I’m getting the strangest emails lately. In the subject line, someone calling themselves Tracey wrote: I HATE YOU - F U

Then their message was: Dear Scumbag, I just wanna tell you that you suck. I will never forgive you for what you did to me, you piece of crap. ASSHOLE! Do not you dare to talk to me again. Believe me, you don’t wanna see my other side, ask your goddamn sister, she has seen it. Kiss my ASS, T.B

WTF? Just WTF? I’ve never seen a scam like this before. Where the hell did this person, if it’s their real name, get my email address, and why would they send this to multiple people? They sent it to nine other people. Sending a “fuck you” message just doesn’t seem like your typical way to get sensitive info, though. Usually, it’s some kind of lottery scam or inheritance ploy. Funny they mentioned a sister but I think it’s safe to say that at least every other person has a sister. Just wonder if it’s someone I know but it doesn’t seem like a game Andy would play. Maliheh? Shitheads in Arizona? I guess I’ll never know as curious as I am. It’s interesting, alright. It almost looks like they took a bunch of email addresses that have spammed them since they seem like businesses, and included mine in the reply. I’m not having any disputes right now with anyone so yeah, it’s probably just a new twist on phishing.

Getting to my Monday appointment should definitely not be an issue, even if it means having to take lorazepam to stay asleep long enough to get there. It seems like every other day lately I’m waking up, unable to fall back asleep. I suppose part of it is the stress of the appointment and the other part is, according to Tom, coming to the end of the perimenopause.

What end? Seriously, sometimes I feel like there is no end. I’m still spotty, crampy, watery, and my boobs are sore. Never have I had this degree of soreness that didn’t end with a real period. I can’t believe it’s going to simply back off on its own.

The results of my shit test came back negative so that much is good.

Anyway, I didn’t want to resort to lorazepam after all these months, but then I figured hey, we paid for it, it’s here, so I might as well use it. At least I’m using it for sleep and not anxiety. When it expires, since I don’t expect to use it up before it does, I’ll have to figure out what the new lorazepam is going to be. Benadryl? Melatonin? Those two may leave me feeling more hung over. I expected to wake up with grogginess after I got back to sleep after the tea and turkey I tried first failed to help, but I actually woke up feeling pretty good. Been up since 6 PM and I would like to stay up until at least 8 AM.

I asked myself over and over if it was possible that I might have accidentally skipped a dose and if that could be why my TSH is up, but I don’t think so, and I don’t see how cutting the time that one day could make it jump so much either. We think maybe I still do have pocket flares and it was during one of those flares that I got the lower readings.

I’m just tired of the same old shit year after year. I’m glad I haven’t had as much anxiety, and I sure as hell aren’t going to take any more medication that could get me back there. I kind of ranted on Facebook when I was venting last night. I was a bit surprised, though pleased when Carolyn responded by letting me know she was thinking of me, dear neighbor, and always here for me. That was very nice of her.

Totally love my new rat leggings that came today! They fit perfectly and sadly they’re an XXL.

I had the energy to work out today, so then why didn’t I? I guess I was just too lazy to. Besides, it’s discouraging when you keep losing and gaining the same 3 pounds.

Anyway, by all appearances, Aly really is in the hospital based on the lack of activity on her Twitter account and Kim’s reports. For a minute I wondered if maybe she was just leading me to think she was so she would have an excuse in her mind not to acknowledge my birthday, but I think she really is, and I think it’s connected to her skin. At this time I don’t think she has cancer. I think she’s in remission as far as anything they couldn’t remove goes like when they removed her breasts.

Right now the hot buttered rum incense is draining and I’m dipping a little more of that in the leftover oil as well as some sweet patchouli. I’m not smelling the patchouli in it, though. It actually smells more like vanilla scent cartridges that Glade used to make. The magnolia smells like lilacs so I don’t know if I’m going to like that one very much. The only version of Magnolia I truly loved was originally sold by Incense Galore and I’ve never been able to find it ever since the owner went to prison.

Just got up and decided to dip a few more scents to speed things up. So I have 6 out of the 10 soaking now.

I printed out labels for the bags. I’m sending 10 sticks of each scent to Tammy, Mark and the girls, and 10 of each scent to Eileen as well. Really hope they like them!

Speaking of Eileen, I received a lovely birthday card from her today. I really appreciate it, too.