Feeling pretty overwhelmed right now with this sleep disorder curse that seems to get worse and worse with age. I used to be able to flip it by 12 hours a week relatively easily enough with little to no effort. Now I’m lucky if it shifts more than 6 hours a week, but of course, trying to hold it in the exact same spot is out of the question, too. So it’s just incredibly frustrating to have to live with, and knowing there’s nothing they can do for it sucks even more. I wonder if I’d even want to go on living if the rest of my life weren’t going so well. 

Anyway, I’m getting up 4 hours behind my goal. I wanted to stay up closer to 5am and sleep till 1am, but instead I crashed between 2:00 - 2:30. After 6 hours of restless sleep, I got up at 9am. There’s no way I can flip it in 10 days, so my new goal for getting up over the next 10 days is 10am, 10am, 11am, 11am, noon, noon, 1pm, 1pm, 2pm & 2pm. Then, between the doc and Andy, I’ll push the hell out of it. Worst case scenario, I have to crash early when he arrives, but I figure he should be pretty jet-lagged by then anyway, plus 9pm will be like midnight to him. 

I’m going to have to let both Dana and the doc know that I can’t handle any more appointments this month. I am just way too damned overwhelmed. Every curse I’ve ever had was escapable at one point or another, but not this one. I know this is pure fantasy, but if it could keep slowing down… and slowing down… just a little more… and a little more… then I could actually hold the schedule and move on to wonder how the hell I’d get to work since the nearest bus stop is miles away. I wouldn’t have to work, of course (as long as he keeps making good money and I can at least work at home), but sometimes knowing we have options is more important to us than actually acting on them. Yes, it was my choice in the end not to have kids. But I didn’t appreciate the bastard above deciding for me before I settled in on what I wanted. 

Unless, of course, those who believe life is all about random chance are the correct ones, and nothing up there is making our decisions for us. Then I guess I’d have nothing and no one to blame but fate. We’ll just never know for sure why I only ended up with one miscarriage under my belt. Was it the DES exposure? The years of various medications? My thyroid? 

There’s been a change in Andy's plans just like there’s been a change in my schedule. He said he decided not to ask for Fleetwood Mac concert tickets in Sacramento. Therefore, his sisters Linda and Marla won’t be picking him up here on the 24th. Instead, he’ll Am-Track it to SF. Tom will look up and let him know the nearest train and bus station (in case he chooses the bus) when he gets home. 

Personally, I like this arrangement better. Nothing against his sisters, but I didn’t really want to entertain them as well. The idea is to see Andy and visit with him, not his sisters. 

Here we go again with the mystery plane orbiting round and round for God knows how many hours. Not nearly as annoying as Bob’s beloved power tools, but it does get old at times. The thing is that I found a video with a couple of other residents in the Sacramento area complaining about the same thing, and supposedly, no one knows who it is or why they keep flying round and round. This has been going on for weeks. The anchorwoman said the DEA denies it’s them and the plane’s call sign is blocked. I find it hard to believe that absolutely no one knows who it is or why it’s been flying around so many hours at a time in the same damn pattern. I hear it for hours in the daytime, and I hear it for hours at night. I used to think it was police helicopters, and yes, they’re out there at times, but I’ve come to realize that most of what I’ve been hearing these past weeks is that same small plane. 

Just realized that video goes back to last March. Still, why are there so many planes flying around here night and day? Phoenix wasn’t even like this. 

When we were at Target yesterday we grabbed a high-tech smoke detector that speaks and has this nice blue glow to it that might be a nice nightlight for the hallway. Right now I have a nightlight plugged into it. It’s like a long dark tunnel at night without something illuminating it. Anyway, for $100 this thing better not go off every time I cook or warm something up in the oven. That’s why we ditched the old one. 

We stopped at Dairy Queen on the way back for blizzards.