Sunday, April 15, 2018

I’m seriously considering pulling my books off of Amazon and hanging up that adventure altogether. I took off the lending function yet they’re STILL available for KU. Fucking Amazon! I’ll give it a few days but if my book page doesn’t reflect the changes by then, then these so-called “publishers” can go to hell. I’ll just pull my books off their site at that point. Thank God I didn’t sign any contracts! But that’s part of why I went with them in the first place.

I’m tired of their shit and how worthless they are when I try to reach out to them for help. If they think they’re going to make money at my expense and continue to get paid for my hard work, they’re in for a surprise.

I was meant to be a homemaker and a hobbyist. Nothing else. I can still write for fun whenever I get ideas and I can still edit old stuff. If I write just for myself, though, I don’t have to be as picky.

Feeling a little anxious, Sunday night or not, and again I question the medication and whether or not I can really handle 5 doses a week instead of 4. There’s definitely something about the drug itself, especially this brand. It just sucks knowing I may never be able to find someone who can help me. I mean really help me. I’ve got a doctor working against me and no other real alternative, which is probably part of why she’s working against me. If I can’t take the only drug available for my disease, then how can I treat myself? And if things happen for a reason, why would whatever’s up there want me to be unable to take the medication my body needs? To keep me fat? I don’t know about that because there have been numerous people who have no problem with it, get their numbers normal, but still can’t lose weight. I’m sure the weight is just an age thing.

Started watching Manhunt on Netflix. I see Chris Noth is in it. I loved him on the original Law & Order.

Had some weird dreams after sleeping a long time for the second time in less than a week. I slept 10 hours. After I got up we went to McDonald’s.

I’m also trying another cleaning schedule where I do bathrooms and the kitchen every week, bedrooms bi-weekly along with light dusting, and then a very thorough dusting once a month.

Okay, so in one dream Tom was driving super fast to get around some erratic driver and I was worried about crashing into speed bumps but he went over them as if they weren’t even there.

Then I was walking a bike with just one handlebar and finally, I decided I could ride it okay after adjusting some kind of strange music player and its memory card.

In another dream, I was on a “potty chair.” This was a plush chair that was also a toilet of some bizarre kind.

Next, I dreamed that my dentist was looking to replace Kathleen. Or was it herself?

In the last dream, there were these 150-foot-tall stone doors between the US and Mexico. It was decided that since they couldn’t curb the immigration problem they would simply say fuck it and just let people come and go between the two countries as they pleased.

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