Beat the alarm by 15 minutes and even fell asleep earlier than I expected to last night. I awoke with a headache centered upon my right temple, though, and while my anxiety has been gone for two weeks now, the usual worries were present. I just fear that returning to medication is going to bring all that anxiety right back, but I also figure that if worse comes to absolute worse, I simply don’t take any medication. If the side effects and anxiety or both are still a problem, I just won’t take anything. It would be years and years before leaving my thyroid untreated became a serious problem. Meanwhile, the extra weight is mine for life whether I’m on meds or not, the dry skin and memory loss issues aren’t that bad, so it’s not like I can’t survive without medication. 

I don’t know how my cholesterol is doing, though I would assume the numbers aren’t too high since making a point of watching my cholesterol intake. Either way, I can’t live forever. Sooner or later something’s going to kill me. But I’d rather 15 more great years than 30 more shitty years. 

We’re hoping that now that I’ve been officially diagnosed, this doctor will opt to treat me herself and not send me to a specialist. The fewer doctors I have to deal with, the better. It’s less confusing that way. The only reason the last doc had to send me to a specialist was to find out exactly what type of hypothyroidism I had. Despite this disease being quite common, I have a feeling she’s going to send me to a specialist anyway. 

Tom and I were out walking yesterday and found exterminators working on the corner house opposite ours. The lady that lives there said they’re going to tent it due to beetles. Hope they don’t come running over here! 

Tammy asked to read some of my earlier journals and where she could find them. I told her I worried she might be offended by some of the less-than-kind things I’d say about her in the heat of the moment when I was younger, but she assured me she understood and is always there for me. I really appreciate it, too. :) 

Noticed lately that the outer edge of my lower lip has this bluish-purple tint to it. Wonder what that could be about? Probably just age. I have to use a magnifying mirror when applying mascara that’s how blind I am these days, and OMG, the wrinkles I’m starting to get! LOL, I am really starting to age and show it, too. Even my hands are starting to look old. 

Saw that Doc Hottie was on Facebook last night adding a new friend. Oh, so she does check in during the week, too? I figured she’d only be on over the weekend. Maybe doctors have more free time than I thought. 

I added a friend of the guy who added me from Thailand last night to see if they’d get and accept the request. They did. Then I realized that was stupid of me, whether Facebook has been glitchy or actively controlling who I can and cannot contact/friend. If I go to add a friend of a friend, why wouldn’t it go through? But since I already sent the doc two messages, which appear not to have been delivered and received, the odds of a friend request going through to her are slim. I’m sure God will also help see to it that it doesn’t since He really seems to have a problem with local hotties. But why, though? It’s not like she’d come over when Tom was at work and drag me into the bedroom, so what difference does it make? I never could’ve had anyone I met in jail in Arizona, and I never could’ve had anyone in Oregon either except for maybe Jane. But Liz, Jan and Randy were never a possibility. Even if she accepts it, I don’t expect to ever see her again much less get it on with her, so then why is it such a “sin” to be connected to the hotties? Nane was hot yet we were connected. Ah, but God knew we never met in the past and we would never meet in the future either, so I guess that’s what made it “ok.” I’ll never see the doc again, but I once did. I suppose that’s enough to make a world of difference, right God? 

But I won’t know for sure what happened when I see that the friend request hasn’t been accepted. Unless she tells me on MyHealth not to bother with her, she may very well get the request and choose to ignore it. What do I think will happen? I don’t think she’ll have anything to say about it either way and that she’ll either not get the request or will ignore it altogether. 

Then again, there is a way I could tell if it was denied or ignored/not received, actually. All I have to do is check her timeline. If I find it’s no longer pending at some point, then that means it was denied. If it’s always pending, then it’s either being ignored or it was never received. As for the last two, there’s no way I can ever know that for sure. I’m sure some people wouldn’t want to actually go and deny a request for fear of hurting anyone’s feelings, so they may choose to just let it sit there.