We now know what happened to our Romeo ratty. I thought he was dying when I first saw him struggling to move since he is old. Then I thought he had a stroke, but came to have my doubts because his motor skills worked just fine even though he seemed to have lost the use of his back legs. It’s actually only one back foot that he lost. I don’t know how the hell this happened, but the other day (until recently I was afraid to get too close to him or move him in case he was in pain although he didn’t appear to be), his foot looked almost like it was shriveled up and as if his toes were rotted away. I know it sounds gross. I guess he somehow injured it, and animals then instinctively chew away the dead or rotted areas to keep from getting infections or gang green. Totally gross, I know, but I’m just sorry he suffered at least initially and I never even knew it. 

Slept in most of the morning. It’s been rainy and quiet. We decided not to paint the bathrooms today. We’re not only not in the mood, but it’s better to have bright sunlight for that sort of thing. Instead, we worked out and my heart responded normally. Still don’t know for sure what makes it boom so fiercely at times. I guess it’s either the thyroid or anxiety because no one who’s listened to my heart lately has heard anything wrong with it. I will just stick to working out with Tom for a while. 

Had tons of dreams but only remember a few. I’ll write them down later on. 

Got two voice messages from my sister and a text from Andy. Andy said the router’s fucked up and Linda doesn’t have a desktop. Then he and his nieces went to a café with Internet access and he checked in on Ask. 

Tammy's shopping around for a new car but being very picky and selective about it, which is a good thing. She’s still sore but recovering, and also asked if I knew what happened to Natalie and Al from the beach. They were another couple that used to be friends with my parents and owned a cottage right by ours. Andy said Al died in 2008. Also, some guy named Charlie is in our old cottage now and I guess he isn’t very nice. 

Later… 

So I was reading this article on why Maui living is cheaper than you think and a lot of it makes sense. There are things you wouldn’t think of, like how you go, “OMG, gas is so expensive there!” But how far do you actually drive in Maui? 

I think it would depend on what we would personally have to give up, as anyone would have to think about when considering that kind of a move. I still highly doubt it will happen, but yes, I would take an old dumpy place there if it was on the beach and there weren’t other houses an arm’s reach away. Otherwise, I would insist on a senior area. It’s definitely cheaper to rent too, instead of owning. Might not be many places for bike riding there, and I would want to know if dogs were treated as pets there. If they’re not pets, then what’s the point of renting some cute little affordable cottage on the beach if Fido’s going off round the clock to the left, and Spot’s doing the same thing to the right? Dogs must be pets there and pets only and not outdoor decorations, senior area or not! Wonder if they’re considered pets in Florida? They do have to be brought in as pets only where my sister is. They’ll really get on you if you leave them outside or let them run around loose on no leash, so she’s said. 

Still getting dizzy and sluggish at times, but anything’s better than a booming heart. 

It just occurred to me that I have never ever seen the lady across from our carport. Tom’s seen her once or twice, which is how we know there’s just a single woman over there. I’ve looked into her carport and seen her red SUV absent here and there, but I’ve never actually seen her. She doesn’t have much company or take off very often, but she has more company than next door. 

Two nights or so ago, I had a dream I was in the middle of some kind of group meeting or class. The woman heading it asked me what my weight was and I said, “Oh, about 105-110,” which was weird. I would never lie about my weight or my age or things like that. I tell it like it is without caring what others think. 

Then I had a dream my mother was alive and called to tell me about a couple who died, but I had no idea who the people were she was talking about. 

In last night’s dreams, I was either visiting or living in Florida and I was telling my sister about the Nutrisystem program I was joining. In reality, I am considering signing up next year and losing 20-30 pounds or so if I can get my body to do it. For the last several years I’ve only cared about being fit but haven’t done anything to actually lose weight. Maybe now it’s time, for variety’s sake, to shed a little blubber. I have another month or so to think about it. Even if I couldn’t stand to do it for very long or if my thyroid prevented me from succeeding, and it very well might, the food would still be eaten and so the money wouldn’t be wasted. Health, happiness, and fitness are still more important to me than numbers on a scale, but the food was delish and it couldn’t hurt to try it for a month. 

In another dream, Tom and I were moving all over again from our Phoenix house like we did in 1999. Only difference was that it had two floors in the dream. Tom was kind of sad, saying that the house held good memories, like how it was where we got married. Not literally where we got married, which was really in Vegas, but it was the house we lived in at the time. I pointed out that the house had shitty memories too, like what the welfare bums next door put us through.

In the last dream, I remember, we had a female and a male rat. We came home one night after being out somewhere and saw baby ratties present. We were baffled since the female and the male lived in separate cages. The female rat, which I picked up, was solid black. I inspected her for signs of having just had a litter, but she was pretty thin. So in the end we decided that someone broke in while we were out and deposited the babies in both cages, LOL.