In one of my dreams last night Tom and I got into bed. He said something about being tired but still able to go a long way and then he asked if I was ready. I knew he was asking to have sex. I said I was, but then without thinking about it I rose from the bed and sat at a nearby table separating these orange rocks or beads by size. Then I felt bad for suddenly getting out of bed. 

Nane was in one of my dreams and it was strange because I was seeing the dream through this other girl’s eyes. Nane and I were supposedly an item in person and I watched this girl approach her as she sat by a lake where she and I had just been swimming. The girl said she had something really important to tell her about me. Nane looked wary for a second and then the girl told her that she believed I was psychic. Nane sort of laughed at that point and said, “Oh, I thought you were going to tell me she was seeing someone else.” 

In another dream, I was living in a huge house with a huge family, and I was also on probation and taking classes all day. My routine was to check in with my probation officer on the way to school each day. However, I couldn’t fall asleep one night. I sat in my room and when I saw it was 3 o’clock in the morning I started to get a little worried about how I would get enough sleep to function for the day. By 5 o’clock I’d pretty much given up. I fell into bed exhausted, trying to think of the best excuse for why I skipped checking in as well as school, figuring “I was up all night” wouldn’t cut it, getting old or not. 

Later… 

I’m still dealing with burning and itching right around where I pee and wondering just how correct Alyssa was with her enlarged hair follicle diagnosis. Should I be THIS itchy? I just wonder if I could have infected piss. I used the cream she gave me, then later a Vagisil wipe, then I rinsed off in the tub and I’m still itching. Usually one of these things helps it. Perhaps I need to use the cream twice a day for the full two weeks instead of just once a day here and there. 

It will be interesting to see if my white blood cell count comes back too high when they do blood work on me in May. If this is still irritating me when I see A in June, and I’m sure it will be, I’ll bring it up. Anything is better than killer anxiety, though. Still, why must I always suffer in some way or another? Why can’t I get a break for a while? I’m now beginning to worry more about what problems I may have on vacation than how hard my sleep issues may be on me. 

A coworker from India returned from a visit home and brought back gifts and gave Tom a gorgeous pen and little diary, as she called it. India’s really big on glitter, and colorful, shiny things, which I just love. I will use it to jot notes of whatever dreams I remember when I get up. Then we’ll eventually move someday and I’ll leave it here for the newcomers to try to figure out what the hell it means. ;) 

The damn drain is now clogged after I fed it the remainder of my cod. What’s the point of having a disposal if all it’s going to do is choke on the fucking food we feed it?! Never should’ve gotten a new one. Gonna treat this sink just like most sinks I’ve had from now on… disposal-less!