Okay, time to finish updating my journal while I have the energy and before my sleep is disrupted once again and therefore my energy.

I got caught up last night and slept for about 9 hours. Woke up every hour, sometimes with weird dreams, sometimes just because, but overall I slept well and replenished my energy.

I don’t work out much anymore due to all the sleep disturbances here but my lower back pain was a reminder that I do have to at least work my core. A few dozen ab crunches and back flies each day is a must.

The silicone earplugs don’t block sound any more than the foam earplugs but Tom can use them.

Getting my phone set up similarly to my laptop so I have the option of easily doing the same things on both devices. The only thing that’s much harder to do on the phone is editing documents.

It’s a chilly windy night and you would never believe it was mid-June. I’m wondering if we’re going to be able to use the pool at all this year with the way it’s been so mild. We haven’t had many really hot days.

Although it was a bit of a disaster and it took several hours, the elephant mural is now on the living room wall! We did get some air bubbles and ripples in it, and unfortunately, these old walls have their share of bumps in them that make it look like there are more air bubbles than there actually are. It still looks fantastic, though, despite the imperfections. It sure was a nightmare at times when one of the panels folded over and one sticky side stuck to another.

The average person visits their parents once a week. It’s just my shit luck that one with the loudest car on earth has to visit every single fucking day, sometimes more than once. Who the fuck is that devoted to their parents? They don’t seem to have a job, friends, a significant other, or much of a life. If they’re a lazy loser, then the parents sure are enablers. Instead of feeding the bastard every day, if that’s the reason he’s coming around that often, shouldn’t they put their foot down and tell them to get off their lazy ass, get a job, and get a fucking life? Furthermore, do any of them ever stop to consider for a second just how many of the people here besides me may be annoyed by such a ferociously loud vehicle? Really, this isn’t the place for that kind of shit! To have such rudeness and inconsideration in adult communities is really sad. It’s a prime example of just what the world is coming to. It’s totally depressing to think that I’m going to hear this kind of shit everywhere I go… loud vehicles, car stereos, etc. If the world has gotten this loud in the time I’ve known Tom, I hate to think of how it’s going to be in another 20 years. I just don’t understand why most people don’t seem to mind how loud things have gotten, but obviously they don’t, or else something would have been done about it by now.

Right now it’s the planes I’m hearing. They’re usually an annoyance late at night.

I asked Tammy how often she thinks thunder there would wake up a light sleeper, and while I know it may vary from area to area, how would she say the plane and helicopter situation is there?

I still can’t believe it’s as quiet as she says it is there. I think either we have different definitions of what’s quiet, she’s deafer than she realizes, or she’s incredibly lucky. There are hardly any places left on the planet that are truly quiet. We looked at land in Nevada, and while it’s certainly appealing, with me needing to see doctors as often as I do, it’s just not feasible. Even if he didn’t have a job, when you’re aging and you have health issues, it’s not good to have long drives to doctors.

Tuesday can’t get here fast enough! I really hope my ENT can help him as much as she helped me because he’s been in excruciating pain at times due to his ear, which has got to be infected. It’s been worse the last few weeks. I can’t express just how much I want to go after his doctor and the doctor in Urgent Care that no doubt misdiagnosed him. Especially if they could have saved his hearing if they’d just done their fucking job right to begin with. I am so, so fucking tired of people screwing us over and having absolutely no consequences to pay for it. Just so fucking tired of it.

As Aly and I were discussing the other day, one-sided friendships get old. I always ask certain people how they’re doing. Always. I ask how their appointments go if I know about them in advance, I ask them how they’re feeling, I ask them for updates, but never once do they ask me about my own health and appointments. They wouldn’t even have a clue if I didn’t volunteer the info myself. It’s always all about them. It’s always, “This is what’s going on with me,” and that’s it. Never “This is what’s going on with me. How are you?” No point in volunteering information that people don’t seem to be interested in then.

I suddenly remembered the other night that when I last looked for the black bitch in Arizona quite some time ago, her name failed to come up on Facebook. It then hit me that back then I didn’t know how to see if someone had blocked me. So I checked, and sure enough, she has me blocked. I returned the blocking power.

Now here’s where it gets interesting. To verify that it was indeed her, even though the tiny profile picture seemed to look like her ugly face and her ugly glasses (she’s still pretty thin as drugs will do that to you, though I think it’s safe to say she’s naturally like that), I jumped into Tom’s account and ran her name and found she also blocked his account.

There are quite a few Tom S, so how the hell did she know which one to block? This might prove that she really does have the kinds of connections I always suspected she had. The kind who could unknowingly hack my account to see who I’m connected with and pass that information along. They would somehow have to get around the way Facebook alerts its users about unrecognized browsers but I’m sure they have their ways around various obstacles. She either got the information from the pigs or she went and blocked every Tom S she could find. There are a million ways she could have learned his name including from my blog, but yeah, unless she’s a lucky guesser or blocked everyone with his name, someone gave her information she shouldn’t have access to. What else does she know that she shouldn’t?

I’m pretty surprised she blocked us. For a while there she was leaving the line of communication open no doubt in hopes of building a case against me. But I think that once a “case” was built that she failed to see carried out, it really discouraged her and therefore she would rather not hear from me at all. If it’s not that then she may have blocked us to keep us from going through her friends. Or maybe she still wants the communication but she would prefer it via email, thinking in her mind that the best way to screw me would be if I came at her through email. Well, if he dies first or we die together, I will definitely do my absolute best to reach out to her. Yes, my little Revenge story is going great. For now, I’ve put a mutual block on both our accounts.

Because the sick bitch was on my mind, I ended up dreaming about her. She tried to poison me. We were at some group meeting in someone’s house. I knew who she was and she knew who I was. The only thing is that she didn’t know that I knew who she was. I decided to keep it secret until I could decide what to do about it. I was going to get her ass somehow. I just wanted to catch her off guard and I figured the best way to go about that would be not to tip her off as to what I knew.

So we were all sitting in a circle in the person’s living room when she offered to make me some tea. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of her dumping poison into it before she brought it to me. Again, taking advantage of what she didn’t know, I played dumb by gratefully accepting the tea with a smile yet with no plans to drink it. While it almost saddened me to think she could so easily take my life just for reacting to her bullshit years ago, it also amused me to think of how confused she would be as to why I didn’t die. I thought she had to be incredibly stupid if she thought she could actually poison me and expect to get away with it but then I realized she would probably just race card her way out of it somehow. I’m sure she would, too.

I also dreamed of that fucking car. Yeah, it even haunts me in my sleep. I was looking out a window somewhere, thinking I was hearing it approaching.

Then Tom was sitting on a couch with Andy while my parents were in a nearby room.

In another dream, some little girl broke something of mine in some public place and I was so pissed because the parents wouldn’t do anything about it like apologize and get the brat away from whatever the object was. I had to restrain myself from swatting it away and shouting, “Okay, you’ve done enough damage! Get away.”

The last dream was the most vivid. I was in some kind of group home or something like that which had to do with those that were recovering from traumatic experiences. I was still with Tom, of course. I was just staying there for a few nights as part of my PTSD therapy. I think I may have been there a few times as that was part of the therapy routine.

I was running a hand along a soft mattress or blanket I sat on that was really fluffy and it seemed like for a minute it was outdoors because I had the fleeting thought of a snake popping up out of a hole in the ground nearby.

Then I was inside the house and I walked into a bedroom where about 4 young women were doing their nails and chatting. I apologized, saying I thought that was the bathroom.

Then I was talking to a young girl with short, straight sandy hair who was sitting in the middle of another room. I guess she wanted me to be her roommate, who was also her bedmate since the rooms had one double bed instead of multiple twin beds because she felt more comfortable with me. I seemed to feel comfortable with her as well and definitely wanted to be her roommate for the night. I told (Linda?) that I had a really comfortable blanket or something like that if she wanted me to sleep on the floor.

I thought I’d call Tom later and tell him that I had a decent roommate and all that.