lot of landscaping today.

I was really surprised when it rained if only for a minute a few nights ago because raining in August is practically unheard of in this area.

Saw a Netflix documentary about priests and cops raping high school girls at a Catholic school in Baltimore in 1969. Then one of the sisters was killed because she was going to speak out about it. Damn is that fucking sick! Sometimes it really seems like the religious people, as well as authority figures, are the most dangerous of all. Not only should the perpetrators that are still alive be tortured and killed, but the police department, as well as the FBI, should be disgusted with themselves for covering it up as they did. I guess if you are the law you can make it or break it at will.

Memories from another me in another dimension or not, the only dream I remember from last night is one where I had the same three rats only I lived in a two-story house. They were all out loose and playing and I swear I called one of them Pine Pine.

I skipped my meds today. This time I was going to be smart and not hope that it was just a fluke and that everything would be okay if I kept taking it daily. No, it’s not just a fluke, and no I wouldn’t be okay. In another week my thoughts would be turning darker than dark and I would have lost track of how many times I was on the toilet, let alone afraid to be alone.

The loud car house is now up to 28 favorites. If they like it so damn much then why doesn’t someone buy the fucking place?