I started sharing old stuff in a new book I created called Old Journals on Prosebox. I know not everyone is into that and that most people prefer to read current stuff, but for those who want to peek into the past, I told them that they won’t see every single entry I wrote back then. I’ll slowly be going through them over a long period of time but as soon as I see anything personal about either myself or someone else that shouldn’t be shared, I’ll skip that entry and not bother to share any portion of it. This is why some of it may not make sense if all of a sudden one’s reading about someone and thinking, “Who’s this and where did they come from?” I may very well have omitted the entry in which we met.

I thought my monitor broke yesterday but it turns out that the portal on my laptop that I run the cable to connect to it has gotten flaky. That kind of sucks for a Mac that’s over a grand. We might try to connect it wirelessly if possible later on down the road which might be better.

The new windows for the master bedroom are ready to be picked up. I slept better last time around even though Tom confirmed there was plenty of loud shit driving by. I think I just got lucky, besides, I do sleep better when he’s here.

Not surprisingly, Aly confirms that she has been in touch with Molly, just not regularly. She says she gets an occasional text from her and that the last time she reached out to her was during the hurricanes to see if she and her family suffered any major damage. They didn’t, and she doesn’t expect more than a few messages a year from her and she’s okay with that.

I doubt I’ll ever hear from Molly again but if I do, I’ve long since decided that I’m just going to ignore her. She’s just too crazy and her mother is too mean and even a bit scary. Again, too old for any toxic drama.

Aly and I have our guesses as to what disability Kim has. When I Googled mental disorders with memory loss I got a lot of hits on dissociative disorders. It may explain the severe memory loss as well as the need to roleplay, impersonate others, and take on other identities. The weird thing is that as Aly said, she remembers certain things really well at the same time she’s super forgetful. She’s not even allowed to go for walks on her own. Because she may forget her way back home? She definitely remembers who I am, and when she was pestering me on Ask she remembered that I had rats because she frequently asked me about them.

I hope we’ll always be friends but it won’t be the end of the world if she loses it on me because I may have gotten a little too honest with her or something like that as long as she doesn’t harass my family and friends. It’s when she and Molly would involve them when they had nothing to do with it that I would have a problem. I’d rather get harassed and even threatening messages directed at myself every day than have them harass those I know once in a while. Because I know the situation it would be easier for me to just ignore them than a complete stranger that doesn’t know or what the hell is going on. Even Aly knows that while she may enjoy some things about Kim and the way she can be caring and helpful at the same time she can be frustrating, repetitive and a bit selfish, she still has to be careful if she doesn’t want to piss her off into being stalked and harassed for years like I was. Like I said, I have no problem with ignoring those I don’t want anything to do with. It’s friends and family I might be concerned about, but I would be quick to warn them, of course, the instant we may have a problem. Tammy is fully aware of my past issues with both Kim and Molly. To me, though, harassing messages are no different than spam, thus simply something to ignore.

I can understand how Aly may get sick of hearing about the family drama every single time they communicate. Hearing the same negative shit over and over does get old, no matter how real it may be. We have yet to see the day when she contacts us with nothing but good things to say or even just neutral things.

Last night I dreamed that we were living in some variation of the Phoenix house. The three rats I had in the dream were the ones I actually have, so if there are parallel lives, do rats have parallel lives as well? LOL

In the dream, they were all out loose getting their exercise and as I was gathering them up to go out somewhere, two adorable cute shiny black mice that looked like Fancy mice came hopping toward me. I was surprised the rats didn’t go after them and with how calm and brave they seemed. It explained, however, the “evidence” I swore I’d seen around the house. As much as I wanted to keep them I knew I had to trap and get rid of them.

During this dream, I went to run some water and was dismayed to find the water was turned off because I knew Tom wanted to shower before we left. But then it came back on and all was well.

In the last dream, it was early in the morning when I heard the loud car with the young guy. I didn’t make it to the window in time to see if that was coming or going. I asked Tom, who was sitting at his desk, what he thought. Like me, he suspected they were leaving. I was really disappointed because for them to leave at that hour made me think that they were living here again.